Anonymous wrote:Yes, it would be very rude. "On retreat" is not a valid reason to skip a milestone family celebration.

Would be a Giant “F you” to your MIL.

Anonymous wrote:My compromise would be to arrive back from the yoga retreat just in time for the party (like 2 hours before) so you’re there but nothing is your responsibility

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:70 is a milestone birthday? Since when?

Anyway take your kids to your MILs house for get bday. Have the kids help you make her a cake while you are there.

Problem solved - no one is coming to your house, no party to plan

What do you consider a milestone birthday if 70 isn't one?

I agree. Go to her house and make her children responsible for the party planning. There is no reason this should all fall on you. Next year, be gone on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being ridiculous. You SAH. (I do as well) You have plenty of time. It's not that hard to clean the house and host a family party for a 70 year old. Why on earth would you want to hurt your MIL and cause family drama? Being part of a family means sometimes putting others before yourself. Host the party, then reward yourself with a yoga retreat the next week.

This is some sexist bs right here. I'm another sah with ils who expected me to host and party plan for their inconsiderate family. Op refuse to house anyone other than your mil and fil. The other adults need to get a hotel. Take a hard line on that one. You are stuck hosting this year but do less. You are a sucker who let this go on too long. You are not obligated to be responsible for anyone else's celebration. My ils were takers and I was the sah who they tried to take advantage of. Start saying no.

I can't stand my MIL and she recently had a big bday . I fantasized about a million ways to miss it, but of course know that "suck it up" is the ONLY option. You can miss or change the everyday gatherings, but this is a one time thing, and it would be wrong to miss it.

Anonymous wrote:70 is a milestone birthday? Since when?

Anyway take your kids to your MILs house for get bday. Have the kids help you make her a cake while you are there.

Problem solved - no one is coming to your house, no party to plan

What do you consider a milestone birthday if 70 isn't one?

September is a ways away. Maybe your problem will solve itself, OP. Won't that be grand.

70 is a milestone birthday? Since when?

Anyway take your kids to your MILs house for get bday. Have the kids help you make her a cake while you are there.

Problem solved - no one is coming to your house, no party to plan

Tell the others you will host provided everything is outsourced (food, decoration, party help to clean) and split the cost. Come up with a budget and get the money ahead of time.

Yes, that would be extremely rude, OP.

Just host the party. Then go to the retreat to recover, if you have to. It's rude and ungenerous to leave. Don't do it.

My compromise would be to arrive back from the yoga retreat just in time for the party (like 2 hours before) so you’re there but nothing is your responsibility

OP, I agree you can't/shouldn't let your resentment at your BIL and SIL drive this. It is a milestone birthday and you should be there and do whatever is needed to help make it a wonderful time for your MIL.

That said, I also agree that you can and should set reasonable boundaries and be very clear about what you need from others. Just because you are a stay at home mom doesn't mean all the other adults in the family gets to treat you like THEIR mom, expecting you to do all the work. All members of the family should talk about how to make this a nice weekend and how each can contribute.

OP, you are being ridiculous. You SAH. (I do as well) You have plenty of time. It's not that hard to clean the house and host a family party for a 70 year old. Why on earth would you want to hurt your MIL and cause family drama? Being part of a family means sometimes putting others before yourself. Host the party, then reward yourself with a yoga retreat the next week.

Dear OP: Must confess....I read your post, but not the previous post.
You sound like a hideous bit$h. Host the damn party. Your a SAHM who has a MIL who adores your kids and you’re going to peace out to a yoga retreat?
Your husband, kids, in laws and family got the short end of the stuck with you.
Ok.....I’m done. Down dog....down.