Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:48
Subject: This is shade, right?
Even the IT people in my fed office don’t dress so casually. If you insist that it is within your dress code, that’s fine, but you should be aware that people ARE judging and WILL use that against you if you compete for a higher-level role. Personally, my upward mobility is more important than being “cute” at work. And I’m 30.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:43
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
OP herself said the woman works in her same office and is older than (and likely has been there longer than) OP, so I'm not sure why you believe OP knows the dress code better than she does. Additionally, every other Fed that has responded to the thread has also expressed that OP was not dressed appropriately, same as the initial coworker. The only people acting like this is appropriate office attire are stipulating that they work in tech startups on the West Coast, which means they are working from entirely different culture and expectations.
OP is dressed inappropriately and was rude to her coworker.
I believe OP is a grownup with a job, who didn't turn to her coworker to ask for advice re: her jeans but rather stated that her outfit was squarely within her understanding of the agency's dress code. The person in the elevator decided that she had better insight into that dress code than the OP herself. We have no way of knowing if that person is correct or not. For all anyone knows she's one of the countless misguided but stubborn people in the beauty forum advising that any true lady would never wear a skirt without hose.
Anyway, I don't care about this that much. I just really object to the idea that OP is under any obligation to respond to that person in the elevator in any way other than she did.
Re-read the OP. That's not what happened. She didn't say anything at all to her coworker, she shook her head and walked away. Nothing about OP's behavior, as described in her initial post or as evidenced in her replies, says "grownup with a job." Not responding to direct questions from coworkers, dressing inappropriately at work, insisting that her too-casual outfit is "cute," calling anyone who disagrees a "hater"? No.
OP is not obligated to behave politely or professionally at work. But she still should.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:43
Subject: This is shade, right?
Which agency? Ours specifically prohibits ripped jeans. You're dressed inappropriately. (and I wear jeans to work a lot!)
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:41
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
OP herself said the woman works in her same office and is older than (and likely has been there longer than) OP, so I'm not sure why you believe OP knows the dress code better than she does. Additionally, every other Fed that has responded to the thread has also expressed that OP was not dressed appropriately, same as the initial coworker. The only people acting like this is appropriate office attire are stipulating that they work in tech startups on the West Coast, which means they are working from entirely different culture and expectations.
OP is dressed inappropriately and was rude to her coworker.
I believe OP is a grownup with a job, who didn't turn to her coworker to ask for advice re: her jeans but rather stated that her outfit was squarely within her understanding of the agency's dress code. The person in the elevator decided that she had better insight into that dress code than the OP herself. We have no way of knowing if that person is correct or not. For all anyone knows she's one of the countless misguided but stubborn people in the beauty forum advising that any true lady would never wear a skirt without hose.
Anyway, I don't care about this that much. I just really object to the idea that OP is under any obligation to respond to that person in the elevator in any way other than she did.
DP. I think this is much worse than whatever OP was wearing and whether is was appropriate office attire.
If you think OP's response to a question was proper, then I hope you don't work in my office, where we use common courtesy and speak to each other.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:39
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
OP herself said the woman works in her same office and is older than (and likely has been there longer than) OP, so I'm not sure why you believe OP knows the dress code better than she does. Additionally, every other Fed that has responded to the thread has also expressed that OP was not dressed appropriately, same as the initial coworker. The only people acting like this is appropriate office attire are stipulating that they work in tech startups on the West Coast, which means they are working from entirely different culture and expectations.
OP is dressed inappropriately and was rude to her coworker.
I believe OP is a grownup with a job, who didn't turn to her coworker to ask for advice re: her jeans but rather stated that her outfit was squarely within her understanding of the agency's dress code. The person in the elevator decided that she had better insight into that dress code than the OP herself. We have no way of knowing if that person is correct or not. For all anyone knows she's one of the countless misguided but stubborn people in the beauty forum advising that any true lady would never wear a skirt without hose.
Anyway, I don't care about this that much. I just really object to the idea that OP is under any obligation to respond to that person in the elevator in any way other than she did.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:35
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Is "shade" some hipster word that a geezer like me doesn't understand in its new hipster meaning?
OP doesn't understand the meaning either, at least you aren't embarrassing yourself by trying to use it anyway.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:34
Subject: This is shade, right?
Is "shade" some hipster word that a geezer like me doesn't understand in its new hipster meaning?
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:33
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
OP herself said the woman works in her same office and is older than (and likely has been there longer than) OP, so I'm not sure why you believe OP knows the dress code better than she does. Additionally, every other Fed that has responded to the thread has also expressed that OP was not dressed appropriately, same as the initial coworker. The only people acting like this is appropriate office attire are stipulating that they work in tech startups on the West Coast, which means they are working from entirely different culture and expectations.
OP is dressed inappropriately and was rude to her coworker.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:31
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
Since both OP and the other person in the elevator both work at the same agency, they probably both know the dress code. And by OP's own post, she seems to know that she's really pushing it.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:30
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:You were incredibly rude, OP. When someone asks you a question, you answer, and when you feel it comes with judgement, you are allowed to be short instead of courteous. But failing to answer and shaking your head is grossly offensive.
This person really wants to confirm which office, even if she previously thought you both worked for the same office, because she can't believe that they would let you wear that crap to work. Yes, she's judging, but she also asked you a question and you need to answer.
You do not come to work with ripped jeans.
You do not walk in the corridors with ear buds.
You answer questions.
You say please and thank you.
Where on earth do you come from that you don't know these basic social skills?
So it's rude not to answer:
Why did you choose that ugly hair style?
How did you get so fat?
I don't think so. Not every question requires a response. If you're rude to me, you'll be ignored.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:28
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
I was responding to the description of ripped jeans as "slovenly." They are not necessarily slovenly in the way you seem to be suggesting.
I worked in a newsroom for many years where jeans, with holes, wouldn't have been looked at twice. I imagine that OP probably knows her agency's dress code better than anyone else does, including that person in the elevator who decided that she was being paid to police other people's clothing choices.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:26
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Headphones walking around the office? Ripped jeans? Noooooo.
And I'm under 35, if it matters.
You literally described half my office, but we are tech focused so probably more of a "if you do the job you can where what the hell you want" vibe
My brother in law works for a tech firm in Seattle. They have people who wear pajama pants to work. They have a guy who wears a wizard hat on a daily basis. That is a bit much for DC, no?
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:22
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She was rude but so were you. You don't have to get into it in detail, but you could have just responded, "this outfit is within my office's approved dress code." Not responding was unprofessional.
She wasn't rude. She asked a question and may have been hinting that OP needs to bring it up a notch.
which...is really rude. is she op's supervisor? if not, then butt the hell out.
Coworkers can help each other to know who to do and not to do at work. Older coworkers can give younger coworker advice. It's how offices work.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:21
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Shade AF. She's jealous. Hater.
Haha, you made me laugh, PP.
Thanks!
My dress is not unusual for where I work. I do not expect everyone to agree, though. I wanted to know if you all thought she was being a low-key biotch.
Serious question: why do you dress so slovenly at your office?
There are $400 ripped jeans for sale in the department stores that DCUMmies in the beauty and fashion forum go crazy for. My most fashionable cousin - who is extremely wealthy - wore such jeans to our last Passover seder.
And there are certainly $4000 ball gowns for sale that are gorgeous and timeless. Doesn't make them work appropriate. Most dress codes aren't just a minimum dollar amount to be spent on each piece of clothing.
Anonymous
11/30/2017 12:20
Subject: This is shade, right?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You were incredibly rude, OP. When someone asks you a question, you answer, and when you feel it comes with judgement, you are allowed to be short instead of courteous. But failing to answer and shaking your head is grossly offensive.
This person really wants to confirm which office, even if she previously thought you both worked for the same office, because she can't believe that they would let you wear that crap to work. Yes, she's judging, but she also asked you a question and you need to answer.
You do not come to work with ripped jeans.
You do not walk in the corridors with ear buds.
You answer questions.
You say please and thank you.
Where on earth do you come from that you don't know these basic social skills?
Are you f*cking kidding me? What is this, a kindergartener who has to be respectful to teacher?
This person in the elevator decided to police OP's clothes out of being a nosy busybody. OP is under no obligation to entertain that.
DP. Kindergartners are supposed to be respectful to kindergartners. So are coworkers.
No way. OP is under no obligation to entertain someone's rude questions.