Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 09:29     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of these things are superficial. Being kind, employed, good company, and attractive to you--that's a better foundation for a relationship. I think your list is part of the problem.


Op here. I do want a kind, respectful, and loyal man, but I also want a guy who makes comparable to my salary. I came from a poor and then middle income family growing up. My family was once homeless when I was about 7 years old, and lived in a poverty stricken area. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I want better for my future children.


How on earth does someone with your background end up a conservative? That just doesn't track.



Are you kidding? Poor republicans who vote for politicians that vote away all the programs in their best interests. This is classic red state deception built on racism. It's perfectly aligned.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 09:20     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:All of these things are superficial. Being kind, employed, good company, and attractive to you--that's a better foundation for a relationship. I think your list is part of the problem.


+1.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 09:16     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of these things are superficial. Being kind, employed, good company, and attractive to you--that's a better foundation for a relationship. I think your list is part of the problem.


Op here. I do want a kind, respectful, and loyal man, but I also want a guy who makes comparable to my salary. I came from a poor and then middle income family growing up. My family was once homeless when I was about 7 years old, and lived in a poverty stricken area. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I want better for my future children.


How on earth does someone with your background end up a conservative? That just doesn't track.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 09:14     Subject: Settling at 32.
NP here. OP, I have two kids, a great guy who satisfies everything I ever wanted (except for tall, which trust me is not worth it compared to things on the list like responsible, smart, funny, loves his good job with a good salary, etc, shares my values).

Kids are really really hard. If I had to do it again, I'd think much more critically about having kids. Not to say that you shouldn't have kids but honestly, don't make yourself unhappy just to have them because they will wear you down. Without a great relationship to have them in, you'd be much much better off enjoying your career and doing other things.

Just my two cents.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 08:39     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:You broke up with this guy because you didn't see a future with him and now you want to have a child with him?

Forgive my harshness Op, but that is just plain stupid!

A child is forever as is your connection to the other parent. That means once you get over your baby panic and have a baby you will remember all the reasons you didn't want to be with this guy long-term only then you'll have a child with him and you can't make in clean break. You'll either have to go through a divorce and put your kid through a divorce or stay stuck in a miserable marriage.

You're 32 not old at all. Stop reading redpill sites and panic button women's magazines. They re not benefiting you in any way.

Go to a therapist. Yes you need one. Commit to going at least 6 months.
Then looking into dating but change the way you date after 6 months of therapy you shoulf have some insight into why you choose dead in relationships.



32 is old if you want children. Quit listening to people who make it seem easy to get pregnant in your late 30s and 40s. They are not disclosing the multiple miscarages and IVF treatment.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 07:16     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah some of your list is fairly superficial. My friends with lists like that are single.


Yep, everyone I know with lists is 40 and alone. People and relationships are way to complicated for these kind of constraints.


In fairness to OP, someone asked her for a list.


Most people who obsesses about 'settling' have a list. When I break up with someone I do it b/c I don't feel in love anymore and I don't wonder if the next partner will be better or worse in comparison. You date someone and see how it goes.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 07:14     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of these things are superficial. Being kind, employed, good company, and attractive to you--that's a better foundation for a relationship. I think your list is part of the problem.


Op here. I do want a kind, respectful, and loyal man, but I also want a guy who makes comparable to my salary. I came from a poor and then middle income family growing up. My family was once homeless when I was about 7 years old, and lived in a poverty stricken area. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I want better for my future children.



So make your own damn money. Don't be financially dependent on anyone else. I grew up with a single mom and that's what I learned from that situation. Easy come, easy go.


She makes plenty of money so seems unlikely she will end up paycheck to paycheck unless dead set on SAHM.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2017 07:00     Subject: Settling at 32.
1. My DH has a nicely trimmed beard. He isn't a hipster or outdoorsy. My Dad has a beard. It doesn't confuse me sexually.

2. For sure find someone with "Republican values" like knocking up his mistress then telling her to abort. Good times.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 23:45     Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
My main guess is op isn’t as cute as what she says she is



Picky women usually aren't as attractive as they think they are.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 23:43     Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote: Go on dates but don't put a lot of stake in them. View each date as a way to make a new friend.


Please don't

Sincerely,
Men
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 23:04     Subject: Settling at 32.
Single women that adopt are just “moms” in my book, not “single moms”
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 23:03     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for you if you would make such a bad decision because you can’t be alone.


Op here. You don't know me to be making that assumption. I spent a good 5 years being single in my 20's. I dated around but didn't date anyone for more than a couple of months. I am more than fine being alone, but the reality is my time for children is decreasing, and I definitely want a family. I don't want to be 40 and never have a child.


A couple of options:
1. Marry the guy and have a baby but have a marriage that's meh.
2. Wait a few more years and hope to meet the right guy.
3. If you don't meet the right guy, have a baby and be a single mom. That's probably better than marrying a guy you're not really in love with.


Do not do this.



Why not?


Trap some guy for child support and have custody battles?


The "do not do this" seems to refer to becoming a single mom.

I never found a husband, but adopted a kid. It's a different kind of life fulfillment.


That’s different. I don’t consider you a “single mom” in that sense. Thank you for opening your home to a child that needed one.

Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 23:01     Subject: Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for you if you would make such a bad decision because you can’t be alone.


Op here. You don't know me to be making that assumption. I spent a good 5 years being single in my 20's. I dated around but didn't date anyone for more than a couple of months. I am more than fine being alone, but the reality is my time for children is decreasing, and I definitely want a family. I don't want to be 40 and never have a child.


A couple of options:
1. Marry the guy and have a baby but have a marriage that's meh.
2. Wait a few more years and hope to meet the right guy.
3. If you don't meet the right guy, have a baby and be a single mom. That's probably better than marrying a guy you're not really in love with.


Do not do this.



Why not?


Trap some guy for child support and have custody battles?


The "do not do this" seems to refer to becoming a single mom.

I never found a husband, but adopted a kid. It's a different kind of life fulfillment.
Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 22:59     Subject: Re:Settling at 32.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't get why me not liking facial hair makes me a troll. Don't we all have some pet peeve or trivial dealbreaker? Mine is unkempt facial hair and smoking. I make $200,000 gross a year. I want a guy who makes at least $80,000 a year. I can be lenient about politics but do think it's important to have similiar views on it. I am very short and do not that much about the height thing. I am only attracted to white men. I don't think I'm too picky.


I usually flame people like op and laugh at her but honestly her list isn’t bad

In fact I’m really surprised she’s willing to date guys making less than 50% of what she’s making

You are very short - a spinner? You should be having men all over you

What’s your definition of white? Are Slavs/poles white or do you mean just primarily Germanic/north west euro ancestry?

My main guess is op isn’t as cute as what she says she is

Anonymous
Post 10/07/2017 22:50     Subject: Settling at 32.
Op - what’s your occupation/field?