Anonymous
Post 08/30/2017 06:44     Subject: Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm 24, and my son is only one year old, but I also was in your daughter's shoes.

I worked in the restaurant business all throughout college. I met a lot of people who I'm sure my parents would hate. Managers that went to the bathrooms to snort coke. Ex-convicts. Illegal immigrants. Drug dealers.

I befriended many of these people, to one degree to another. Then I graduated college and got a nice government job, married my girlfriend, and had a baby. I still talk to many friends from these jobs.

It never made me want to snort coke, or to go to jail, or to sell drugs, or to have kids. It showed me that behind these issues there is often a human struggling with deeper problems that might not be so obvious. People who want acceptence, people worthy of friendship even if I don't have any desire to follow their path in life.

There is a big difference between saying, 'her kids are cute' and wanting children of one's own. I'm sure the kids probably are cute, and maybe makes your daughter think about when she has kids off her own, but unless there are other underlying problems you see, I suspect it also will show your DAD just how challenging that life is.


I don't think having a kid at 23 is a great life decision.


I'm the PP.

I will admit it wasn't something me and DW were planning on, but it also wasn't something we were unprepared for either. We were lucky to both have well paying, professional jobs and are lucky that we are definitely able to handle.

Ultimately, though at times I may admittedly wish we had waited a few years for (and we have no desire to have any more kids in the near future, I would never go back and 'do it over.'

I love our son. She thought Birth control was still active, it wasn't. Not a mistake we will repeat, but it also brought our son into this world I would never trade that for anything. If anything, it has made us both far more understanding and appreciative that we were/are in a position to care for and support his needs.


23 is on the young side for an adult to start a family but it is post college age and way past HS age.

A 17 year old with 2 babies is in a totally different category entirely..not the same thing at all.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2017 02:07     Subject: Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm 24, and my son is only one year old, but I also was in your daughter's shoes.

I worked in the restaurant business all throughout college. I met a lot of people who I'm sure my parents would hate. Managers that went to the bathrooms to snort coke. Ex-convicts. Illegal immigrants. Drug dealers.

I befriended many of these people, to one degree to another. Then I graduated college and got a nice government job, married my girlfriend, and had a baby. I still talk to many friends from these jobs.

It never made me want to snort coke, or to go to jail, or to sell drugs, or to have kids. It showed me that behind these issues there is often a human struggling with deeper problems that might not be so obvious. People who want acceptence, people worthy of friendship even if I don't have any desire to follow their path in life.

There is a big difference between saying, 'her kids are cute' and wanting children of one's own. I'm sure the kids probably are cute, and maybe makes your daughter think about when she has kids off her own, but unless there are other underlying problems you see, I suspect it also will show your DAD just how challenging that life is.


I don't think having a kid at 23 is a great life decision.


I'm the PP.

I will admit it wasn't something me and DW were planning on, but it also wasn't something we were unprepared for either. We were lucky to both have well paying, professional jobs and are lucky that we are definitely able to handle.

Ultimately, though at times I may admittedly wish we had waited a few years for (and we have no desire to have any more kids in the near future, I would never go back and 'do it over.'

I love our son. She thought Birth control was still active, it wasn't. Not a mistake we will repeat, but it also brought our son into this world I would never trade that for anything. If anything, it has made us both far more understanding and appreciative that we were/are in a position to care for and support his needs.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 15:26     Subject: Re:Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
I am the parent of a 15 yo son. When I was 16, I had a friend that was a teen mom at age 17. Do you know what that did for me? That was the biggest eye opener for me and I knew I would not want to have a child for at least the next decade+
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 15:00     Subject: Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
I encountered so many colleagues when I worked during breaks in high school and college and never once did my parents say "stay away from that person." I turned out to be who I am no matter what. I also had my oldest at the ungodly age of 26. I have a great career, great family, and spouse, and am not a snob/bigot/racist. I also interview for my school and the shiny, internship heavy resumes are not that impressive. In fact, the director of career services asked alums about the current students, and lack of real world experience was listed as a flaw in general.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 13:43     Subject: Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm 24, and my son is only one year old, but I also was in your daughter's shoes.

I worked in the restaurant business all throughout college. I met a lot of people who I'm sure my parents would hate. Managers that went to the bathrooms to snort coke. Ex-convicts. Illegal immigrants. Drug dealers.

I befriended many of these people, to one degree to another. Then I graduated college and got a nice government job, married my girlfriend, and had a baby. I still talk to many friends from these jobs.

It never made me want to snort coke, or to go to jail, or to sell drugs, or to have kids. It showed me that behind these issues there is often a human struggling with deeper problems that might not be so obvious. People who want acceptence, people worthy of friendship even if I don't have any desire to follow their path in life.

There is a big difference between saying, 'her kids are cute' and wanting children of one's own. I'm sure the kids probably are cute, and maybe makes your daughter think about when she has kids off her own, but unless there are other underlying problems you see, I suspect it also will show your DAD just how challenging that life is.


I don't think having a kid at 23 is a great life decision.


would be very concerned if my kid married before the age of 27. PP is not a sign of maturity but a sign of rushing to approve he's an adult.

It's a perfectly fine decision when, like this young man, you've finished college, secured a job, and married the child's mother. Kudos to this young man both for this actions and his perspective on life and common humanity. His parents should be proud of him, I know if he were my son, I would be.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2017 13:42     Subject: Would you allow your teen to be friends with a teen parent?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm 24, and my son is only one year old, but I also was in your daughter's shoes.

I worked in the restaurant business all throughout college. I met a lot of people who I'm sure my parents would hate. Managers that went to the bathrooms to snort coke. Ex-convicts. Illegal immigrants. Drug dealers.

I befriended many of these people, to one degree to another. Then I graduated college and got a nice government job, married my girlfriend, and had a baby. I still talk to many friends from these jobs.

It never made me want to snort coke, or to go to jail, or to sell drugs, or to have kids. It showed me that behind these issues there is often a human struggling with deeper problems that might not be so obvious. People who want acceptence, people worthy of friendship even if I don't have any desire to follow their path in life.

There is a big difference between saying, 'her kids are cute' and wanting children of one's own. I'm sure the kids probably are cute, and maybe makes your daughter think about when she has kids off her own, but unless there are other underlying problems you see, I suspect it also will show your DAD just how challenging that life is.


I don't think having a kid at 23 is a great life decision.


NP. Seriously? That seems to be a pretty normal age to me.


+1. What's wrong with having a kid at 23? Some of you guys really need to expand your circle.


Nothing if you plan on being divorced at 33 with 2 kids. Round of applause for starter families.