I'm recently married and my new wife went through an "evolution" as the wedding approached and then became a wife.

Her behavior changed and she did start to "nag." We have had a couple of conversations about it. I noticed a change in behavior as soon as the engagement ring went on the finger and it progressively got worse as the wedding approached. Early in the relationship she was easy-going, happy, and grateful (said thank you and please). That turned into "did you do that... did you do this... why didn't you do.... etc." I wouldn't even be done with one to-do before she would start asking about the next thing. These were not wedding-to-do's. It started to become her habit. Luckily I had told her early on in the relationship that I would not accept her nagging me like her mother nags her father. That I will not accept her pecking away at me to wear my down over time to get what she wants.

Bottom line is that nagging is real and those on this board that want to assign blame to the bf are biased. Accept that nagging is real. Do not deny his life experience. It may also be that he has other reasons as well.

Anonymous wrote:Op, rather than "fixing yourself" another option is accepting nagging is your style and trusting you'll find someone who that works with. My mom seems to nag my dad nonstop, but I think he'd be lost without her.

ADHD boys need a Dominant Female or someone who runs everything or tells them what to do, when, how. Or they never make it to the altar. Honestly, the latter is preferable; living with a spouse with ADHD is non-stop terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's see... is "nagging" codeword for "asked him to do an equal level of work for you isn't of allowing him to laze around?" Because that's usually what it's code for, and I would be throwing myself a party for getting out of that before i had kids.

Well she can either have her fiancee or she can stick up for bullshit feminist clap trap like this and be single.

Your choice, ladies.

I'm telling my daughters to not get married, have kids if/when they want without a spouse.
And I'd be thrilled if they become lesbians.
Any of that is better than some pretend "partnership marriage" where the man is nothing but a paycheck, slob and "too busy" to do anything after 8pm when it is TV time.

He sounds low on life experience and doesn't know how to be part of a household. This would get considerably worse if you had a house to care for and children. His life expectations are false and he is likely clueless how to raise a family as well. Just move on and ask the real questions next time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad that I dodged a bullet and move on.

That's a cop out reason. He either has another petty real reasons OR he doesn't like being called out on his incompetences and bad habits (which he is calling nagging when you bring up anything).
So he has real communication issues and I feel sorry for whatever milk maid he does marry.

Yep. The way he did this and the fact that he's hiding it from friends and family is a real red flag. It looks like he's either gaslighting you, hiding something (someone!), or both.

Maybe you dodged a bullet. Maybe he did. Maybe you both did.

Woman: Please put your dirty boxers in the hamper.

ManChild: Shut up you Nag! My mommy loves it.

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad that I dodged a bullet and move on.

That's a cop out reason. He either has another petty real reasons OR he doesn't like being called out on his incompetences and bad habits (which he is calling nagging when you bring up anything).
So he has real communication issues and I feel sorry for whatever milk maid he does marry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone siding with op. She's the problem.

Because most of the posters here are women. Married women, so we fully understand and are used to male BS. We know exactly what "nagging" means

In other words, you're PROJECTING your sh-t onto her situation.

Not helpful at all.

Focus on HER post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe. It seems like her lucky day what with dropping the dead weight, perhaps it will cross over to lottery winnings too

OP is the winner here: She dodged a bullet in the form of a fiance because he's a loser with a small dick and she's back on the open market, where she's sure to find someone hot, confident, who's willing to put in his fair share, while her ex stays alone and lazy.

FIFY

FIFY

FIFY

I guess someone is having a stiff drink this morning. keep dreaming if you think any guy wouldn't just pump and dump someone like this. you and the other ball-busters are the ones who encourage irresponsible behavior by shifting the blame to the the wronged party.

I know they wouldn't, because I'm a ball buster and my man loves it. And you bet your a** he takes the trash out without me asking anymore.

Op, rather than "fixing yourself" another option is accepting nagging is your style and trusting you'll find someone who that works with. My mom seems to nag my dad nonstop, but I think he'd be lost without her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe. It seems like her lucky day what with dropping the dead weight, perhaps it will cross over to lottery winnings too

OP is the winner here: She dodged a bullet in the form of a fiance because he's a loser with a small dick and she's back on the open market, where she's sure to find someone hot, confident, who's willing to put in his fair share, while her ex stays alone and lazy.

FIFY

FIFY

FIFY

I guess someone is having a stiff drink this morning. keep dreaming if you think any guy wouldn't just pump and dump someone like this. you and the other ball-busters are the ones who encourage irresponsible behavior by shifting the blame to the the wronged party.

Anonymous wrote:If I say anything about anything DH calls me a nag. Be glad OP and move on.

+1

If I say anything about anything DH calls me a nag. Be glad OP and move on.

1. He should have warned you so that you could fix it, but communication is never perfect.

2. He could also have other reasons to leave.

Oh well. Now you know not to nag as much.

Be glad and go out with some friends and celebrate.