Anonymous
Post 07/26/2017 08:57     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
OP here. The case worker also said that unless a child support order is established, my husband has nk legal obligation to the children.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2017 08:48     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wasn't sure whether to post here or elsewhere, but considering I have a preschooler and a baby, thought this would be a good forum.

I've recently separated from my husband. When we lived together, I was a SAHM and we lived overseas for his job. I've returned to the US and have been living on a credit card while figuring everything out. I'm applying to a nursing program and am spending the next two semesters taking prerequisites to become eligible. This fall I'll be taking ten credits and a science lab, and in the spring will take six credits and two science labs.

To complicate matters, everyone I've spoken with (social services and a family law attorney) has warned me that collecting child support while my husband is overseas may be impossible. (He has cut me off financially.) Essentially, a child support order is unenforceable, despite his being a federal employee. I have found a job which would pay me $9 an hour plus tips, working 30-35 hours a week. Childcare would be $1000 a month for both children

I'm wondering if it would be better/wiser to live off of student loans/grants/scholarships and state assistance while I'm in school, or if I should work at above job. What do you think?


I'm not buying this. Do you know what agency your DH works for? Do you know his social security number? If so, you should be able to collect child support from a federal employee. Even if it is "cloak and dagger", if you lived overseas, you have SOMEONE'S contact info. You communicated with someone about something.


The lady at social services doesn't work for child support nor does she work in OPM.

OP here. He's with the Department of Defense, and yes, I have his social. I'm flummoxed too, but a woman at social services told me that the US doesn't have an agreement with the country where my husband is located, and therefore the order cannot be enforced.



The lady at social services doesn't work for child support nor does she work in OPM.


The lady does work for child support enforcement - it's in the same office as social services. She didn't even know that the country where my husband lives signed a reciprocal agreement with the US (to pursue child support) effective January 1 of this year- I found it with a quick Google search. She also says his wages will be garnished the amount that the other county deems appropriate. I am so nervous this is being totally mishandled. She told me she has never handled an overseas case.
Anonymous
Post 07/26/2017 06:16     Subject: Re:Help me plan my life, DCUM

Reading over your threads quickly, you are in a situation where you could fall deeply into debt and fast. Absolutely apply for all public assistance for which you may qualify. Now. Right away. When you are stable, you can go off it and pay your taxes and play the favor forward. Right now, just need to right yourself and make sure you can pay bills. You don't want to use the credit cards.

You need to work out a barebones idea of what you need to survive on per month and see how far short you are with the current pay and expected tips. Then try to work out what more you need in addition to assistance.

While you are trying to tread water, I think you need to get some legal advice on how to pursue child support (I don't believe you cannot get it from a Fed - pursue this!) and also how to protect yourself and sue for what (I assume) is probably an impending divorce.

I don't know how to answer your work vs. education question in the previous thread. I would very carefully game out the financials of each scenario (just working, full time school, part-time school, with and without supplemental work) and figure out what solution will allow you to emerge with the least debt and reasonable stress levels. You might consider that your situation may be better if you get the problem of child support (and custody?) worked out and then go back to school.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2017 20:55     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wasn't sure whether to post here or elsewhere, but considering I have a preschooler and a baby, thought this would be a good forum.

I've recently separated from my husband. When we lived together, I was a SAHM and we lived overseas for his job. I've returned to the US and have been living on a credit card while figuring everything out. I'm applying to a nursing program and am spending the next two semesters taking prerequisites to become eligible. This fall I'll be taking ten credits and a science lab, and in the spring will take six credits and two science labs.

To complicate matters, everyone I've spoken with (social services and a family law attorney) has warned me that collecting child support while my husband is overseas may be impossible. (He has cut me off financially.) Essentially, a child support order is unenforceable, despite his being a federal employee. I have found a job which would pay me $9 an hour plus tips, working 30-35 hours a week. Childcare would be $1000 a month for both children

I'm wondering if it would be better/wiser to live off of student loans/grants/scholarships and state assistance while I'm in school, or if I should work at above job. What do you think?


I'm not buying this. Do you know what agency your DH works for? Do you know his social security number? If so, you should be able to collect child support from a federal employee. Even if it is "cloak and dagger", if you lived overseas, you have SOMEONE'S contact info. You communicated with someone about something.


The lady at social services doesn't work for child support nor does she work in OPM.

OP here. He's with the Department of Defense, and yes, I have his social. I'm flummoxed too, but a woman at social services told me that the US doesn't have an agreement with the country where my husband is located, and therefore the order cannot be enforced.



The lady at social services doesn't work for child support nor does she work in OPM.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2017 20:46     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wasn't sure whether to post here or elsewhere, but considering I have a preschooler and a baby, thought this would be a good forum.

I've recently separated from my husband. When we lived together, I was a SAHM and we lived overseas for his job. I've returned to the US and have been living on a credit card while figuring everything out. I'm applying to a nursing program and am spending the next two semesters taking prerequisites to become eligible. This fall I'll be taking ten credits and a science lab, and in the spring will take six credits and two science labs.

To complicate matters, everyone I've spoken with (social services and a family law attorney) has warned me that collecting child support while my husband is overseas may be impossible. (He has cut me off financially.) Essentially, a child support order is unenforceable, despite his being a federal employee. I have found a job which would pay me $9 an hour plus tips, working 30-35 hours a week. Childcare would be $1000 a month for both children

I'm wondering if it would be better/wiser to live off of student loans/grants/scholarships and state assistance while I'm in school, or if I should work at above job. What do you think?


I'm not buying this. Do you know what agency your DH works for? Do you know his social security number? If so, you should be able to collect child support from a federal employee. Even if it is "cloak and dagger", if you lived overseas, you have SOMEONE'S contact info. You communicated with someone about something.


The lady at social services doesn't work for child support nor does she work in OPM.

OP here. He's with the Department of Defense, and yes, I have his social. I'm flummoxed too, but a woman at social services told me that the US doesn't have an agreement with the country where my husband is located, and therefore the order cannot be enforced.
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2017 20:45     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
Anonymous wrote:If he's a federal employee, the advice you've gotten is wrong. His wages absolutely can be garnished pursuant to a child support order.

+1
Anonymous
Post 07/25/2017 19:34     Subject: Help me plan my life, DCUM
To the OP,

Good luck on your endeavors. As long as you are committed nursing, hunker down and go for it.

Two thumbs up.