Anonymous wrote:Think it depends what time school ends. Middle school doesn't start until 9 am so my DD doesn't get off the bus until 4:45. She unwinds for 45 minutes and then I'm home.

I think elementary was harder to manage working and being there for my child. There are a million volunteer activities, homework help, and early sports practices during elementary years.

Yea. It definitely would be a waste of a 6 figure income for me to SAH at this point in time. My middle schooler gets off the bus at 345pm and my 9th grader is a walker and walks through the door at 415. Most days I'm home by 430/445 and since DH is in sales he works from home and rarely schedules a meeting past 3pm. I definitely am not stressed over logistics and both of my kids play travel sports m, plus my HS son plays 2 HS sports. My boys have managed straight As ever dince 7th grade without me hovering over their homework and both take all honors. I actually think NOT hovering over them has done them well. If i feel the need to extend my reach with school, its as easy as checking google classroom and parent vue where grades are updated real time.

I have a middle school child and am so happy I am home. Between travel sports and homework I find these years so crucial. If I was working I would not be able to be as engaged. At some point it is just so tiring. I think way better to work when they are babies and stay home when they are older. My daughter definitely appreciates that I am around. I am also not bored. I finally can make the dinners I always wanted to make and I am getting in shape and can drive all over the world for practices and games without the stress of having to create a car pool. I also and really present on homework when my child needs me to be. Lately it is running lines for a play. Again the issue is having the luxury to not be so overwhelmed with work that you miss the good stuff in life. Just plan on less dinners out and learn to color your own hair. With one less salary you have to figure out ways to make it all work.

OP, I haven't read all the other answers, but just have to say I'm thinking pretty much the opposite! I've been a somewhat involuntary stay-at-home mom since my kids were born (intended to stay home just til the youngest was 3-5, but circumstances kept me home longer.)

Now that my kids are hitting puberty I am thinking the best thing for all of us is if I weren't staying home anymore! We need a little space from each other. I guess this might be different if they're not used to you being home. But I didn't want you to quit your job and then just find that you are all getting on each others nerves all the time. They need me out of the house a bit, and i also need more outside things that are fulfilling, because they are (appropriately) pulling away from me.

When my oldest started middle school, I shifted my hours to 7 am - 3 pm and maintained my FT job (with benefits including a pension) and increased my telecommuting days so I go in the office once a week. This works best for our family.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say what's worked for my family: having a parent home with the kids from birth through high school. In the early years, that parent was me (I was home full-time until the youngest was ten), and at that point I went back PT. My husband drastically reduced his hours around that time, and one of us is always home in the mornings to see the kids off and in the afternoons when they return. It's not feasible for everyone, but we made it work and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I hesitate to say this because I know it will feed the crazy but I know a few people who quit their jobs in order to manage the college application process (my sister, for one, did this). Starting in 9th grade.

As someone who is currently going through the application process, I can completely understand this!!

As someone else who is currently going through this, I cannot. Yeah, some leave, but what do you do to fill all that time? Stand over your child with a carrot and a stick?

Pretty sure "managing the application process" was just being facetious. That said, there are plenty of reasons to be home during middle and high school, and that's just one.

I have two middle schoolers and I cannot imagine giving up my job to look after them full time. They have their own lives, and we have quality time in evenings/weekends/vacations. It would feel a little pathetic to give up my job just to spend an extra couple of hours a day with them when they don't really need it.

Think it depends what time school ends. Middle school doesn't start until 9 am so my DD doesn't get off the bus until 4:45. She unwinds for 45 minutes and then I'm home.

I think elementary was harder to manage working and being there for my child. There are a million volunteer activities, homework help, and early sports practices during elementary years.

Go part-time if you can! I love being part-time. Best of both worlds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I hesitate to say this because I know it will feed the crazy but I know a few people who quit their jobs in order to manage the college application process (my sister, for one, did this). Starting in 9th grade.

As someone who is currently going through the application process, I can completely understand this!!

As someone else who is currently going through this, I cannot. Yeah, some leave, but what do you do to fill all that time? Stand over your child with a carrot and a stick?

Well it worked for my sister. She got one unhooked precious into Stanford and the other into Duke. They are good all around kids (good scores and all that) but nothing stands out about them in any way (no musical debuts at Carnegie Hall and such). I don't know what wizardry she pulled off to get them in. I understand your chances are close to nil even with perfect grades and test scores.

Is there a way you can shift into a half-time position for a few years?

I have 4 kids, including a high schooler and middle schooler and two in elementary school. I had a very stressful job up until about a year ago and moved into a much less stressful job (with lower pay) and have been VERY happy to have time home with the kids. For several years, the kids had been complaining that I wasn't spending time with them. And I knew that when I did spend time, I was always distracted, busy, stressed, had headaches, etc. I could tell that a couple of the kids needed more attention than they were getting. They had an au pair, who did the basics, but didn't do it as 'well' as I can.

Now that I'm home from 2 onward, I find myself very busy from when the kids get home until bedtime. Helping with homework, taking them places, and just hanging out/playing. When my high schooler gets home, we just sit and chat for 30 minutes, which I never took the time to do with the old job. When my younger ones get home, I sit and help with homework (one of those things the au pair could technically do, but I do better). The middle schooler, in particular, needed more attention and time, and I now have that to give.

In sum, I think late elementary school through early high school is an important period. It's easy to assume the kids are self sufficient, but they still need help and support getting there and they still like having you around, though they don't always show it. You know your family dynamic best, and if you think this is important, it probably is.

At the same time, I think the pps are right that without any job, you will have too much free time from 9-2. See if there are options for a half-time job-- particularly one where you aren't taking the job home with you every day...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I hesitate to say this because I know it will feed the crazy but I know a few people who quit their jobs in order to manage the college application process (my sister, for one, did this). Starting in 9th grade.

As someone who is currently going through the application process, I can completely understand this!!

As someone else who is currently going through this, I cannot. Yeah, some leave, but what do you do to fill all that time? Stand over your child with a carrot and a stick?

I quit in my DC's MS. Haven't gone back yet. HS is even harder.

My friend has kids about 10 years older than mine. When mine were babies she quit her job. I didn't understand why she would need to be there for her Tweens full time. Now I get it. I have 3 teens who need me more than they did when they babies.

I work part time a few days a week (took a huge pay cut from my ft career) in between their school hours. School ends at 2:40, but they are all on every sports team that is offered. I drive them and their teammates to various activities. They also play competitive sports where they have to be at the field at 6:00. I have healthy home cooked meals ready for them when they come through the door, make cookies and other desserts as treats. Do all the housework, except for their chores, have the grocery shopping and other errands done. We can then do fun things on the weekends. I can be there when their friends come in after school, hear about their days as they come in the door. I feel completely connected to my kids, know their hopes, fears and dreams. I know who their friends are and wouldn't change this life for any amount of money.

The biggest difference I notice after going part time is that I am not stressed, and am enjoying the last few years before they go off to school.

Anonymous wrote:Well I hesitate to say this because I know it will feed the crazy but I know a few people who quit their jobs in order to manage the college application process (my sister, for one, did this). Starting in 9th grade.

As someone who is currently going through the application process, I can completely understand this!!