Anonymous
01/05/2018 00:16
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone, we dated, married, and now have another kid. My children from marriage 1 love their stepdad, they get to see a loving and respectful relationship modeled every day (a far cry from what is modeled in XH’s home), and are happy kids.
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
Nah, sounds like she's banging him too. Don't be mad because everyone else is winning.
pp here: Totally still banging him. 6 years of terrible sex in marriage #1 and all the fun I had post divorce helped me realize that I needed a man who had good equipment and was adventurous. Wouldn't have settled for less
.
And I love the assumption that I was looking for someone to support me. I out-earn him, by a lot, probably always will, so... (remember that part where I said I have a good career?)
Perhaps he saw an attractive woman who was ambitious with a solid career, a loving mother with an adorable family, and a variety of interests and hobbies, and thought she was intriguing. Sounds like a sucker to me. *sarcasm*
Anonymous
01/04/2018 21:06
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am super liberal in every other way, but when it comes to divorced parents with children dating I am 100% with Dr. Laura Schlesinger on this. She tells people not to date until your kids are grown. Your kids don’t need a step parent or step siblings or a new half sibling when they’ve already experienced the trauma and loss of their family.
When my husband walked out, I was still breastfeeding my son. So I stay chaste for 18 years while my X builds a life with his mistress. Awesome. This makes total sense.
They would say it's your fault for not choosing a better spouse and now you deserve what you get.
I don't even think they know how they sound.
It has zero whatsoever to do with who is at fault. It’s not punishment. It’s about putting your children ahead of yourself and your dating life.
This is such utter inane bullshit. My dad started dating my stepmom when I was a preschooler and they've been together now for almost thirty years. My life is so much better and richer with her in it, not least of all because she complements my dad so well. I can't imagine growing up without her.
+1
Anonymous
01/04/2018 20:38
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am super liberal in every other way, but when it comes to divorced parents with children dating I am 100% with Dr. Laura Schlesinger on this. She tells people not to date until your kids are grown. Your kids don’t need a step parent or step siblings or a new half sibling when they’ve already experienced the trauma and loss of their family.
When my husband walked out, I was still breastfeeding my son. So I stay chaste for 18 years while my X builds a life with his mistress. Awesome. This makes total sense.
They would say it's your fault for not choosing a better spouse and now you deserve what you get.
I don't even think they know how they sound.
It has zero whatsoever to do with who is at fault. It’s not punishment. It’s about putting your children ahead of yourself and your dating life.
This is such utter inane bullshit. My dad started dating my stepmom when I was a preschooler and they've been together now for almost thirty years. My life is so much better and richer with her in it, not least of all because she complements my dad so well. I can't imagine growing up without her.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 20:36
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am super liberal in every other way, but when it comes to divorced parents with children dating I am 100% with Dr. Laura Schlesinger on this. She tells people not to date until your kids are grown. Your kids don’t need a step parent or step siblings or a new half sibling when they’ve already experienced the trauma and loss of their family.
Whatever - blanket rules are not appropriate or helpful. Every divorce is different. Widowhood is different. "Dr. Laura" makes money to give advice in a way that matches her conservative worldview -- that's gives her no credit.
You shouldn't start to date until you've got your own shit together for yourself and your kids -- including an understanding of your own baggage. (Frankly, for some people, this means they shouldn't date again, ever.) But when you're ready, and if you want to, date. And if you find someone that will make a good life partner, partner up.
I separated from my XH when I was about 34. I didn't date for quite awhile. And guess what - I'm pretty, confident, fun, and fat (think the slim version of Melissa McCarthy.) I didn't have any trouble getting dates. Also, don't discount the career angle. I have a very good career and that matters/ed to the former and current boyfriend. I think quality men look at the career angle because most aren't interested in someone that they have to take care of financially. My boyfriend/life partner and I have now been together for 4.5 years. We live together but are choosing not to get married at this time -- primarily because we'd get killed on taxes. Neither of us wants anymore kids and our kids get along great. Everyone -- especially my children -- are better off seeing a strong, loving relationship and having all the additional love in their lives from my BF's family. The kids' dad is - from what I can tell - happier as well. Remarried and has a kid that my kids adore.
So no, you don't have to martyr yourself after a divorce.
I love this.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 20:11
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
This story would be impressive if pp was divorced at 38 and not 28. Much easier to date and find a guy when you are in your late 20ties and early 30ties and many more single, childless, never married men too.
+1
Yes. It makes a difference. But when you have kids, it tends to scare away men who don't have kids yet.
Looks matter too. I know divorced women with 3 kids in their twenties who have no problem at all finding men to date. All pretty and slim. The guy may not want to marry them but find them very f able.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 20:06
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
This story would be impressive if pp was divorced at 38 and not 28. Much easier to date and find a guy when you are in your late 20ties and early 30ties and many more single, childless, never married men too.
+1
Yes. It makes a difference. But when you have kids, it tends to scare away men who don't have kids yet.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 20:00
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
Nah, sounds like she's banging him too. Don't be mad because everyone else is winning.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 19:44
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
This story would be impressive if pp was divorced at 38 and not 28. Much easier to date and find a guy when you are in your late 20ties and early 30ties and many more single, childless, never married men too.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 19:30
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
We can use some of your seasoning in the cooking forum. Cause you salty.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 19:27
Subject: Re:Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:I was divorced at 28 with three kids. I had a blast dating, always kept my dating life and home life separated. I dated a wide range from five years younger than me to 20 years older. Men pursued me, and I was quite happy to maintain my singledom. I figured that I had had my kids, I had a good career, and I enjoyed being single.
While traveling solo I met an incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. I friend zoned him immediately because he had never been married, had no kids. As friends we developed an amazing connection, he convinced me that he didn’t want to be in the friend zone
Married a woman older than him with three kids, sucker. "incredible man, tall, kind, smart, handsome, great job, two years younger than I am. Friend-zoned him.........amazing connection" translates to i found a safe provider after I had the men I wanted to b.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 19:12
Subject: Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on an individual woman. Attractive, low-drama women have a better chance at remarrying.
Please share more about your definition of “low-drama”. What does that mean to you?
Under the hot/crazy line.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 19:06
Subject: Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on an individual woman. Attractive, low-drama women have a better chance at remarrying.
LOL if they were attractive and low-drama, they wouldn't be divorced in the first place.
I don’t know. The divorced woman I am dating is attractive and no drama. She’s divorced because her ex turned into a drunk and a loser. And she stuck in there for years to no avail.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 18:18
Subject: Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:It depends on an individual woman. Attractive, low-drama women have a better chance at remarrying.
LOL if they were attractive and low-drama, they wouldn't be divorced in the first place.
Anonymous
01/04/2018 18:12
Subject: Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
Anonymous wrote:It depends on an individual woman. Attractive, low-drama women have a better chance at remarrying.
Please share more about your definition of “low-drama”. What does that mean to you?
Anonymous
01/04/2018 14:21
Subject: Do mid 30s divorced women with children have any hope of finding someone in their age bracket?
It depends on an individual woman. Attractive, low-drama women have a better chance at remarrying.