Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here--my kid really wants to have a sleep over. Instead, I am invited a handful of kids for a "sleep under". This was a totally awful move done by the girlfriend who knows we are in a highly contentious divorce/custody. She was even the one who drove around hand delivering the invites.

That weird and as a parent, I would say no too the invite due to the aggressive delivery manner by a stranger. If I knew you as Larlo's mom but some random woman shows up with a party invite and insists she knows Larlo's dad - I am not even likely to believe its a legit invite and I am very certain to decline as the whole situation is too weird and I would not be comfortable dropping my child off for the party or hanging around. So just because she delivered the invites doesn't mean people will end up bringing their kids to the party.

I agree.

Another mom with elementary kids.

Your ex is a dick. His girlfriend is an idiot if she doesn't realize he is using her. Not to worry--she'll get it when he moves onto the next girl after the party is over. And he will.

I'd go to the party for the sake of my kids. And just to relish in the fact that you are making it more awkward for your ex, his gf and her family. Stay for awhile, do nothing but pay attention to your kids and let them do ALL the work.

When is your kids' birthday? Could you maybe have a Halloween party instead?

I am so sorry for you and your kid. Your STBX and his girlfriend are ASSHOLES who clearly do not have your daughter's best interest in mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son gets 2 birthday parties this year. That's the only solution. Invite your family and DSs friends to a party at your house.

Don't go to your Exs girlfriend's house. WTF?!!

How old is your kid?

I would send an invite soon.

I'd go just to annoy them. Get yourself a new outfit, get your hair done, etc. And, smile the entire time.

This. Bring someone with you.
Hugs. Just keep being a good parent.

Wow this is such a tough situation coming out of a separation. I would look my best, invite a friend and put a huge smile on for the kids. This is a win-win-win. Most importantly, kids will be relaxed and happy, you come out as the bigger person, and dick head STBX/gf look like assholes.

My idiot sperm donor did this when divorcing my mom. My mom responded by accepting the invite and then bringing about 15 uninvited people with her without warning. She basically co-opted his plans and he had no choice but to go along with it or have a fit in front of everyone. It was great.

Your ex is petty trash (his girlfriend is not the one who is trash because she would not be able to do any of this without his permission and egging her on). Don't worry, if he keeps on going this way, you will not have to do a thing in retaliation. He will undermine his own relationship with your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email back and say, thanks for the invitation. I'd like to do a party at Pump it up for Larla's school and other friends since this sounds like a party mainly for your and girlfriend's families. What day is most convent for you or would you prefer I hold it on my own for her friends? Your girlfriend is welcome to come.

OP here--they went ahead and sent invites to my kid's friends already. So while I am going to have another party, some of the people are going to be caught in this mess and get invited twice.

Then invite like 3-4 friends and do a small sleepover or something.

Go to the party, smile big, stay for cake and then duck out.

Be the bigger person.

And then hit him with the girlfriend shit in court, ad ask for a clause that new girlfriends aren't to be introduced until dating after a year. (It's not enforceable, but the judge will NOT be impressed by his idiotic behavior)

Anonymous wrote:OP here--my kid really wants to have a sleep over. Instead, I am invited a handful of kids for a "sleep under". This was a totally awful move done by the girlfriend who knows we are in a highly contentious divorce/custody. She was even the one who drove around hand delivering the invites.

That weird and as a parent, I would say no too the invite due to the aggressive delivery manner by a stranger. If I knew you as Larlo's mom but some random woman shows up with a party invite and insists she knows Larlo's dad - I am not even likely to believe its a legit invite and I am very certain to decline as the whole situation is too weird and I would not be comfortable dropping my child off for the party or hanging around. So just because she delivered the invites doesn't mean people will end up bringing their kids to the party.

She's not family. She doesn't get to pose as such. The child is little. Mom and Dad plus friends. Girlfriend can be the third wheel if you can stand it. That's what I would do. Then call the attorney and suggest that ass needs to provide a parenting coordinator on his dime.

Yep no real man, father moves some twit into the step mama role like that and tries to trump the mama position with a tramp of the week. Idiot.

Don't host a second party. IF you are mentally and emotionally able to, attend the party with a sibling of yours or a good (drama free) friend. Be a guest, enjoy the party and make sure your kid has a great time.

Also work it out where you two alternate parties each year.

Sorry you are going through this, I KNOW it is hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the lawyer responding above about your custody case. I would not engage in a battle involving your child's friends/families by holding a second party this year. You attend, support your child, and, yes, this is an element in your case if you are seeking to show his incapacity to co-parent effectively and respectfully. Again, it is not itself abusive behavior, but if there is a pattern of this, collect your evidence. Ignore the GF. Your behavior will be under a microscope. Everything must be done to promote your child's interests, not your feelings or wish for revenge or such.

Lots of kids have two parties, a family party and a friends party. OP should have her party as she wants and let Dad have his party. She should support his party as he should hers.

But he has already invited all the friends.

So sorry OP, I would just attend his and let it go this year.

As far as having your own party for him this year I would just do something very small...either out somewhere with 1-3 of his friends (or just the two of you) or a sleepover at your house, again 1-3 friends. Keep it small and intimate...no gifts...unless one of those kids couldn't make it to Dad's party and wants to bring something. Your son will appreciate that you came to Dad's and did this for him, as well. Don't do 2 big parties...his and yours. This will just send your son the wrong message and in years to come just spoil him...he will expect it every year. Plus it makes it really uncomfortable for his friends and their parents to be invited into your divorce. Keep them out of it.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a messy situation with your soon-to-be EX. I remember going through my divorce and the firsts of everything (birthdays, holidays, etc) were so hard to know what to do, how to handle and finally get through without falling apart. It's a grieving process that will get better with time. I agree what he (or they) did wasn't right, especially if you had already discussed doing it at a neutral place. Just sucky all around. With that being said, go to the party at your EX's girlfriend's house for your son. Be nice...but don't be fake. Your attitude should make everyone wonder why he let you go. In this situation, as hard as it will be, especially considering the ensuing custody battle, be the bigger person and extend a hand of grace so you have nothing to be ashamed of. After you get through this party, have it put it into writing that you will alternate birthdays (and next year will be yours), and always invite him to the party you throw for your son even if he doesn't come and you don't get invites to his. It's the RIGHT thing to do and your son will benefit from seeing your example of being the bigger person. Hang in there and God bless you and your son!!!

Anonymous wrote:You can restrict your ex from having overnight guests when the children are in his custody.

This has been done since this is the 3rd girlfriend this year that my daughter saw in my soon to be ex’a Bed.