Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:38     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.


I worked with 2 year old in a daycare. We had a sensory sand box, and a dirt box and straw for Halloween. I assure you most of the 2 year olds dumped some or all of it all the time. We supervised all their play with these sensory boxes. And cleaned like nuts non stop, so by the time you came it looked perfect. Bcs, all the parents like the idea of their kids having these things to explore and none like to have the room dirty or their kids dirty. Kids were cleaned, floor was cleaned, and sand, beans, dirt was cleaned. Every single kid dumped something, threw something. Even the "well behaved ones." Because you know what is more fun than playing with sand or beans? Dumping them on the floor or on your friend.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:37     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Examples:

- There is a bin of dried beans with scoops and trucks in it. DD takes the beans in her hands and drops them on the floor. Host or I will tell her that the beans stay in the bin. DD does it again. Same correction. DD does it again. The other kids also did it but stopped after the first time they were corrected.

- DD took a scoop from another bin and threw it on the floor. The host asked her to please pick it up and put it back. DD didn't understand what she was asking her to do and the host sort of rolled her eyes.

These are two examples from two days ago.



The problem isn't your kid, OP. Those examples aren't out of the realm of normal for a 2 year old. (They don't call it terrible twos for nothing...)

But what is out of the realm of normal is your response. The HOST shouldn't be the one correcting your DD or asking her to put things back. YOU should be all over your daughter in those situations. Beans land on the floor, YOU get on the ground with your DD and help her clean it up and tell her that the beans stay in the floor. She does it again? YOU remove her from the beans for a little while.

My guess is the host wasn't rolling her eyes at your DD for not understanding, she was rolling her eyes at you for not being the one to deal with your daughter.


1000 times this.


NP +1. The problem is that you're not correcting your misbehaving child. I have 4yo and 2yo boys. I know alllll about high energy. Real high energy, that is. They can run around a theme park all day long. Even my little one rides his bike for miles. We literally have a climbing structure in our living room, even though it means we don't have space for other things, because my kids need to climb several times per day. But we also have tons of stuff like that bean table you're describing. And you know what, everything stays on the table. No matter what we're playing, they're expected to do it appropriately, all pieces are picked up and put back at the end, and look around on the floor to make sure you haven't forgotten any pieces. Yes, even when my kids are 2 years old (and before!).

Instead of coming on a forum to complain that an experienced mother isn't happy about your 2yo tearing up her house, why don't you either raise your child to behave appropriately or at least take her out of that playgroup and start one of your own for unruly - erm "high energy" - kids. Ideally at your own house.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:35     Subject: If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.


Marshmallow kid? That is so hurtful. I have a quiet, studious little guy who loves books. He is not a marshmallow.

Yeah, I'm glad you all love your "high-energy" kids, but insulting other kids is a pretty terrible way to demonstrate it. Honestly, when someone feels the need to do this, I figure their kid is a holy terror and they're making excuses for it. Because normal parents don't feel the need to put down other little kids.


Whatever, snow flake parents. I like active kids because I am really active and so is DH. But, everything is an insult to people who are sedentary and have nothing better to do. Plus, you just insulted me, so way to go, no take the higher road for you, but there should be one for me? Hypocrites. To each their own.


Oh, chill out, Snowflake. My son was a quiet well behaved little guy and still an amazing athlete. He was All State in Football and Baseball and is not at Dartmouth playing baseball. He has a chance at going pro. High energy doesn't mean bratty and ill-behaved.


We are talking about 2 year olds. They aren't miniature pre-k kids. They are still babies in a lot of ways, many are still in diapers, they may get cranky if they miss a nap. They have tantrums and meltdowns. The big wide world is like a huge experimental lab to them: "What happens if I drop this?" "What happens if I roll this down the stairs?" "What happens if a throw this at my brother?"...

You have to watch them and give them toys that are developmentally appropriate.



Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:33     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.


Blame everyone but the kid or parenting is standard here. If a kid punches his mom or dad in the face posters here will say it's the parent's fault for having a face.


Yeah that PP must be new year. In the DCUM world, kids are never responsible for their actions. It's always someone else's fault
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:32     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.


It's the same PPs who are posting rude comments about calm kids. No way would a bean bin have been good for my 2 year old. But I was also a bit more vigilant and would never have needed another mom to tell him 4 times (3 with one bin and 1 for the other) not to dump stuff out.

Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:31     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.


Blame everyone but the kid or parenting is standard here. If a kid punches his mom or dad in the face posters here will say it's the parent's fault for having a face.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:31     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, wait, totally NP here, but the PP who coined "marshmallow kid" meant it as a compliment, right? Like the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment? I am so confused about why people are acting like it's insulting?


I am impressed. Soulmate pp!


Lol, okay, just making sure I hadn't missed something. I never read it any other way (as someone who at least likes to think I would have been a marshmallow kid).
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:27     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
? There is a sensory bean bin at my DS's preschool in the two-year-old room. No one dumps the beans on the floor.

I don't get the "host was asking for trouble" comments.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:26     Subject: If you sense someone doesn't like your child
To the pps saying beans are a stupid think to have with 2 year olds, the other kids didn't seem to have the same issue as ops kid.

This seems to boil down to the fact that ops kid needs to be told multiple times not to do something and the other kids don't. Perhaps you can throw in a little bit about op not paying attention or excusing her kids behavior so the other mom has to step in.

Kids like OP's kid can be tiring for parents who have kids who are more calm/whose behavior can be corrected easier.

The other mom doesn't sound mean or wrong, she just seems a bit annoyed.

Op's kid isn't wrong or even that poorly behaved (she's so young!) But OP does seem a bit naive and it's likely her behavior that is annoying the host mom so much!

Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:25     Subject: If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't care. Plus, your kid sounds out of control TO HER. Notice I wrote to her? People are different, some have a high threshold and some are more high strung and have a low threshold. Why take him to her house in any case if you can see that she can't handle your kid well? I know plenty of parents who go on and on about how their kids were high energy, and then they meet my kids! You realize it is like people who claim they are fine with dogs and want to pet my high energy golden, and I say no, you don't, trust me, and they still say, no it's fine, and I say, no he is fine as long as you ignore him and don't show affection and excitement.....And they are stubborn fools, so voila I say fine, and he gets into excited frenzy at their feet and jumps, because, hey they gave him permission, and then they start being all startled and clearly have no idea what a high energy golden acts like, with all of his 65-70lbs. So, same with my kids, people don't have a clue. So realize that her high energy and your are two different things, that maybe to her your kid is out of control and to me he might be a "low energy"as our POTUS might say. Avoid that playdate, and have a great time at a trampoline gym instead. Anyway, I'd take high energy kid over a marshmallow kid any day.


Marshmallow kid? That is so hurtful. I have a quiet, studious little guy who loves books. He is not a marshmallow.

Yeah, I'm glad you all love your "high-energy" kids, but insulting other kids is a pretty terrible way to demonstrate it. Honestly, when someone feels the need to do this, I figure their kid is a holy terror and they're making excuses for it. Because normal parents don't feel the need to put down other little kids.


Whatever, snow flake parents. I like active kids because I am really active and so is DH. But, everything is an insult to people who are sedentary and have nothing better to do. Plus, you just insulted me, so way to go, no take the higher road for you, but there should be one for me? Hypocrites. To each their own.


Oh, chill out, Snowflake. My son was a quiet well behaved little guy and still an amazing athlete. He was All State in Football and Baseball and is not at Dartmouth playing baseball. He has a chance at going pro. High energy doesn't mean bratty and ill-behaved.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:25     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:Ok, wait, totally NP here, but the PP who coined "marshmallow kid" meant it as a compliment, right? Like the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment? I am so confused about why people are acting like it's insulting?


I am impressed. Soulmate pp!
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:22     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Ok, wait, totally NP here, but the PP who coined "marshmallow kid" meant it as a compliment, right? Like the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment? I am so confused about why people are acting like it's insulting?
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:20     Subject: If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Anonymous wrote:OP hasn’t said what exactly her dd is doing. Just high energy...

I think it’s great most people are siding with the op. The other mom sounds like she will give her (marshmallow, love it) dd an anxiety disorder. I cannot imagine judging a 2yo! They are 2. They are drunk little monsters!

My oldest was the perfect child. Talked in paragraphs at 18 months. Was quiet and polite. She was also cautious and....slow. She is smart as a whip, read at age 2. But a slow processor. She was sooooo easy to parent.

My youngest is high energy. She runs circles around my oldest. Just so damn quick and into everything and wanting to know why and experimenting and testing boundaries. It’s exhausting.

I remember when my oldest was 22 months she memorized all the planets. So easy...

My youngest just wants to know where the F space is. Where is my space shuttle. Why can’t we jump off the roof? I’m an astronaut!!!! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 (top of her lungs).

Yeah. It’s different. And not easier. But they are 2! This is how they process the world. No, I don’t let her jump on other people’s couches. Op didn’t say she was either.


Thanks for liking my turn or phrase! I didn't think it would cause so much anxiety to people...
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:11     Subject: If you sense someone doesn't like your child
Op, your children may simply be incompatible. I had high energy kids, too. They had their moments when they would sit and "read" quietly but play dates with friends inside a new playroom could get fairly wild when they were two.

A bean table would have been a disaster, lol. And, yes, I am the type of mom who would have stepped in a grabbed my kid if they were making a mess like that. I would also silently think that a mom who put a bin of beans out for 2 year olds was a bit stupid.....with poor judgement. Yep.
Anonymous
Post 02/02/2018 13:08     Subject: Re:If you sense someone doesn't like your child
What are you doing when this is happening, OP? You should be helping your DD clean up the beams.