Anonymous
01/17/2018 14:48
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
OP - how come you only reply when you want to refute a suggestion as being absolutely impossible or false?
Folks have mentioned safety issues if he's moving furniture that has not been mounted, suggested a million things, asked questions about your engagement in play and all you can say is "we already only have a few toys, keeping them on the balcony is way better than those suggestions, he's 10000% normal and rested and tired and developmentally appropriate"
so why post about it if you're sure you're right about all?
Folks have mentioned safety issues if he's moving furniture that has not been mounted, suggested a million things, asked questions about your engagement in play and all you can say is "we already only have a few toys, keeping them on the balcony is way better than those suggestions, he's 10000% normal and rested and tired and developmentally appropriate"
so why post about it if you're sure you're right about all?
Anonymous
01/17/2018 14:45
Subject: Re:I took away all my sons toys.
OP, does your son have a chance to get out and burn energy? My son (who is now 3) would have played this way when he was younger if he had a lot of pent-up energy. Even if its cold you have to get out...either outside or somewhere inside where he can run around and play.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 14:09
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I dont think the not playing with toys thing is not that unusual. My kid might occupy himself with a toy dump truck for a minute but he VASTLY prefers playing with things that arent toys like brooms, kitchen cooking utensils (like spatulas etc), measuring tapes etc. He likes to move around the kitchen chairs and big boxes of diapers also. When he was 1 year old he entertained himself for 30 min pushing his stroller around. It's just a matter of what interests him.
He has been evaluated by EI b/c he had a speech delay but I've been repeatedly told there's no other developmental concerns AT ALL (nor do I believe there are).
It is a red flag. You can say it is not concerning, but that simply does not make it so.
A red flag for what? Except for his speech delay (which he's almost now fully caught up with), my son is considered 100% developmentally appropriate by all the professionals we've encountered via EI, so I'm going to go by their opinion rather than your armchair analysis.
Not playing appropriately with toys is a red flag for ASD and cognitive issues. Also, nobody is diagnosing your child with anything - nor can EI, btw - so I have no idea what you are prattling on about. But as you know, kids with a delay in one area sufficient enough to get speech through EI - which requires a major delay - are more likely than other children to have LDs, etc. down the road. I don't care to debate this in regards to your child; we are talking in generalities, obviously.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 13:25
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I dont think the not playing with toys thing is not that unusual. My kid might occupy himself with a toy dump truck for a minute but he VASTLY prefers playing with things that arent toys like brooms, kitchen cooking utensils (like spatulas etc), measuring tapes etc. He likes to move around the kitchen chairs and big boxes of diapers also. When he was 1 year old he entertained himself for 30 min pushing his stroller around. It's just a matter of what interests him.
He has been evaluated by EI b/c he had a speech delay but I've been repeatedly told there's no other developmental concerns AT ALL (nor do I believe there are).
It is a red flag. You can say it is not concerning, but that simply does not make it so.
A red flag for what? Except for his speech delay (which he's almost now fully caught up with), my son is considered 100% developmentally appropriate by all the professionals we've encountered via EI, so I'm going to go by their opinion rather than your armchair analysis.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 12:41
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Please don't have any more children OP
Anonymous
01/17/2018 12:35
Subject: Re:I took away all my sons toys.
OP, a couple people have asked—and I don’t think you’ve answered—if you’re actively engaging in play with him?
Honestly, that’s the easiest / simplest answer, so I would start there. I’ve spent 15+ years working in early childhood, and what you describe sounds like a curious and bored toddler begging for attention and stimulation.
I’ll tell you what I’ve done in the classroom, and with my own almost-2 year old.
First, I limit what’s out at any one time. 10 Duplos instead of 100. Rotate. Offer opportunity to fill and dump, but keep it to a limit i can handle. Tell him “I won’t let you throw the block.” And then block him, put up the block, say, “I can’t you throw the blocks, time to pick a safer choice,” and redirect, redirect, redirect. Hands on is the only way.
I let him do things himself as much as possible—choose a bib, pick a fork, “sweep” and “wipe” messes, get his shoes, feed the cats, etc.
When he dumps the dinosaurs, I say, “wow, look at all the dinosaurs—let me find the T. Rex, it has short arms—here it is—T. Rex!” Then when he moves on, I say, “are you all done? Let’s pick up the dinosaurs!” And then you model, model, model. We used a couple big spoons to scoop dinosaurs into their bucket. Make clean up part of the game. He goes around every night returning toys to their homes and telling them night-night.
Honestly, that’s the easiest / simplest answer, so I would start there. I’ve spent 15+ years working in early childhood, and what you describe sounds like a curious and bored toddler begging for attention and stimulation.
I’ll tell you what I’ve done in the classroom, and with my own almost-2 year old.
First, I limit what’s out at any one time. 10 Duplos instead of 100. Rotate. Offer opportunity to fill and dump, but keep it to a limit i can handle. Tell him “I won’t let you throw the block.” And then block him, put up the block, say, “I can’t you throw the blocks, time to pick a safer choice,” and redirect, redirect, redirect. Hands on is the only way.
I let him do things himself as much as possible—choose a bib, pick a fork, “sweep” and “wipe” messes, get his shoes, feed the cats, etc.
When he dumps the dinosaurs, I say, “wow, look at all the dinosaurs—let me find the T. Rex, it has short arms—here it is—T. Rex!” Then when he moves on, I say, “are you all done? Let’s pick up the dinosaurs!” And then you model, model, model. We used a couple big spoons to scoop dinosaurs into their bucket. Make clean up part of the game. He goes around every night returning toys to their homes and telling them night-night.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 12:30
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:I dont think the not playing with toys thing is not that unusual. My kid might occupy himself with a toy dump truck for a minute but he VASTLY prefers playing with things that arent toys like brooms, kitchen cooking utensils (like spatulas etc), measuring tapes etc. He likes to move around the kitchen chairs and big boxes of diapers also. When he was 1 year old he entertained himself for 30 min pushing his stroller around. It's just a matter of what interests him.
He has been evaluated by EI b/c he had a speech delay but I've been repeatedly told there's no other developmental concerns AT ALL (nor do I believe there are).
It is a red flag. You can say it is not concerning, but that simply does not make it so.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 12:03
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
I dont think the not playing with toys thing is not that unusual. My kid might occupy himself with a toy dump truck for a minute but he VASTLY prefers playing with things that arent toys like brooms, kitchen cooking utensils (like spatulas etc), measuring tapes etc. He likes to move around the kitchen chairs and big boxes of diapers also. When he was 1 year old he entertained himself for 30 min pushing his stroller around. It's just a matter of what interests him.
He has been evaluated by EI b/c he had a speech delay but I've been repeatedly told there's no other developmental concerns AT ALL (nor do I believe there are).
He has been evaluated by EI b/c he had a speech delay but I've been repeatedly told there's no other developmental concerns AT ALL (nor do I believe there are).
Anonymous
01/17/2018 11:40
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
what happens if you were to give him 1 toy and demonstrate how to play with it?
Are you engaging him in play? does he play with other children in the park?
Are you engaging him in play? does he play with other children in the park?
Anonymous
01/17/2018 11:18
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have 2 boys (4 yo and 2 yo) and this is definitely not normal. They do get a bit "crazy" sometimes (especially before nap/sleep times or if the weather is bad and they haven't had a chance to run around outside) but I wouldn't tolerate that at all. Sometimes we don't let them play with toys but tell them to climb instead. We don't have a TV or couch set up in the house because we took over the living room to have a climbing dome.
It's your job to give each toy a home. It's your job to tell your boy that he needs to put the thing he's playing with back in the box/shelf before he can have the next thing. Each book back on the shelf before getting the next one. We started this at 1 year old. It was a lot of work, and we needed to reinforce it often (and still now) but so much better than the alternative.
And yes, it also sounds like you have too much crap laying around. We pack away toys and only have a few out for choice at any time.
Every now and then, I need to take away toys, if they aren't being played with carefully. It happens very rarely though. They've never thrown a toy at me, that's outrageous. They'd be straight to the naughty mat long before they did that.
Oh, and you should also think about the toys you have. We don't have any plastic crap. A couple of nice vehicles with many moving parts (that they're careful with), but mostly building things, puzzles, books, stuff like that. Stuff that it's obvious how to play with it. And then we show them the right way to play with stuff.
Op here: He doesn't really play with any toys. He goes around dumping or throwing his toys. I try to make him pick up the toys after he dumps them but he doesn't get it. He runs away laughing at me. He's been rearranging the furniture now that he doesn't have toys. I went to the bathroom and came back to find a heavy shelf was in the middle of the living room!
This is what OP describes. It sounds concerning. He is not purposefully moving furniture or playing appropriately with anything.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 10:34
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:My just turned two year old knows to help me put away her duplos after she's done playing with them. But then just. can't. help. but dump the bucket back out. You can try giving/making specific dumping activity toys, but it's just so much fun for them (same with knocking towers over, it's a developmental thing) that I don't even try to stop her.
As for the throwing, I would say, "no throwing or the [block/book/car] will go away." Then if he throws, it goes away. He screams and tantrums and you calmly say, "the car went away because you threw it. You can't throw toys." Next time he may look at you and do it intentionally to test (mine likes to look around for me, say "no no, mommy, no throwing", then throw and wait for my reaction). You give the exact same consequence and stay calm during the resulting meltdown. For my kid, rarely does it happen again (for a while at least) after that.
This. My just turned 2 year old is the same. He started throwing a few months ago, but we were pretty strict (along the lines described above). It still happens from time to time, but not as much, and we still take the toy away and say no throwing. FWIW, we moved away from the "we only throw balls" line, because I don't want him throwing balls in the house either (I mean, how do you distinguish between a soft blow up ball and a wooden ball at that age), so we say "no throwing in the house."
As for the two many toys issue, I FEEL YOU. We got inundated by the grandparents over xmas. I took most of the gifts and put them away...maybe we'll bring them out over the course of the year on a rainy day. We also don't have a lot of room for toy rotation, but I am going to take a few of the duplo sets he got and putting them either away or in another play area, because he looooooves to "DUMP!" and it takes too damn long to clean up each dump. That sounds bad, but you know what I mean.
I think too many toys for a toddler causes them to be unable to play with any of them (other than the dump of course)
Anonymous
01/17/2018 10:15
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
My just turned two year old knows to help me put away her duplos after she's done playing with them. But then just. can't. help. but dump the bucket back out. You can try giving/making specific dumping activity toys, but it's just so much fun for them (same with knocking towers over, it's a developmental thing) that I don't even try to stop her.
As for the throwing, I would say, "no throwing or the [block/book/car] will go away." Then if he throws, it goes away. He screams and tantrums and you calmly say, "the car went away because you threw it. You can't throw toys." Next time he may look at you and do it intentionally to test (mine likes to look around for me, say "no no, mommy, no throwing", then throw and wait for my reaction). You give the exact same consequence and stay calm during the resulting meltdown. For my kid, rarely does it happen again (for a while at least) after that.
As for the throwing, I would say, "no throwing or the [block/book/car] will go away." Then if he throws, it goes away. He screams and tantrums and you calmly say, "the car went away because you threw it. You can't throw toys." Next time he may look at you and do it intentionally to test (mine likes to look around for me, say "no no, mommy, no throwing", then throw and wait for my reaction). You give the exact same consequence and stay calm during the resulting meltdown. For my kid, rarely does it happen again (for a while at least) after that.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 10:03
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:Sorry all but dragging out the furniture isn’t normal and is a behavior often seen in autistic kids. I would get an eval.
What? My not quite two year old knows to push a dining room chair to the cupboard because that is where the snacks are. Or he'll push it to the fridge because he knows that's where his yogurt is. He's smart (though obviously potentially dangerous) he knows where the thing is that he wants and doesn't bother asking for it yet because he can reach it himself if he's smart about it. I still consider this rearranging furniture, though with a purpose in mind. Is what I'm describing different than the red flag you note with OPs child? If so, how?
Anonymous
01/17/2018 09:27
Subject: I took away all my sons toys.
Sorry all but dragging out the furniture isn’t normal and is a behavior often seen in autistic kids. I would get an eval.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 09:00
Subject: Re:I took away all my sons toys.
Anonymous wrote:My two year old would never throw anything at me. I have drilled that into her. A swift no and then tell him " we only throw balls". The dumping drives me nuts but that is the nature of two year olds.
Yup--I take away toys for throwing, but...little kids (boys AND girls) make a mess when they play. We just made sure that she helped pick up toys at the end of the day.