Anonymous wrote:We always say no gifts (although we have asked for book donations to specific causes-ie school library). Frankly we are rich and our kids have plenty. An invitation shouldn’t come with strings attached.

Anonymous wrote:OMG -- take a couple of weeks and read all the threads about no gift parties. Or, let me summarize them for you:

When an invitation says "no gifts" it means NO GIFTS. No gift expected, no gift desired. No means no. Think "no shoes" or "no nuts" or "no candy" or "no siblings." No means "I really, truly, honestly don't want that in my house."

Here's what NEVER happens:

"We said no gifts but DC was so disappointed that no one brought gifts."
"We said no gifts and one family only gave a handmade card. What cheapskates."
"We said no gifts but what we really wanted was a room full of plastic stuff that people brought because they thought it would look awkward if they actually did what we specifically asked them to do."

Here's what OFTEN happens, because for some reason DCUM moms can't read:

"We said no gifts but got 20 toys that we have no room to store and will have to donate or put in the trunk to regift next month. Which means I have to keep track of who gave what so I don't give it back to them."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

+1

Parents try so hard to think they are being so great and thoughtful. If you don’t want your kid to have gifts, don’t have a birthday party then. Stop the confusion to your kid, their friends, their parents. Wait until a month after his birthday and just have a party. If your kid is fine with no presents, I am sure he is fine with no singing happy birthday. Because what else is the difference?

THIS!!!!! It used to be a birthday party was to celebrate the actual birthday child. A nice day of special treats, games, and presents with good friends. Now they are over the top “invite everyone I have ever laid eyes on” events with structured activities down to the minutes, teen party helpers, tons of food, junk candy, goodie bags full of junk for the invitees. But no presents for the birthday kid? Something is just wrong with this. Sounds like a corporate suck-up event.

Anonymous wrote:

Parents love to try to impress other parents. Asking no gifts is also another attempt to impress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

+1

Parents try so hard to think they are being so great and thoughtful. If you don’t want your kid to have gifts, don’t have a birthday party then. Stop the confusion to your kid, their friends, their parents. Wait until a month after his birthday and just have a party. If your kid is fine with no presents, I am sure he is fine with no singing happy birthday. Because what else is the difference?

THIS!!!!! It used to be a birthday party was to celebrate the actual birthday child. A nice day of special treats, games, and presents with good friends. Now they are over the top “invite everyone I have ever laid eyes on” events with structured activities down to the minutes, teen party helpers, tons of food, junk candy, goodie bags full of junk for the invitees. But no presents for the birthday kid? Something is just wrong with this. Sounds like a corporate suck-up event.

Parents love to try to impress other parents. Asking no gifts is also another attempt to impress.

Anonymous wrote:OMG -- take a couple of weeks and read all the threads about no gift parties. Or, let me summarize them for you:

When an invitation says "no gifts" it means NO GIFTS. No gift expected, no gift desired. No means no. Think "no shoes" or "no nuts" or "no candy" or "no siblings." No means "I really, truly, honestly don't want that in my house."

Here's what NEVER happens:

"We said no gifts but DC was so disappointed that no one brought gifts."
"We said no gifts and one family only gave a handmade card. What cheapskates."
"We said no gifts but what we really wanted was a room full of plastic stuff that people brought because they thought it would look awkward if they actually did what we specifically asked them to do."

Here's what OFTEN happens, because for some reason DCUM moms can't read:

"We said no gifts but got 20 toys that we have no room to store and will have to donate or put in the trunk to regift next month. Which means I have to keep track of who gave what so I don't give it back to them."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

+1

Parents try so hard to think they are being so great and thoughtful. If you don’t want your kid to have gifts, don’t have a birthday party then. Stop the confusion to your kid, their friends, their parents. Wait until a month after his birthday and just have a party. If your kid is fine with no presents, I am sure he is fine with no singing happy birthday. Because what else is the difference?

THIS!!!!! It used to be a birthday party was to celebrate the actual birthday child. A nice day of special treats, games, and presents with good friends. Now they are over the top “invite everyone I have ever laid eyes on” events with structured activities down to the minutes, teen party helpers, tons of food, junk candy, goodie bags full of junk for the invitees. But no presents for the birthday kid? Something is just wrong with this. Sounds like a corporate suck-up event.

Anonymous wrote:Judging by all these responses to no-gift parties, it seems pretty obvious many still show up with gifts or slip a gift card in a card. Do the parents then return them to the gift giver or keep them? If you keep them and allow your child to have them, that is really awkward.

I feel like if you don’t want your kid to have birthday presents, just don’t throw him a birthday party. Can’t you just have a few friends out to movies and lunch one day. Take a few friends laser tagging and then a sleepover. I agree with another poster. The parties are so big and impersonal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We don't have big parties. As a matter of fact, my kids can't invite more than how many can fit in my minivan. I say no gifts because my UMC kids don't need more gifts. I want them to anticipate the joy of celebrating with friends, not obsessing about what gifts they will be getting. So far it has worked. My younger son is a December birthday and this year we requested a gift donation for us to bring to toys for tots. My son absolutely loved donating "his presents". This to me is more in line with teaching my kids to havr a generous spirit.

Or, you know, your kids could anticipate both a fun party and fun presents from their friends. You're not giving your kids much credit.

+1

Parents try so hard to think they are being so great and thoughtful. If you don’t want your kid to have gifts, don’t have a birthday party then. Stop the confusion to your kid, their friends, their parents. Wait until a month after his birthday and just have a party. If your kid is fine with no presents, I am sure he is fine with no singing happy birthday. Because what else is the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I feel like if you don’t want your kid to have birthday presents, just don’t throw him a birthday party. Can’t you just have a few friends out to movies and lunch one day. Take a few friends laser tagging and then a sleepover. I agree with another poster. The parties are so big and impersonal.

Not all parties that are no gift parties are "big and impersonal." Our next door neighbor had a party with eight kids. It was a no gift party. We didn't bring a gift. We tend to have larger parties because DS has separate groups of friends from his public school, our church, and a supplemental school that he attends on the weekend for our native language/culture. The kids seem to have fun and get along, and frankly, I see nothing wrong with it.

Oh, you mean parent-engineered friends thru your over-scheduled activities? Not actual friends your child makes. Yeah, we see this all the time too. Big parties where most kids don’t know each other because mom cherry picks her favorites from every activity the child is in. Sounds so PC and grand.

How exactly do you think kids are supposed to make friends? Meet them at the bar? At work?