Women are not visual? Keep telling yourself that as you polish off the Krispy Kremes.

Yes, we love muscles. I would much rather lean up against a nice tight stomach than one laden with rolls (just like a man would). I think both partners have a responsibility to keep it tight, especially if that was important to you when you first got married. And, as we age, there are certain things that will go by the wayside like hair loss, wrinkles, etc. Those are natural. But there is no need to let go of your fitness, cash it in, and expect to get the same admiration and sex drive from your partner. You can control your fitness...make it a priority and you will see the payoff. I promise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wondered why some shirtless, muscular hunk was on the cover of EVERY romance novel ever.

Little known fact: these guys emotionally connect through their nipples.

It's more likely that they have an intimidatingly long/thick way of connecting.

Anonymous wrote:Hmm. I wondered why some shirtless, muscular hunk was on the cover of EVERY romance novel ever.

Little known fact: these guys emotionally connect through their nipples.

Hmm. I wondered why some shirtless, muscular hunk was on the cover of EVERY romance novel ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my house, sex happens when my wife feels sexy. I was in much better shape in my 30s and no sex because kids were little. Now, decent sex life because she works out and isn't exhausted

Point being, it's almost never about what he is doing it's about her.

"Things fat weak husbands too lazy to get their asses to the gym say"

Not true. Women need an emotional connection. I read it here.

Sure they do. But they already have an emotional connection. Now his body is signaling it has more testosterone with the visible muscles and that's attractive to women on a basic animalistic level. So she's more attracted to him. Could also be that she's less tired and that her sex drive kicked in due to age.

PP you are replying to, and of course, all things being equal, a better body on a man will be a plus. But in my experience, you are going to get laid more as a heavy guy if married to a woman with a high sex drive than an in-shape guy married to a woman with a low sex drive. It's her that is the gatekeeper.

It doesn't matter the sex drive.

Women won't have sex with somebody they resent or is a jerk. Which is why pouting over not getting sex gets you less sex.

The 1st Viagra for women study failed because they did not screen for men that were jerks. Basically, no pill in the world will make a women have sex with a jerk. The emotional connection breaks down with resentment... Like being gone every frickin Saturday morning leaving mom as a single mom after an intense workweek.

Once the study got rid of men that were jerks they could do a study to see if sex drive increased with drugs.

Wait, what? Women have sex with jerks all the time, it's just usually in their 20s and before marriage.

+1 women of ALL ages (including, yes, single moms, cheating wives, etc.) still have sex with jerks all the time. I am genuinely trying to understand what the women mean despite what they are saying re: jerks and getting laid.

it’s primal.

Men, not sure what you are debating - this is simple:

Most women have responsive desire. She is going to be more turned on by the charming if somewhat overweight and balding new guy over her more fit but known husband. It's newness at that point.

Women are visual of course but not to the degree as men. Most women are repulsed by Paulie D even though he has all the muscles you could ask for. It's not about the body but of course all else being equal, women prefer a good body.

After high school, assholes don't really get laid. There is a difference between confidence and cockiness. It's the confidence that women swoon over.

Confident, flirty, funny, well-dressed is the key. Not the muscles but of course those don't hurt.

Enjoy the attention and keep up the good work, OP.

I love my H character, but I also LOVE his muscles. There is nothing wrong with saying that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't matter the sex drive.

Women won't have sex with somebody they resent or is a jerk. Which is why pouting over not getting sex gets you less sex.

The 1st Viagra for women study failed because they did not screen for men that were jerks. Basically, no pill in the world will make a women have sex with a jerk. The emotional connection breaks down with resentment... Like being gone every frickin Saturday morning leaving mom as a single mom after an intense workweek.

Once the study got rid of men that were jerks they could do a study to see if sex drive increased with drugs.

explain then why women continue to sleep with the self-centered narcissists despite knowing they're narcissist assholes? is it that these assholes somehow have a deep emotional connection with the women they're sleeping with?

NP The point being that guys, seeing what they see, think women aren't being honest and accurate when they talk about the need for an emotional connection before they want to have sex with a guy. I believe many women would like sexual attraction to be based on admirable qualities. But that doesn't seem to be how it works. In fact, to some extent, the reverse may be true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my house, sex happens when my wife feels sexy. I was in much better shape in my 30s and no sex because kids were little. Now, decent sex life because she works out and isn't exhausted

Point being, it's almost never about what he is doing it's about her.

"Things fat weak husbands too lazy to get their asses to the gym say"

Not true. Women need an emotional connection. I read it here.

Sure they do. But they already have an emotional connection. Now his body is signaling it has more testosterone with the visible muscles and that's attractive to women on a basic animalistic level. So she's more attracted to him. Could also be that she's less tired and that her sex drive kicked in due to age.

PP you are replying to, and of course, all things being equal, a better body on a man will be a plus. But in my experience, you are going to get laid more as a heavy guy if married to a woman with a high sex drive than an in-shape guy married to a woman with a low sex drive. It's her that is the gatekeeper.

It doesn't matter the sex drive.

Women won't have sex with somebody they resent or is a jerk. Which is why pouting over not getting sex gets you less sex.

The 1st Viagra for women study failed because they did not screen for men that were jerks. Basically, no pill in the world will make a women have sex with a jerk. The emotional connection breaks down with resentment... Like being gone every frickin Saturday morning leaving mom as a single mom after an intense workweek.

Once the study got rid of men that were jerks they could do a study to see if sex drive increased with drugs.

Wait, what? Women have sex with jerks all the time, it's just usually in their 20s and before marriage.

+1 women of ALL ages (including, yes, single moms, cheating wives, etc.) still have sex with jerks all the time. I am genuinely trying to understand what the women mean despite what they are saying re: jerks and getting laid.

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn't matter the sex drive.

Women won't have sex with somebody they resent or is a jerk. Which is why pouting over not getting sex gets you less sex.

The 1st Viagra for women study failed because they did not screen for men that were jerks. Basically, no pill in the world will make a women have sex with a jerk. The emotional connection breaks down with resentment... Like being gone every frickin Saturday morning leaving mom as a single mom after an intense workweek.

Once the study got rid of men that were jerks they could do a study to see if sex drive increased with drugs.

explain then why women continue to sleep with the self-centered narcissists despite knowing they're narcissist assholes? is it that these assholes somehow have a deep emotional connection with the women they're sleeping with?

Anonymous wrote:Here 59. 5' 9" 155 pounds. Male. Active in and outside the bedroom. Always thought of myself in good shape as I am a runner and sometimes bike. Lean, thin, athletic, but never considered myself "scrawny". So does it make a difference to women how in shape you are, whether you are a runner, or whether you go to the gym for weights to try to sculpt that six pack.

OP here. I was always fit too. As in, I could get top 10 in several of the 80 mile + bike racing events I was doing. However, that is not a sexy kind of "fit". If you want to know what a sexy kind of fit is, go look at the covers of your wifes romance novels: Lots of upper body muscle, six packs, etc.

mmmm muscles

Here 59. 5' 9" 155 pounds. Male. Active in and outside the bedroom. Always thought of myself in good shape as I am a runner and sometimes bike. Lean, thin, athletic, but never considered myself "scrawny". So does it make a difference to women how in shape you are, whether you are a runner, or whether you go to the gym for weights to try to sculpt that six pack.

good for you op, enjoy it
I have always been very fit, DW says it doesn't matter and women aren't visual so muscles doesn't equal more sex for everybody, maybe since your appearance changed its like finding a new man to her.

OP here with an update. She's working a lot harder in the bedroom too. I had to stop her a few times last night to keep from ending the fun too soon. It woke the kid up though. I think we're going to have to find a new time.