Anonymous
07/25/2017 12:21
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
These are the same people who like to call themselves orphans, after losing their parents well into their adult years (as is normal). Of course it's sad and emotional, but you're not an "orphan" if you lost your parents when you're, say, 38 and 55, respectively.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 12:16
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Anonymous wrote:Wait, so people with cancer aren't considered cancer survivors unless they have chemo or radiation?
Unbelievable.
Yup, OP has earned the title of DCUM's first cancer snob.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 12:09
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Your entitled to your feeling, but if her cancer does return and it's worse and she doesn't make it. You'll feel terribly about all the time you wasted being petty.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 12:00
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
I'm wondering what qualifies as "Real Cancer"...
Would the OP would feel inclined to vent if the friend "survived" cervical cancer as opposed to melanoma on her toe?
Would the OP would feel inclined to vent if the friend "survived" cervical cancer as opposed to melanoma on her toe?
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:51
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Dear God, why are you playing misery poker?
If you feel the need to say something--and I think that you should, given how much this is stressing you out--say something like, I am so glad that you were able to catch the cancer *so early*. A sentiment, which I hope that you feel, even if you are annoyed by the wide range of cancer survivors. Cancer has such a huge range of victims, but the one thing that is true of most cancers is that the earlier it is caught, the better your prognosis.
If you feel the need to say something--and I think that you should, given how much this is stressing you out--say something like, I am so glad that you were able to catch the cancer *so early*. A sentiment, which I hope that you feel, even if you are annoyed by the wide range of cancer survivors. Cancer has such a huge range of victims, but the one thing that is true of most cancers is that the earlier it is caught, the better your prognosis.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:46
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Anonymous wrote:
I completely understand you, OP.
Cancers are not created equal.
Yeah, I'd love to get melanoma.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:43
Subject: Re:Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Don't worry, OP. There's still time for you to get to see her with the "real thing"
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:42
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Anonymous wrote:I Agree OP. Watching a loved one's body be ravaged by cancer and/or cancer treatments, having your entire world upended, not knowing what the next few months or a year hold, and the toll that it takes on the patient and everyone around them is vastly different than finding an isolated group of cancer cells that are quickly and completely removed and the person returns to their normal life.
It's odd to call yourself a survivor if you didn't go through a period of thinking that your life was actually at risk. It's like the difference between "I survived a car crash" when you were rear-ended on a side street going 10 mph vs. a pile-up on the Beltway.
WOW!
You have a lot of nerve
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:42
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Anonymous wrote:I Agree OP. Watching a loved one's body be ravaged by cancer and/or cancer treatments, having your entire world upended, not knowing what the next few months or a year hold, and the toll that it takes on the patient and everyone around them is vastly different than finding an isolated group of cancer cells that are quickly and completely removed and the person returns to their normal life.
It's odd to call yourself a survivor if you didn't go through a period of thinking that your life was actually at risk. It's like the difference between "I survived a car crash" when you were rear-ended on a side street going 10 mph vs. a pile-up on the Beltway.
If you have melanoma, even treated, you do not go back to your normal life. You worry every time you go in the sun, you change vacation plans, you buy different clothes, you may change your commute to work or change the hours you are outside.
I agree it's not the same as going through chemo or dying, but to pretend that you go back to your normal life is absurd.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:39
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
I Agree OP. Watching a loved one's body be ravaged by cancer and/or cancer treatments, having your entire world upended, not knowing what the next few months or a year hold, and the toll that it takes on the patient and everyone around them is vastly different than finding an isolated group of cancer cells that are quickly and completely removed and the person returns to their normal life.
It's odd to call yourself a survivor if you didn't go through a period of thinking that your life was actually at risk. It's like the difference between "I survived a car crash" when you were rear-ended on a side street going 10 mph vs. a pile-up on the Beltway.
It's odd to call yourself a survivor if you didn't go through a period of thinking that your life was actually at risk. It's like the difference between "I survived a car crash" when you were rear-ended on a side street going 10 mph vs. a pile-up on the Beltway.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:38
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
OP what's the friends email - I'm gonna send her a link to this post see if she wants to chime in.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:38
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
I completely understand you, OP.
Cancers are not created equal.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:38
Subject: Re:Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
As the PP noted, the medical community considers her a cancer survivor. I bet insurance companies do, too.
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:36
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
I had a parent who died from a stroke. I know several people who had strokes and lived. I don't begrudge them their "survival".
Anonymous
07/25/2017 11:35
Subject: Friend always says she is a cancer survivor and it bothers me
Anonymous wrote:All of you who are saying that the "friend" has a right to characterize her cancer experience however she wants and to feel whatever she feels also need to remember that OP is also allowed to be offended/hurt/whatever by the friend's choice of words even if no offense was intended. OP is allowed to come here and vent.
OP can feel however she want BUT she cannot regulate how someone else frames their own PERSONAL experience. OP is causing herself a whole lot of pain comparing her friend's experience with her own deep pain and loss. She is putting herself in a lose-lose situation. Perhaps her time would be better spent learning how to heal and live with her loss, and sadness. Sitting around regulating whether or not other people qualify as a "cancer survivor" is an asinine, self-inflicted pain inducing waste of time.