Anonymous wrote:It wouldn't have made me angry. I'd have said "It's in the filing cabinet under "Car Stuff" - help yourself when you get home."

If he was bitchy about that I'd point out the 17 other things I'm doing tonight on TOP of my full time job.

lemme guess who opened the mail and filed it away correctly. not him.

He must be one of those men who is just used to constant setbacks and has a lame excuse for each and every one of them.

Seriously check into Adult ADHD, he may be only to focus on one thing period. and that seems to be his office work. He needs medication and to develop systems. You need coping mechanism, more help, him to step up. Try it out and then decide if that is what you want for 10, 20, 30, 40 more years. Does his father or siblings have attention issues? Act like total frazzle heads or nutty professors? Never pay attention or remember anything? Get accused of being lazy or dumb? They are. but they also might have imbalances and add.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he do it himself?

He doesn't respect you enough to pull his weight.

Is this cultural? He sounds like he needs a milk maid wife who is also his mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't he do it himself?

+1

It wouldn't make me mad, but I wouldn't drop what I was doing to go get it. If it were that important, he should've reminded you at a more convenient time.

Does he have any sense of organization or time management at all? He needs counseling. He is really letting you and your children down.

BTW, what would happen if something happened to you (physical or mental handicap), could he handle things? or just cop out and attempt to outsource all thinking (not possible) and doing (possible).

In general you both need couples counseling. There is lack of respect brewing and boomerang all over, even if he started it by constantly dumping on you everything.

OP, it's not about this one task. You have taken on all of the household and familial duties, and your husband has late you. You need to stop doing it all. I would be irritated, too, if I did it all, and then DH piled yet another request on top. Hopefully I would also recognize that it was time to communicate with him about the imbalance and make a change.

For example, in this instance you could have said, "Larry, my plate is overflowing right now. Would you mind contacting Jimbo at AllState, and he can get you the paperwork you need."

Then, at a different (and neutral) point in time, you need to tell him how stressed out you are, and ask what he thinks he can take off of your plate for the family/house duties.

IT wouldn't, but your situation would. Divide the labour.

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't make me mad at all. Texts are meant to be short and to the point. It would take me 5 minutes to help him out. Who cares? I know this sounds trite but "don't sweat the small stuff."

You think it is attractive to have your grownass spouse spewing out 100s of adult tasks he should do while you can't count on him for jack squat ever??

I really hope OP does not have sons. If she does I hope they have some common sense and personal responsibility, since they won't be learning either from their father.

Anonymous wrote:op here- he needed info about our auto insurance to see if he can still drive to meetings in his car

Have his paid secretary do it if he can't call customer service of his insurance policy.

Pathetic all around.

This is a very common reason for divorce: the ManChild.

Thank his mother for his utter uselessness.

My husband with untreated ADHD often forgets deadlines and wakes up at the last minute, so...

I HAVE STOPPED DOING THE WORK FOR HIM.

Because this always happens, and he always manages to make it my fault.

I remind him of what he needs to do when, he usually doesn't listen. But the responsibility is ALL on him.

No. You are overreacting with the today part, unless there's more to the history. I am a forgetful DW and my DH reminds me to do stuff. Sometimes he needs it that day. What is the big deal?

So, Op has time for 5 pages of this, but GETS MAD at the thought of helping DH remember something. Op just wants to be mad. Be helpful or not Op, to answer you question .. it's not a big deal either way. But Op is the one working at making it a big deal.

Livid??

Geez, you sound like a bit of a drama queen.

I am so sick of needy men who need their wives instructions for every damn thing in their lives. Can he wipe his own ass?

That text would not make me mad. But I think there is a bigger issue here. You actually go out of your way to point out that you do everything in the house. IMO, that was irrelevant to the point. He asked you to do something and you said you would do it. Instead of saying "remind me" THAT was the time to tell him he should do it himself. "John, I am really busy. The paperwork is in the top drawer. If you cannot find it, let me know." DONE!! Don't say you will do something, forget to do it and act offended when he expects you to have done it.

The bigger issue that I mentioned is that you seem resentful of all that you do. That's understandable. You also seem to think you are beyond reproach when something falls through the cracks. Either divide the responsibilities with him or not, but if you take it on, you have to be accountable about it. Personally, my DH would have been doing it himself when he first asked me. For you, that ship has sailed. But I would not get him in trouble with his boss to prove a point.

This wouldn't make me mad at all. Texts are meant to be short and to the point. It would take me 5 minutes to help him out. Who cares? I know this sounds trite but "don't sweat the small stuff."