Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to go to the same HS to know each other. They might have met on their travel soccer team, their middle school robotics club and/or at horseback riding or theater camp.

"Hundreds? What high school is sending hundreds of kids to UVA?"

Other than maybe T.J. in a good year, I don't know what this person is talking about. Our high school sent two (yes NOVA). No one comes in from NOVA knowing "100s".

My God you UVA moms are so pedantic and obtuse. Top nova high schools send dozens per year, kids know older and younger peers from their school, and others from the neighborhood = knowing 100s. Stop with your pathetic crusade to make UVA seem like some hyper-exclusive club -- it's not and it never will be.

http://www.arlingtonmagazine.com/college-admissions-snapshot/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a common complaint made in novels written by former Ivy Leaguers. So the perception that true middle class kids struggle a bit socially when surrounded by many with extreme wealth must have some basis in reality.

Not necessarily an income thing, more-so a geographic & feeder school thing. I mean who's going to have the social advantage: A kid from a school that sends maybe 1-2 a year to Harvard or the kids that attend some Silicon Valley public or NE boarding school that sends dozens of kids every year while also running in circles with kids at other feeders? And there's also something to be said about the savviness of these kids from feeders -- they know how to hit the ground running, ex. join the competitive clubs and then run the clubs.

Anonymous wrote:^^ Nova kids at UVA and GTOWN don't really need to make new friends, as they know dozens if not hundreds the second they step on campus. Where as at a small Ivy they may not know anyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll take the bait. My dd goes to a top a HYP. She came from public, dh and i are educated but are no means wealthy, we barely make over 200k. My dd has a deep musical talent and had a very prestigious music education, and graduated 1st in her class. She is more than prepared for this school. Socially, she tells me that there is a ton of imposter syndrome from ALL on the SES spectrum. I was told by a male classmate who joined us for dinner that everyone tries to figure out each other's "thing" i.e. how they got in, bc it's never just one thing. The "lowest" on the totem poll, which was surprising to me, were the Athletes. The group think there is that the academic standards are lowered very significantly for their admission. URM standards are not lowered nearly as much, as would have been my instinct, but I was told it's the athletes, many of whom hail from BS etc.

And I'll add that overall, this generation of kids are a bunch of loners. They don't socialize like we did, at least on campus. I'm sure you have seen on tours, you don't see groups of kids hanging out together. The influent of social media has totally reshaped how kids socialize, they do tend to not take social risks if that makes sense. Their seems to be too much predictability and less "lets throw a party and see what happens" and less impromptu get-togethers. Hard to explain. DD doesn't get it when I ask her bc that is their baseline.

DD has friends from every economic layer, making friends has a lot to do with your EC, so if you're an athlete who is poor, you WILL hang out with everyone on your team. DD has friends from the music ensembles, her house, and her courses. No surprise there.

LOL at thinking that the athletes are at the bottom of any totem pole at the Ivies. Maybe re SAT scores, but athletes and rich kids pretty much run the social scenes at every one of these schools.

I had a friend at a HYPS who would say that the quality of a class was inversely proportional to the number of baseball caps in the students' seats.

I'm very saddened by how cell phones probably affect how kids socialize at college. I can remember showing up in the cafeteria the first few weeks of school and sitting down with anyone who seemed a bit familiar (hall mates, students from class, etc.). Anyone who was familiar was welcome. Then we'd get into the pattern of knowing that our best pals usually ate around 6. Now, students probably text the 3 people they know from their first day and stick to those people like glue. It might seem much weirder to sit down with relative strangers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll take the bait. My dd goes to a top a HYP. She came from public, dh and i are educated but are no means wealthy, we barely make over 200k. My dd has a deep musical talent and had a very prestigious music education, and graduated 1st in her class. She is more than prepared for this school. Socially, she tells me that there is a ton of imposter syndrome from ALL on the SES spectrum. I was told by a male classmate who joined us for dinner that everyone tries to figure out each other's "thing" i.e. how they got in, bc it's never just one thing. The "lowest" on the totem poll, which was surprising to me, were the Athletes. The group think there is that the academic standards are lowered very significantly for their admission. URM standards are not lowered nearly as much, as would have been my instinct, but I was told it's the athletes, many of whom hail from BS etc.

And I'll add that overall, this generation of kids are a bunch of loners. They don't socialize like we did, at least on campus. I'm sure you have seen on tours, you don't see groups of kids hanging out together. The influent of social media has totally reshaped how kids socialize, they do tend to not take social risks if that makes sense. Their seems to be too much predictability and less "lets throw a party and see what happens" and less impromptu get-togethers. Hard to explain. DD doesn't get it when I ask her bc that is their baseline.

DD has friends from every economic layer, making friends has a lot to do with your EC, so if you're an athlete who is poor, you WILL hang out with everyone on your team. DD has friends from the music ensembles, her house, and her courses. No surprise there.

LOL at thinking that the athletes are at the bottom of any totem pole at the Ivies. Maybe re SAT scores, but athletes and rich kids pretty much run the social scenes at every one of these schools.

Anonymous wrote:I'll take the bait. My dd goes to a top a HYP. She came from public, dh and i are educated but are no means wealthy, we barely make over 200k. My dd has a deep musical talent and had a very prestigious music education, and graduated 1st in her class. She is more than prepared for this school. Socially, she tells me that there is a ton of imposter syndrome from ALL on the SES spectrum. I was told by a male classmate who joined us for dinner that everyone tries to figure out each other's "thing" i.e. how they got in, bc it's never just one thing. The "lowest" on the totem poll, which was surprising to me, were the Athletes. The group think there is that the academic standards are lowered very significantly for their admission. URM standards are not lowered nearly as much, as would have been my instinct, but I was told it's the athletes, many of whom hail from BS etc.

And I'll add that overall, this generation of kids are a bunch of loners. They don't socialize like we did, at least on campus. I'm sure you have seen on tours, you don't see groups of kids hanging out together. The influent of social media has totally reshaped how kids socialize, they do tend to not take social risks if that makes sense. Their seems to be too much predictability and less "lets throw a party and see what happens" and less impromptu get-togethers. Hard to explain. DD doesn't get it when I ask her bc that is their baseline.

DD has friends from every economic layer, making friends has a lot to do with your EC, so if you're an athlete who is poor, you WILL hang out with everyone on your team. DD has friends from the music ensembles, her house, and her courses. No surprise there.

Anonymous wrote:It's hard for everybody to make friends at Ivies. I just toured Yale with my son and one of the first things I noticed was that almost everyone was alone. Walking alone, eating alone, studying alone. In the 2.5 hours I was on campus, I saw literally only three groups of friends. It was strange, and kind of disheartening.