Was the last (horrific) flight your first flight with your daughter? Or has she been a better flier other times? My daughter was (and is -- but she is now 10) a great traveler, but there were three exceptions that stand out in my memory. One was a Houston-BWI leg, when she had been perfectly content on the leg from California to Houston.

I would take the view that good flights/bad flights with toddlers are a crap shoot and go, hoping for the best but anticipating the worst, since great-grandparents are unlikely to come to you.

I’m sorry if I missed this but is it an overnight flight? You might have better luck getting her to sleep. I would ask your pets about Benadryl (but test it out at home first).

My DS was a nightmare when we flew at 16 months (the previous flights were better when I was still nursing). So I feel your pain. I think it was his ears bothering him, plus he was just more mobile/restless. I would still go and just do the best you can.

Anonymous wrote:Lol you had a tough three hour flight so a flight to Europe is now insurmountable? My goodness. Does your anxiety impact your daily life in other ways as well?

Not the OP, but JFC. Not all babies are good fliers. There’s a difference between “tough” and “horrific.” As a parent of a terrible flier (who has a great personality and temperament otherwise), I learned the hard way that one size does not fit all. Why DCUM has to treat inability to fly as a personal failing is beyond me. No one crucifies those parents whose kids can’t sleep through the night; why give OP a hard time?

OP, you know your baby best. Trust your gut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and my family medicine doc mom friend also recommends benadryl when needed for sleep.

I can't find dosage info. Maybe I will call pediatrician to see if they can tell me.

Careful with the Benadryl. It makes about 10% of kids hyper. Try it out before the plane.

+1. My DS got wired on Benadryl so we could never use it. We had lots of 14+ hour flights being in the foreign service. Test first!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is easier with two parents on the flight. Did she have an ear infection that made the pressure changes painful? Could be a medical issue if she cried for 3 hours.

Don't think it was an ear infection. She had to skip nap time, and is the kind of kid that rolls around her crib to fall asleep. Can't do that on a plane.

But, did she have her own seat or are you trying to do this as a lap baby?

OP, when my son was 12 months old we went to Europe and he screamed for nine hours on the plane. It was horrific. Fortunately passengers were only sympathetic (to my face). I think I may have ptsd.

But as it was the outbound journey we had no option but to come back. I did give baby Tylenol in case it had been a pain issue (though no sign it was - but he was very distressed and angry about being on the plane). Anyway, the good news is that he was fine on the way back. He slept easily. Such a relief. In retrospect, I am sure something was wrong on that plane that he couldn't tell us. Something hurt him and perhaps the Tylenol helped on the way back r perhaps he was just more comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you take a 12-month old to Europe in the first place?...

Save us all and cancel.

+1. This is why you travel before you have kids folks.

I took my 13 month old son to Europe with no incidents on the flight or otherwise, and the Irish people/restaurants/facilities were about 100x more accommodating of kids than US places.

Sorry but I must have missed this part - is your DH going on this trip or just you? If he is also going I think you can suck it up and manage. Your odds are better if it's 2 on 1. I'm still concerned why your child would scream for an entire 3 hour flight. You make it sound like that's not normal but I think you claimed the baby wasn't ill. Mine were fussy babies on planes but I could usually nurse or hold/carry them and they would calm down. So usually just cried for takeoff and landing.

12-24 months is the hardest age to travel. We had to make that flight several times when we lived in Europe but tried hard to keep it to a minimum and for 10 years I have advised against traveling overnight with children that age.

I agree either suck it up and just go for it or else cancel. Your other options don't sound very good to me.

Anonymous wrote:I was planning to go to Europe with my 12-month-old DD next month, but after a solo 3-hour plane ride in the past few weeks, I decided I can't do it, even though my DH will be there. Grandparents live far, and it will be another $800-$900 and two vacation days to get DD to grandparents, because they won't come here to stay while we are away. Right now, I feel like my options are this:

1. Cancel the trip, and be out the cost of tickets to Europe
2. Spend the extra money to fly the kid both ways to grandparents, even though the whole point of not taking her with us is to avoid taking her on a plane
3. Find a temporary nanny which will cost I don't know how much. Any ideas how much 24 hour care would cost for 8 days? If she still goes to daycare, would that count as 24 hour care?

What would you do?

Cancel or bring her. These other ideas of having strangers (to her) take care of her for a week while you and her father are out of the country ON VACATION are terrible. Separation anxiety is huge at that age and there is no way for her to understand that you are coming back.

I can only think that you are considering this because you are currently overwhelmed. Cancel your trip abroad and ask you husband to do the heavy lifting for 2 or 3 days while you get away somewhere closer. Spa, fancy hotel, whatever. Then maybe he can do the same when you return. Then hire a babysitter for an evening so you guys can have a date night.

Anonymous wrote:I'd just take her - next flight may be nothing like the one your already took. 2nd choice would be to cancel - other options don't sound very good.

This is what I'd do.

Barring an emergency, I can't imagine leaving a 12 month old overnight with an adult she doesn't know very well. Grandparents who live far away, and have never taken on a caring role when they visit, wouldn't be any more of an option than a brand new babysitter.

The only other option I'd consider would be to send one parent (presumably OP, since it sounds like the trip is to visit her relatives) and leave the other one at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could test out giving her Benadryl to see if that will make her sleep. (Test it out before the flight since some kids get hyper instead of sleepy.)

I'm sorry but that is absolutely unconscionable. Do not do this

How is that unconscionable? Even physicians recommend it. You're nuts.


--the only way I managed to haul two kids back and forth from the Middle East alone.

Anonymous wrote:You could test out giving her Benadryl to see if that will make her sleep. (Test it out before the flight since some kids get hyper instead of sleepy.)

I'm sorry but that is absolutely unconscionable. Do not do this

You could test out giving her Benadryl to see if that will make her sleep. (Test it out before the flight since some kids get hyper instead of sleepy.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Option 4: just go. What happened on your flight? It’ll be fine.

Screamed the entire flight. I can't handle that for 8-9 hours.Plus, I realized there is no point in going on a vacation with her if I can't get any rest. I may as well just go to work and take her to daycare. I'd be more rested and relaxed.

This is why you do extended breastfeeding. Anytime our kid was ready to cry, my wife just stuck her boob in kid's mouth. End of crying. Worked for nearly three years.

That works if you were able to successfully breastfeed in the first place. Not all of us are so lucky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you bring the grandparents with you to Europe? We went to Paris with our then 15 month old and brought my parents. It was awesome. Flight was surprisingly fine - she slept the whole time on the way there. Way back sucked but it was one finite period of time. She adjusted to the time change no issues.

If not, I’d drop off DD with your parents. Seems crazy to introduce a new caretaker for a week and it’ll cost more than just getting her to grandparents (although annoying they won’t come to you!)

Grandparents wouldn't come, and frankly, I wouldn't want them to join. My parents are difficult, and when I vacationed with them with DD but without DH they didn't help change a single diaper. They watched her while I packed, but that was pretty much it. This was after they begggggggggged me to join them. Other grandparents can't join, either. They don't want to be away from home.

You chose to have children so please don't burden your parents or ILs.

You must be somebody's MIL.