Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just asking out of curiosity!

My fiance calls my parents mom and dad and has for about a year or so. All are fine with it. I just call his parents by their first names because that is what I am comfortable with and prefer to reserve mom/dad for my biological parents -- all are fine with that as well! So this works for us, but wondering what others so and if the transition to calling them something new was awkward. (Did they ask that you call them that? Did you just start post-marriage without a prompt?)

Nope. They're not my parents. They are family, but not my parents.

Yup--first names. My husband calls my parents by their first names, too. It's perfectly friendly, but I would feel really uncomfortable calling them Mom and Dad.

I find it odd that there are so many people with such strong feelings about this. I posted before that we both call our in-laws Mom and Dad (and I call our next door neighbor, who also is my former elementary school teacher, Sheila).

I was thinking that it was because we are foster and adoptive parents so we maybe we skew to be more flexible with the concepts of "mom" and "dad" ... but then my husband reminded me that our parents did the same with their in-laws.

It will be interesting to see what our children and their spouses do when they marry. Whatever happens, I hope that their spouses feel comfortable telling us what form of address they prefer.

There was never a discussion about it. Like another poster's BIL, I lost my mom to cancer as a young adult. It seems wrong to call my MIL Mom. They will refer to themselves as that when they call me. "Hi! It's Mom!" I want to say, "No, it isn't," but I just don't say anthing and I just speak in their direction so I don't have to use a name.

Anonymous wrote:No, and I don’t want to offend anyone by saying what I actually call MIL.

But DH started calling my parents mom and dad at some point though and everyone seems comfortable with that.

I should mention she did sit down with me once and ask me to call her mom. I just ignored her.

No, and I don’t want to offend anyone by saying what I actually call MIL.

But DH started calling my parents mom and dad at some point though and everyone seems comfortable with that.

We had a few months of deliberation for this situation. MIL asked me a few times in person if I had given some thought to what I’d like to call her. I was caught off guard, I politely told her I would think about it... I never did. She then e-mailed me requesting an answer. I again told her, I needed more time to think about it... I (again) never did. She finally emailed me options and we came to an agreement.
I’m a foreigner and we don’t practice such custom in my culture. 1) I found the whole ordeal hilarious 2) cute at the same time 3) I do not call her mom but she’s okay with what we agreed on.

I asked my in laws what they wanted and they said first names. I would have been fine with mom and dad.
But my parents asked my husband to call them mom
And Dad. He was never able to do it and just doesn’t address them directly.

No way. First names. For me and dh and respective in laws. I have a mom and dad and he has his. We are all super close. He actually calls his parents by first names but that his deal.

First names. I was hoping to use grandma and grandpa once we had kids but they decided their grandparent special boomer names would be Gaga and PapPaps so yeah I can't say that either. I often say "go to your grandparents" but try not to say their special grandparent names. I'm hoping my toddlers say grandma and grandpa.

They wanted me to call them mom and dad.

I don;t but my BIL calls our ILs mom and dad. I'm sure they wish I would too but I just can't

My in-laws, six years into our marriage, told my DH they wanted me to call them Mr. and Mrs. LastName. They also try to dictate what my DH calls my mother (she prefers her first name and they have told him multiple times to call her Mrs. last name). It’s a power and control thing on their end - it comes through is other aspects of life as well.

Both of my parents are dead and I call my MIL Mom. She has always been very dear and kind to me and its very comforting to still call someone Mom.

They told me to call them Mommy and Daddy. Yeah right.

Nope. They would probably be ok with it, but I'm just not feeling it. We aren't close. I find myself having to force a happy face around them. I don't feel comfortable around them. I can't feel this way around someone and still bring myself to call them mom and dad.

No. I call MIL by her first name. She tried to get me to call her mom a couple times but it never felt right to me.