Anonymous wrote:I just don't feel comfortable knowing that my life is made entirely possible by someone else's largesse. I've always felt this way, even as a child when I realized some moms don't work outside the home. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

Anonymous wrote:Every once in a while, I read threads like this and I feel like taking my husband up on his offer for me to stay home.

And then I think of all the former stay-at-home moms I know who got divorced, often not due to their own choice, and are now in very tough positions. I also think of those I know who are still married and miserable and trapped. I also know a couple whose husbands lost their jobs and who are now in very bad economic situations. In case it is not obvious, I am from an area with very privileged stay-at-home moms. Seeing what happens to the majority keeps me working.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

But you are the one posting like it actually happened to you. We both work and split schedule as well as have SACC and have no problems managing our kids transport. We do have SAHM falling over themselves to give us rides and play dates, but we don't take them up that often and are careful to reciprocate. But all the working parents I know have SACC or the like so not even sure where your kid and their kid would be collocated for a pickup? I think you are making that's up.

You do know that PP doesn't know you and wasn't posting about you, right? And that your particular situation has nothing to do with the situations of so many other WOHMs that she actually does know? Sounds like she touched a nerve.

I asked where she lived. Never heard of such a thing, really can’t even see how it could happen.

Nerve? What does that even mean? Like I actually have asked a SAHM for a favor or something? Again, losticially that would be MORE work for me, working parents have to have their sh*t together, so it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe she lives in a depressed neighborhood and her working class neighbors need some help bc their boss pulled them in for a second shift and they are in a bind, but talking bad about someone in that situation would be gauche.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

DP. You sound extremely defensive. Why is that?

And btw, I don't think PP is the same as the top PP. At any rate, who are you to doubt the top PP's experience? And "as for all over this website," that comment is true. All one has to do is read some of the repulsive posts criticizing SAHMs and calling them any number of names. So, please. Don't pretend that isn't true.

I have never experienced judgment in real life. But the trope about WOHM asking for rides from SAHM PP is making up, bc where would their kids even be in the same place to BE picked up?? WOHM needs a ride everyday, going to go round robin thru her neighborhood SAHM?? That doesn’t happen. Totally made up.

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Anonymous wrote:Okay op - tell us, how do you fill your days? (plus what is your highest educational degree level, if at all?)

Not OP, but this was my day today:

I’m a SAHM with a SAC

Got DD to the bus at 8:30. Came home, made beds and tidied up, and then went for a run. Got back, showered, sat down to have coffee and breakfast and catch up on some news and check emails, etc.

Turned on a podcast and cleaned the bathrooms. Put away some laundry. After that, I drove to pick up something I bought on a mom2mom site, went to the post office to throw some cards in the mail, then went to Costco.

Came home, put away the things from Costco, and then ate lunch. After lunch, I went outside and cleaned up some yard debris for garbage day tomorrow. I came inside, put on another podcast and prepped a casserole for dinner. I then cleaned the kitchen.

Next, I sat down to watch a 30min episode of a Netflix show, and then left for school pickup at 3:45.

I have a BA and I’m happier at home than I ever was at work. I’m never bored. I find ways to fill my day. Sometimes with mundane tasks, always with exercise, and always with either a book or some other literature, or interesting podcast.

I am beginning to understand why 30 years of this would make someone has unintelligent as my MIL. You are just taking up space.

I find it fascinating that anyone not interested in SAHMs would even click on a thread specifically addressing SAHMs. Don't you? Kind of makes you look... unintelligent, which is unsurprising.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

But you are the one posting like it actually happened to you. We both work and split schedule as well as have SACC and have no problems managing our kids transport. We do have SAHM falling over themselves to give us rides and play dates, but we don't take them up that often and are careful to reciprocate. But all the working parents I know have SACC or the like so not even sure where your kid and their kid would be collocated for a pickup? I think you are making that's up.

You do know that PP doesn't know you and wasn't posting about you, right? And that your particular situation has nothing to do with the situations of so many other WOHMs that she actually does know? Sounds like she touched a nerve.

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Anonymous wrote:Okay op - tell us, how do you fill your days? (plus what is your highest educational degree level, if at all?)

Not OP, but this was my day today:

I’m a SAHM with a SAC

Got DD to the bus at 8:30. Came home, made beds and tidied up, and then went for a run. Got back, showered, sat down to have coffee and breakfast and catch up on some news and check emails, etc.

Turned on a podcast and cleaned the bathrooms. Put away some laundry. After that, I drove to pick up something I bought on a mom2mom site, went to the post office to throw some cards in the mail, then went to Costco.

Came home, put away the things from Costco, and then ate lunch. After lunch, I went outside and cleaned up some yard debris for garbage day tomorrow. I came inside, put on another podcast and prepped a casserole for dinner. I then cleaned the kitchen.

Next, I sat down to watch a 30min episode of a Netflix show, and then left for school pickup at 3:45.

I have a BA and I’m happier at home than I ever was at work. I’m never bored. I find ways to fill my day. Sometimes with mundane tasks, always with exercise, and always with either a book or some other literature, or interesting podcast.

I am beginning to understand why 30 years of this would make someone has unintelligent as my MIL. You are just taking up space.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

DP. You sound extremely defensive. Why is that?

And btw, I don't think PP is the same as the top PP. At any rate, who are you to doubt the top PP's experience? And "as for all over this website," that comment is true. All one has to do is read some of the repulsive posts criticizing SAHMs and calling them any number of names. So, please. Don't pretend that isn't true.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

But you are the one posting like it actually happened to you. We both work and split schedule as well as have SACC and have no problems managing our kids transport. We do have SAHM falling over themselves to give us rides and play dates, but we don't take them up that often and are careful to reciprocate. But all the working parents I know have SACC or the like so not even sure where your kid and their kid would be collocated for a pickup? I think you are making that's up.

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Anonymous wrote:I just don't feel comfortable knowing that my life is made entirely possible by someone else's largesse. I've always felt this way, even as a child when I realized some moms don't work outside the home. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

I've been married 30 years and have been at home all but about six of them. DH and I are both 50. I feel 100% comfortable knowing my life is made entirely possible by my DH's income. He would tell you that his life is made 100% possible by me managing our home. So it works out well in our family.

But if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you should definitely continue working.

Fantastic answer and 100% true. I worked for 11 years and have been fortunate enough to be home for 12. I just laugh at the simpletons who can't grasp that marriage is a team effort, not an exercise in bean counting. My husband is my biggest champion, and I am his - no matter which way our "division of duties" is divvied up.

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Anonymous wrote:2 graduate degrees, education & biology.. Worked 15 years, stayed home with my kids for the past 12 years. I love being SAHM and I am definitely not bored. My husband (and children) appreciate my efforts. I am very creative and love to cook, and do many things DH doesn't particularly like to do, like plan vacations. I spend my time raising (and enjoying) my children and buidling a strong relationship with DH. The only thing I don't like is some of the working moms., particularly those that have asked me to pick-up their kids and then insinuate that I am lazy or stupid for being a SAHM.

Where do you live that the working moms don't have childcare already lined up and judge you like that? Not our experience at all in Arlington.

I mean, it's all over this website.

You are not helping you case for intellectual prowess by offering 'I heard it on DCUM so it must be true' as your defense BTW.

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Anonymous wrote:I just don't feel comfortable knowing that my life is made entirely possible by someone else's largesse. I've always felt this way, even as a child when I realized some moms don't work outside the home. It's an uncomfortable feeling.

I've been married 30 years and have been at home all but about six of them. DH and I are both 50. I feel 100% comfortable knowing my life is made entirely possible by my DH's income. He would tell you that his life is made 100% possible by me managing our home. So it works out well in our family.

But if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you should definitely continue working.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not bored at all. I was bored at work, not at home.