Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of dying. But it's worse losing a loved one. It's unbearable...like looking into the abyss.

Yes. Me too. This year, I held my mother's hand as she died after the briefest but most painful illness I can imagine. There is nothing mystical about it though. It was biology. It was the most awful moment of my life, and it didn't feel like a transition. It felt like the end. Months later, it still feels like the end.

There doesn't seem to be any movie kind of closure are there. There's so much that she is going to miss and that we are going to miss without her. After my mom's death, I became convinced there is no afterlife. Which is fine with me, for me.

But, facing the ear revocable loss of someone I love, yeah. The abyss is a good word PP.

To become convinced there is no afterlife requires as much faith as believing there is an afterlife. Without some kind of unscientific faith there is simply no way of knowing until after we die. I am a scientifically minded and educated type person and I believe in the afterlife. My reasoning is similar to scientists who believe in life on other planets. If the universe is so immense , there must be more out there than just lonely little earth. By the same type of intuition the strangeness and complexity of our existence and still the feeling that there must be more than this. There is something inside all of us that is not satisfied in this life. If there is not more it feels empty and pointless. I am a believer in Christ but even if I weren't the intuition and gut feeling is that our purpose and eternal destiny is determined by love and loyalty which are forces beyond time, space, matter and physical laws.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of dying. But it's worse losing a loved one. It's unbearable...like looking into the abyss.

Yes. Me too. This year, I held my mother's hand as she died after the briefest but most painful illness I can imagine. There is nothing mystical about it though. It was biology. It was the most awful moment of my life, and it didn't feel like a transition. It felt like the end. Months later, it still feels like the end.

There doesn't seem to be any movie kind of closure are there. There's so much that she is going to miss and that we are going to miss without her. After my mom's death, I became convinced there is no afterlife. Which is fine with me, for me.

But, facing the ear revocable loss of someone I love, yeah. The abyss is a good word PP.

I am sorry for your loss.
pp.

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of dying. But it's worse losing a loved one. It's unbearable...like looking into the abyss.

Yes. Me too. This year, I held my mother's hand as she died after the briefest but most painful illness I can imagine. There is nothing mystical about it though. It was biology. It was the most awful moment of my life, and it didn't feel like a transition. It felt like the end. Months later, it still feels like the end.

There doesn't seem to be any movie kind of closure are there. There's so much that she is going to miss and that we are going to miss without her. After my mom's death, I became convinced there is no afterlife. Which is fine with me, for me.

But, facing the ear revocable loss of someone I love, yeah. The abyss is a good word PP.

I'm afraid of dying. But it's worse losing a loved one. It's unbearable...like looking into the abyss.

I do not fear death in + in itself.

I just fear that getting there could be quite scary and painful.

Like the people who all die in plane crashes.

Those last few moments when you know you are going to suffer must be so terrifying.

I came close to death, and the doctors thought I wasn't going to make it. While I was lying in the ICU I wasn't afraid to die, though. Instead I was thinking about how my son would grow up without a mom, and how I felt cheated that I wouldn't be there for him. I was angry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stage IV breast cancer, which means terminal. I'm in my e early 40's. I watched my mom,die of this disease 2 years before I was diagnosed. I think her death process scared me, but also gave me a a strange comfort that we are not alone when we cross over. I'm absolutely terrified of leaving my kids behind, especially with mom gone as well.
I had a very vivid dream of my uncle coming to get my mom. I have never had that dream before or since. He hugged me in the dream and never spoke but gave me the sense someone was waiting for me too. And not to be afraid. I read a quote by the actor Rainn Wilson once "We don't know what is after death just like a baby doesn't know what is after birth. Why do we always asume it's a horrible thing?"

I'm the Hospice Minister PP. I'm really sorry you got such a shitty diagnosis. My best friend died of inflammatory breast cancer several years ago. One piece of unsolicited advice. Listen to the diagnosis. Ignore the prognosis. You didn't arrive on Earth with an expiration date. Doctors can make educated guesses about how long a patient will survive, but they are very often wrong. My friend was given four months. She lived 18 months, most of them healthy and relatively pain free. We have patients given six months who live years. It's not false hope. There is always hope.

If I've learned anything in my work at Hospice, it's that death is like birth. It's a transition. I've seen more than proof that we go on after this body dies.

I love this, Thank you PP.

Me, too. Thank you Hospice Minister. I also have stage IV cancer and I am absolutely terrified of death. There are too many books to read, too many people I love, and too many places yet to visit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have stage IV breast cancer, which means terminal. I'm in my e early 40's. I watched my mom,die of this disease 2 years before I was diagnosed. I think her death process scared me, but also gave me a a strange comfort that we are not alone when we cross over. I'm absolutely terrified of leaving my kids behind, especially with mom gone as well.
I had a very vivid dream of my uncle coming to get my mom. I have never had that dream before or since. He hugged me in the dream and never spoke but gave me the sense someone was waiting for me too. And not to be afraid. I read a quote by the actor Rainn Wilson once "We don't know what is after death just like a baby doesn't know what is after birth. Why do we always asume it's a horrible thing?"

I'm the Hospice Minister PP. I'm really sorry you got such a shitty diagnosis. My best friend died of inflammatory breast cancer several years ago. One piece of unsolicited advice. Listen to the diagnosis. Ignore the prognosis. You didn't arrive on Earth with an expiration date. Doctors can make educated guesses about how long a patient will survive, but they are very often wrong. My friend was given four months. She lived 18 months, most of them healthy and relatively pain free. We have patients given six months who live years. It's not false hope. There is always hope.

If I've learned anything in my work at Hospice, it's that death is like birth. It's a transition. I've seen more than proof that we go on after this body dies.

I love this, Thank you PP.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a Hospice Minister and spend time with dying people nearly every day. I've had the sacred honor of being present at more deaths than I could count. I love my life. I love my family. I hope I get to hang out here on Earth for a long time. But I don't fear death at all. I became a hospice minister after a near death experience. That has a lot to do with the lack of fear.

PP, if you're willing to share I would love to hear about your NDE! I've done a lot of reading on this topic, and find it fascinating.

Death cafes are a great place to talk about this too.

^^
the vast majority of Joe Blows are too proud to honestly admit they aren't good the odds the Hitler , Stalin or an aborted baby parts seller honesty break down and beg Jesus for forgiveness are lower than powerball. If it did happen I would marvel at Gods infinite mercy.

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Anonymous wrote:There is a heaven and there is a hell. The only way to heaven is through Jesus. If people didn't fear death they wouldn't freak out and call 911 so frantically during a heart attack.

You evangelicals are so weird

We got nothing to lose

You got everything to lose.

all Jews
All Christians
All Islamists

Believe in heaven and hell. I think everybody feels it in their gut. Some probably never take it seriously until they are dying. The good news is in Christianity you can be saved even on your deathbed in the blink of an eye .

Which seems a bit of a cop-out, really. You can live a vile and depraved life and repent 30 seconds before death and be saved, whereas someone else who was a good person but didn't accept Jesus goes to hell? No thanks.

And while I can't speak for Islam, Judaism does not really preach that there's a hell the way Christianity does. Maybe some mystical texts but it's not at all part of the day to day religious or quotidian teachings. It certainly was never mentioned in my Hebrew school nor, in over 30 years of attending services, have I ever heard it mentioned. Judaism focuses on how to live your life in accordance with the Torah, but not from fear of hell.

Not a cop out at all. Christianity is the understanding that all people are inherently selfish/hypocritical and not worthy of coexisting with perfect love. Heaven isn't for good people since none exist. Heaven is for forgiven people. Most people don't have the guts to admit that they think of themselves and their interests first and foremost and are not good. If you can admit you're a sack of crap even on your deathbed , believe in the savior and honestly ask to be washed clean by his blood you will be with Christ the moment you die. It's the deal of the universe and why anybody wouldn't take it is beyond me.

So you'd be cool with Hitler or Stalin in heaven if they relented at the last moment? I just can't get behind that. I think the life you lead and your actual deeds are more important than your beliefs and words.

+1. Also what if I can admit I'm a selfish piece of crap on my deathbed and ask for the forgiveness of humanity so the only part I'm missing is the savior belief bit. Hitler still gets in ahead of me?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a heaven and there is a hell. The only way to heaven is through Jesus. If people didn't fear death they wouldn't freak out and call 911 so frantically during a heart attack.

You evangelicals are so weird

We got nothing to lose

You got everything to lose.

all Jews
All Christians
All Islamists

Believe in heaven and hell. I think everybody feels it in their gut. Some probably never take it seriously until they are dying. The good news is in Christianity you can be saved even on your deathbed in the blink of an eye .

Which seems a bit of a cop-out, really. You can live a vile and depraved life and repent 30 seconds before death and be saved, whereas someone else who was a good person but didn't accept Jesus goes to hell? No thanks.

And while I can't speak for Islam, Judaism does not really preach that there's a hell the way Christianity does. Maybe some mystical texts but it's not at all part of the day to day religious or quotidian teachings. It certainly was never mentioned in my Hebrew school nor, in over 30 years of attending services, have I ever heard it mentioned. Judaism focuses on how to live your life in accordance with the Torah, but not from fear of hell.

Not a cop out at all. Christianity is the understanding that all people are inherently selfish/hypocritical and not worthy of coexisting with perfect love. Heaven isn't for good people since none exist. Heaven is for forgiven people. Most people don't have the guts to admit that they think of themselves and their interests first and foremost and are not good. If you can admit you're a sack of crap even on your deathbed , believe in the savior and honestly ask to be washed clean by his blood you will be with Christ the moment you die. It's the deal of the universe and why anybody wouldn't take it is beyond me.

So you'd be cool with Hitler or Stalin in heaven if they relented at the last moment? I just can't get behind that. I think the life you lead and your actual deeds are more important than your beliefs and words.

As a 43 year old mother with young kids? Absolutely. Recently went for a biopsy and still awaiting results. Yes, I'm terrified. If I were single and childless, I don't think I would be nearly as scared.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a heaven and there is a hell. The only way to heaven is through Jesus. If people didn't fear death they wouldn't freak out and call 911 so frantically during a heart attack.

You evangelicals are so weird

We got nothing to lose

You got everything to lose.

all Jews
All Christians
All Islamists

Believe in heaven and hell. I think everybody feels it in their gut. Some probably never take it seriously until they are dying. The good news is in Christianity you can be saved even on your deathbed in the blink of an eye .

Which seems a bit of a cop-out, really. You can live a vile and depraved life and repent 30 seconds before death and be saved, whereas someone else who was a good person but didn't accept Jesus goes to hell? No thanks.

And while I can't speak for Islam, Judaism does not really preach that there's a hell the way Christianity does. Maybe some mystical texts but it's not at all part of the day to day religious or quotidian teachings. It certainly was never mentioned in my Hebrew school nor, in over 30 years of attending services, have I ever heard it mentioned. Judaism focuses on how to live your life in accordance with the Torah, but not from fear of hell.

Not a cop out at all. Christianity is the understanding that all people are inherently selfish/hypocritical and not worthy of coexisting with perfect love. Heaven isn't for good people since none exist. Heaven is for forgiven people. Most people don't have the guts to admit that they think of themselves and their interests first and foremost and are not good. If you can admit you're a sack of crap even on your deathbed , believe in the savior and honestly ask to be washed clean by his blood you will be with Christ the moment you die. It's the deal of the universe and why anybody wouldn't take it is beyond me.