Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:27     Subject: Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:I agree OP (though I think you meant to say infidelity, not infertility!).

Anyway, I did see myself in the article. I won't cheat, though, I'm just not that kind of person. It's hard being the default parent/housekeeper and maintaining attraction to my husband, who is a good person and who I love. I do often think about leaving once the kids are up and out.


So you just finished saying your husband is a good man, and you love him but you want to leave when the kids are out.

Selfish entitled women. This is why relationships fail. I hope he stuck you with a prenup so you dont steal half his equity and life savings after you betray this good man.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:25     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


My parents have been married 39 years years and they are crazy about each other. There is no doubt in my mid that they are still physically attracted to one another! A lot of their friends who have been married 30 plus years are the same way so there is hope. My parents have a winter home in Florida and my Dad retired a few years ago because he really hated being away from my mother even though he liked his job. When they are apart for more than a few days they are miserable. I love it!


Don't be certain. My parents have been married for well over 50 years and they have both cheated. They do love each other. I can tell they are physically attracted to each other (especially my mom to my dad). They really LIKE each other. They still have sex. But the cheating can happen nevertheless.


What's the big flaw in your parent's marriage that led both of them to cheat if they love each other, LIKE each other and are physically attracted to each other? It has to something more than it can just happen.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:23     Subject: Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
This is one of the most interesting articles on infertility I've read . I was wondering how many DCUMers recognize themselves in this article ?


The changing reasons why women cheat on their husbands - CNN
https://apple.news/AO9JydUJNTGmVGevgnO6t6g


When my kids leave for college I am dumping my husband, I think he knows that is my plan. He is a great dad and a good husband, but I have convinced myself there is more out there for me.


So are you going to have affairs while you run out the clock?
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:15     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


My H and I have been married 15 years and together for 20. He's my best friend and still my favorite person to shoot the shit with. He's an amazing dad. He pulls his weight around the house and then some. We have great, satisfying sex (he's very generous in bed - I always have 2 orgasms to his one). We have a very happy life and I have no complaints about him as a person or partner. To the contrary, I often wonder what the heck he sees in ME.

But look, I'm happily married, not dead. I have eyes in my head, I see attractive men on the street. I remember how thrilling it was to fall in love with someone new. If I have complaints, it's with the idea that ONE person is supposed to be able to meet ALL of your emotional, sexual, and oractical needs for 50 years or more.

I think what I have now is as good as it gets. But our relationship lacks the excitement it once had in the beginning. When we have sex, it's more to connect emotionally or to scratch a physical itch, not because I can't keep my hands off him. I remember feeling that way. I don't anymore, even with all the good stuff I mentioned. And yeah I'll be honest, I miss feeling the kind of lust that makes you crazy, that makes you feel like you're high on good drugs. It's sad to think I'll never feel that way again. I didn't realize it would eventually fade away almost completely.

However I do agree that it's unrealistic to expect to feel those butterflies after 20 years together. I still feel them occasionally, in certain situations (usually spontaneous) but not often.



I sometimes feel the same way as you, and I've been married much longer, but when I realize how rich my life is with my DH those thoughts quickly disappear. So I think about spicing up our sex life which is already pretty darn good.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:13     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


My parents have been married 39 years years and they are crazy about each other. There is no doubt in my mid that they are still physically attracted to one another! A lot of their friends who have been married 30 plus years are the same way so there is hope. My parents have a winter home in Florida and my Dad retired a few years ago because he really hated being away from my mother even though he liked his job. When they are apart for more than a few days they are miserable. I love it!


Don't be certain. My parents have been married for well over 50 years and they have both cheated. They do love each other. I can tell they are physically attracted to each other (especially my mom to my dad). They really LIKE each other. They still have sex. But the cheating can happen nevertheless.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 13:06     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


My H and I have been married 15 years and together for 20. He's my best friend and still my favorite person to shoot the shit with. He's an amazing dad. He pulls his weight around the house and then some. We have great, satisfying sex (he's very generous in bed - I always have 2 orgasms to his one). We have a very happy life and I have no complaints about him as a person or partner. To the contrary, I often wonder what the heck he sees in ME.

But look, I'm happily married, not dead. I have eyes in my head, I see attractive men on the street. I remember how thrilling it was to fall in love with someone new. If I have complaints, it's with the idea that ONE person is supposed to be able to meet ALL of your emotional, sexual, and oractical needs for 50 years or more.

I think what I have now is as good as it gets. But our relationship lacks the excitement it once had in the beginning. When we have sex, it's more to connect emotionally or to scratch a physical itch, not because I can't keep my hands off him. I remember feeling that way. I don't anymore, even with all the good stuff I mentioned. And yeah I'll be honest, I miss feeling the kind of lust that makes you crazy, that makes you feel like you're high on good drugs. It's sad to think I'll never feel that way again. I didn't realize it would eventually fade away almost completely.

However I do agree that it's unrealistic to expect to feel those butterflies after 20 years together. I still feel them occasionally, in certain situations (usually spontaneous) but not often.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:57     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
"But often," she went on, "it can feel like my husband and I are running a family corporation together and that our emotional intimacy consists of gossiping about our friends and watching Game of Thrones.


This is my marriage. I have not cheated, and neither has my husband as far as I know. But sometimes, you get caught up watching a romantic comedy and you wonder what happened to your relationship and you start to miss those butterflies. And like the article alludes to, maybe that's not realistic but it doesn't mean we don't still want it and may not seek it out.


THIS!!!!!!!!! I think this is SO common.

How can this be fixed though?? (not through an affair)


I agree it is common. But it can be fixed! My DH is not a touchy feely handholding guy (I am!) but he always finds a way to say the right thing, hug me at the right time, give me a squeeze or simply do something that increases my pulse. And its not just when he wants sex! We've been married a long time and he wasn't that way early on but over time he figured it out. If you start doing that with your SO you might find some of the romance comes back.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:46     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


My parents have been married 39 years years and they are crazy about each other. There is no doubt in my mid that they are still physically attracted to one another! A lot of their friends who have been married 30 plus years are the same way so there is hope. My parents have a winter home in Florida and my Dad retired a few years ago because he really hated being away from my mother even though he liked his job. When they are apart for more than a few days they are miserable. I love it!
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:41     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:
"But often," she went on, "it can feel like my husband and I are running a family corporation together and that our emotional intimacy consists of gossiping about our friends and watching Game of Thrones.


This is my marriage. I have not cheated, and neither has my husband as far as I know. But sometimes, you get caught up watching a romantic comedy and you wonder what happened to your relationship and you start to miss those butterflies. And like the article alludes to, maybe that's not realistic but it doesn't mean we don't still want it and may not seek it out.


THIS!!!!!!!!! I think this is SO common.

How can this be fixed though?? (not through an affair)
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:29     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Not a surprise. At all.

If you count inappropriate emails, texts, emotions along with actual sex, infidelity rates are likely 80%+.

The reason female infidelity has risen but male hasn't is because men have always wanted to cheat and tried to in large numbers but the supply of women willing to sleep with them was low. I bet the increase in female cheating means some men sleep with many married women. I have. But you have to invest a big emotional component, it's a big deal for most women, whereas men can compartmentalize better.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:16     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:Stumbled on this forum when I saw this article on my phone and googled it to see the comments. The sense of entitlement and the weak justifications to cheat is incredible. Not that I am surprised but some of you on here are extremely selfish and have no morals. Exact reason why I will never marry, no reason to financially link yourself to someone who may cheat on you because you don't do enough chores or some other lame excuse. It is a little saddening because I would really like children but could not imagine how crushed I would be finding this out in a marriage.


Nailed it. Welcome to DCUM
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:14     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


You only you. Oh and the other 60%.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:12     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Stumbled on this forum when I saw this article on my phone and googled it to see the comments. The sense of entitlement and the weak justifications to cheat is incredible. Not that I am surprised but some of you on here are extremely selfish and have no morals. Exact reason why I will never marry, no reason to financially link yourself to someone who may cheat on you because you don't do enough chores or some other lame excuse. It is a little saddening because I would really like children but could not imagine how crushed I would be finding this out in a marriage.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:07     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%

Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


Nah, you are not the only ones. My parents have been happily married for 40 years. I think their expectations are different - although my mom WOH it was part-time and it was always settled between them that she would have more responsibility for the household, kids, etc. Worked for them, would not work for me.
Anonymous
Post 10/05/2017 12:03     Subject: Re:Number of women who cheat on their husbands had increased by 40%
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel like my DH and I are the only ones with a long (30 years), happy marriage. It makes me sad. We have so many friends who have divorced. I have no desire at all to cheat.


I'm guessing your husband knows how to satisfy you, and does it.