Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

100% this.

OP, it sucks to be excluded, but the reality is that not every guest list can accommodate every person that your child is friends with.

In an adult example of the situation, a woman who is a really good friend did not invite me to her wedding. We had been close for about 6 months before the wedding occurred. Wedding was not small and people we were friends with (who had been friends with her longer than I had) were invited. Instead of distancing myself from my friend or talking about her behind her back, I congratulated her on getting married, asked if I could take her and her DH out for drinks to celebrate with them when they got back from honeymoon, and moved on with my life.

I would definitely not create a scene over this, but this would say volumes about what I and my friendship meant to this woman. And that would be, she does not value it. Friendship is a 2 way road and all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

100% this.

OP, it sucks to be excluded, but the reality is that not every guest list can accommodate every person that your child is friends with.

In an adult example of the situation, a woman who is a really good friend did not invite me to her wedding. We had been close for about 6 months before the wedding occurred. Wedding was not small and people we were friends with (who had been friends with her longer than I had) were invited. Instead of distancing myself from my friend or talking about her behind her back, I congratulated her on getting married, asked if I could take her and her DH out for drinks to celebrate with them when they got back from honeymoon, and moved on with my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

100% this.

OP, it sucks to be excluded, but the reality is that not every guest list can accommodate every person that your child is friends with.

In an adult example of the situation, a woman who is a really good friend did not invite me to her wedding. We had been close for about 6 months before the wedding occurred. Wedding was not small and people we were friends with (who had been friends with her longer than I had) were invited. Instead of distancing myself from my friend or talking about her behind her back, I congratulated her on getting married, asked if I could take her and her DH out for drinks to celebrate with them when they got back from honeymoon, and moved on with my life.

I would definitely not create a scene over this, but this would say volumes about what I and my friendship meant to this woman. And that would be, she does not value it. Friendship is a 2 way road and all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

100% this.

OP, it sucks to be excluded, but the reality is that not every guest list can accommodate every person that your child is friends with.

In an adult example of the situation, a woman who is a really good friend did not invite me to her wedding. We had been close for about 6 months before the wedding occurred. Wedding was not small and people we were friends with (who had been friends with her longer than I had) were invited. Instead of distancing myself from my friend or talking about her behind her back, I congratulated her on getting married, asked if I could take her and her DH out for drinks to celebrate with them when they got back from honeymoon, and moved on with my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

100% this.

OP, it sucks to be excluded, but the reality is that not every guest list can accommodate every person that your child is friends with.

In an adult example of the situation, a woman who is a really good friend did not invite me to her wedding. We had been close for about 6 months before the wedding occurred. Wedding was not small and people we were friends with (who had been friends with her longer than I had) were invited. Instead of distancing myself from my friend or talking about her behind her back, I congratulated her on getting married, asked if I could take her and her DH out for drinks to celebrate with them when they got back from honeymoon, and moved on with my life.

Anonymous wrote:People are allowed to throw the parties they want for their kids, in whatever manner and style they wish, with the guest list they choose. What is with this entitlement of my kid should be invited to every party? It's utter crap and contributes to all the candy-ass kids falling apart when the least thing doesn't go their way as adults. Sure, it sucks not to be invited but THAT'S LIFE.

As adults do we invite every adult we know? Nope. How did we learn to survive the blow? By experiencing it in childhood in the safety of our parents' care when they could explain to us that not everyone gets invited to everything.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter just turned 10 years old we threw an all bells and whistles party for her. We normal do smaller parties, but since she turned 10 we decided to celebrate at a very expensive venue followed by dinner at her favorite restaurant, a sleep over and a great goody bag. The only rules were: You can only invite 8 girls and one of them must be your cousin (who she would have picked anyway). We budgeted for 10 girls because we knew she would beg for 1 or 2 other ones and she did. The cost per kid is over $150, so 10 was the absolute max. She invited her cousin, her 2 closest friends from the competitive sport team she's been playing for, 3 friends from school, 3 neighborhood friends, and a girl she's been friends with since they were little. She could have invited 10 other girls who she still considers close to her, but we set a max. In the neighborhood my daughter plays with 4 girls. She is close with 2 of them and we have all been neighbors for 5 years. The other girl's family moved to the neighborhood about a year ago. My daughter plays with the girl outside but she's not particularly close with her, and she was not one of the girls she invited. One of my neighbors, who is friends with the new girl's parents told me that the girl's mother told her that my daughter was excluding her daughter and that I should have made her invite her so she wouldn't have felt left out. Then the other day, a neighborhood child told my daughter that his mother said that it wasn't nice to leave (little girl's name) out. Now, my daughter has many close friends she would have also liked to invite (before neighbor), it just wasn't possible. But I'm annoyed this lady is going around saying that we are excluding her child. My daughter doesn't get invited to all birthdays, it is normal, isn't it?

Anonymous wrote:At age 10 there is no requirement to invite anyone in the neighborhood who a child may play with. That's absurd. At that age you invite your friends. not acquantances. The other mom is the one who is wrong here. She 1) needs to grow a thicker skin and 2) so she does not invite this child to her child's party (and I would not expect her to anyway). Posters says OP is wrong are deranged.

Anonymous wrote:
1. You did nothing wrong. Please do not apologize or justify yourself to anyone.

2. You can do better next time.
What I do is customize the party to the circle of friends involved (mine, or my husband's, or the friends of our children, family, etc). This means that I do not separate friends or family members of equal importance who are part of the same social group because it inevitably leads to resentment. If my budget cannot accommodate that group, then I scale back the party rather than separate the group. It is always better to be socially sensitive, rather than focus too much on planning the perfect party!

Anonymous wrote:

2. You can do better next time.
If my budget cannot accommodate that group, then I scale back the party rather than separate the group. It is always better to be socially sensitive, rather than focus too much on planning the perfect party!