Anonymous wrote:It annoys me a lot. Admire me as a great coworker. Find me interesting enough to be a friend. But don't flirt. To me, that means you don't respect me or my husband or my relationship. So I figure you don't have much respect for women in general.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think they're clueless, considering the clear "not interested" vibes I am putting out.
If the guy is genuinely good-looking or charming, I still find them clueless, but I am also slightly flattered.
Perhaps you are one of the many, many, many clueless women that think men are hitting on them by being nice.
So true.
LOL
No.
Ehhhh, let’s be honest - the bolded part is more likely what’s happening. And I am a woman. I think most people today are wrapped up in their worlds (and phones) and that tends to put things in a “me” perspective, meaning, oh he’s being nice he must be flirting with me because I’m so hot even though I’m sending out vibes I’m not interested. (See how many MEs and Is were in there??)
Also be honest: there are plenty of "nice guys" who have the idea - perhaps not even consciously - that "if I'm a nice guy she'll see I'm not a jerk like all the other guys and she'll want to sleep with me".
If you were old, fat or ugly, he probably wouldn't be nice to you. You'd be invisible.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think they're clueless, considering the clear "not interested" vibes I am putting out.
If the guy is genuinely good-looking or charming, I still find them clueless, but I am also slightly flattered.
Perhaps you are one of the many, many, many clueless women that think men are hitting on them by being nice.
So true.
LOL
No.
Ehhhh, let’s be honest - the bolded part is more likely what’s happening. And I am a woman. I think most people today are wrapped up in their worlds (and phones) and that tends to put things in a “me” perspective, meaning, oh he’s being nice he must be flirting with me because I’m so hot even though I’m sending out vibes I’m not interested. (See how many MEs and Is were in there??)
Anonymous wrote:Uh, hand on the knee isn't flirting. That's groping.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Guy (happily married Dad) posting. I may be confused. If I tell a woman I like her earrings, is that flirting? Does it matter if she is working the Checkout at my local bagel place, versus she is a parent of one of my kids’ classmates, versus someone who works in my building? I always thought I was just being friendly, but maybe you’re telling me I’m flirting without realizing it (or at least you think I’m flirting). If I tell you I like your earrings, it’s because I like them, not because I want to make out with you.
If you would compliment a man's jewelry then maybe you're just being nice. If you wouldn't, then you're absolutely flirting by mentioning earrings because there is a gendered, sexual component to your flattery.
Anonymous wrote:^^^ me again. And even compliments are iffy. I don't like people at work making comments about my body or looks. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.
I had a guy once compliment my body. There was a female manager in the room, and she shot me a nasty look. I really got irritated at the guy. I don't think he realized how that only feeds tension between women in the workplace. It also was inappropriate of him. The female manager should have shot him the nasty look, though, because he was the one acting inappropriately. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't even where form-fitting clothing. I actually go out of my way not to where things that emphasize my body because I just really don't want that attention.
That said, I get equally uncomfortable when women make comments about my body in the context of weight. Usually, it takes the form of a woman being self-deprecating about her weight and then saying something about "you don't have to worry about that" or something along those lines. It just makes me feel weird. I don't know why people feel the need to comment on other people's bodies in the workplace. I never do it.
Anonymous wrote:If it’s Denzel, it’s flattering.
If it’s Clarence, it’s creepy.
It’s all misogynistic.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think they're clueless, considering the clear "not interested" vibes I am putting out.
If the guy is genuinely good-looking or charming, I still find them clueless, but I am also slightly flattered.
Perhaps you are one of the many, many, many clueless women that think men are hitting on them by being nice.
So true.
LOL
No.
Anonymous wrote:If it’s Denzel, it’s flattering.
If it’s Clarence, it’s creepy.
It’s all misogynistic.
Anonymous wrote:I think it's hard to tell what is flirting and what is just a guy being nice.
I've had to see an ENT recently for a health issue; he's very attractive. He always tells me I look great and makes intense eye contact. It almost seems flirty but I think it's just him being friendly. I think it's easy to confuse the two.
Anonymous wrote:Even though a woman is married, that doesn't stop men from flirting with them. This behavior is very normal in an office environment, etc.