Anonymous
Post 06/05/2017 09:59     Subject: Bad hosts
Lighten up OP. You sound like a pita.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2017 09:49     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.


Op here - actually no, I showed up with several birthday gifts, a bottle of wine (which disappeared after I gave it to them) and a bath of cookies my kids made for their cousins.

I DID offer to order or pick up food, I asked if there was anything there we could feed he kids.


eh, honestly I can see both sides. She was tired from the kiddie party planning/logistics, knew that you had driven a distance to attend the party and she probably wasn't thinking of "hosting" you after the party...she was just thinking "Oh, we should give the kids time to play together" so she invited you to come on over.

Do you think that she was deliberately being rude to you or do you think that maybe she was busy with a million things going on at the party and sort of invited you over spur of the moment?


Well she invited us at the same time as inviting us to the party - "we hope you can come to the party and of course come over after so we cal all spend more time together". Plus the party was all done by the venue, there were about 5 kids other than family and other parents stayed. SIL/bil are definitely not the do it all themselves type, they are really disorganized and messy but I've never been in a situation like yesterday. They are as I said before quite self-centered but I still don't get why they had no plans for even their own family to eat dinner.


Congrats on being organized, you're obviously a much better person than your sister-in-law.

Anonymous
Post 06/05/2017 00:42     Subject: Re:Bad hosts
I think it's strange she had nothing in the refrigerator or pantry. She has kids and should have staples on hand.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:48     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.


Op here - actually no, I showed up with several birthday gifts, a bottle of wine (which disappeared after I gave it to them) and a bath of cookies my kids made for their cousins.

I DID offer to order or pick up food, I asked if there was anything there we could feed he kids.


eh, honestly I can see both sides. She was tired from the kiddie party planning/logistics, knew that you had driven a distance to attend the party and she probably wasn't thinking of "hosting" you after the party...she was just thinking "Oh, we should give the kids time to play together" so she invited you to come on over.

Do you think that she was deliberately being rude to you or do you think that maybe she was busy with a million things going on at the party and sort of invited you over spur of the moment?


Well she invited us at the same time as inviting us to the party - "we hope you can come to the party and of course come over after so we cal all spend more time together". Plus the party was all done by the venue, there were about 5 kids other than family and other parents stayed. SIL/bil are definitely not the do it all themselves type, they are really disorganized and messy but I've never been in a situation like yesterday. They are as I said before quite self-centered but I still don't get why they had no plans for even their own family to eat dinner.


I think she must have envisioned everyone eating at the party and didn't expect everyone to be starving right after the party.

She goofed. She tried to make it better by picking up something from the store. But she goofed again because it took her too long to get the food and then when she finally did get it home, it had to be prepared. This is obviously not her forte. You know that now without a doubt. Next time help her. Pick up a bucket of KFC or whatever on the way to her house.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:44     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
You're acting a little entitled and demanding, OP.

In a perfect world, your hosts would have food and drinks for you when you wanted it. But do you really think that it's worth your while complaining about such a small thing? You're not in Yemen or South Sudan fleeing from barbaric men and starving to death, are you?

Could you, for example, exert yourself to call your SIL to ask her when she'd be back, in case you had to cook a little pasta for your children in her kitchen? With her permission, of course, and couched as "can I cook a little something to go with what you're buying"?

There are ways and means, OP, to try to get what you want and still look graceful.


I did text her (she never answers her phone) and ask if I could boil water or preheat the oven to have it ready for whatever she was bringing. She responded "not sure her". And it's called venting - I'm not complaining to her face, I'm just baffled by the behavior and venting.


Sorry "not sure YET"
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:43     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
You're acting a little entitled and demanding, OP.

In a perfect world, your hosts would have food and drinks for you when you wanted it. But do you really think that it's worth your while complaining about such a small thing? You're not in Yemen or South Sudan fleeing from barbaric men and starving to death, are you?

Could you, for example, exert yourself to call your SIL to ask her when she'd be back, in case you had to cook a little pasta for your children in her kitchen? With her permission, of course, and couched as "can I cook a little something to go with what you're buying"?

There are ways and means, OP, to try to get what you want and still look graceful.


I did text her (she never answers her phone) and ask if I could boil water or preheat the oven to have it ready for whatever she was bringing. She responded "not sure her". And it's called venting - I'm not complaining to her face, I'm just baffled by the behavior and venting.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:38     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.


Op here - actually no, I showed up with several birthday gifts, a bottle of wine (which disappeared after I gave it to them) and a bath of cookies my kids made for their cousins.

I DID offer to order or pick up food, I asked if there was anything there we could feed he kids.


eh, honestly I can see both sides. She was tired from the kiddie party planning/logistics, knew that you had driven a distance to attend the party and she probably wasn't thinking of "hosting" you after the party...she was just thinking "Oh, we should give the kids time to play together" so she invited you to come on over.

Do you think that she was deliberately being rude to you or do you think that maybe she was busy with a million things going on at the party and sort of invited you over spur of the moment?


Well she invited us at the same time as inviting us to the party - "we hope you can come to the party and of course come over after so we cal all spend more time together". Plus the party was all done by the venue, there were about 5 kids other than family and other parents stayed. SIL/bil are definitely not the do it all themselves type, they are really disorganized and messy but I've never been in a situation like yesterday. They are as I said before quite self-centered but I still don't get why they had no plans for even their own family to eat dinner.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:34     Subject: Bad hosts

You're acting a little entitled and demanding, OP.

In a perfect world, your hosts would have food and drinks for you when you wanted it. But do you really think that it's worth your while complaining about such a small thing? You're not in Yemen or South Sudan fleeing from barbaric men and starving to death, are you?

Could you, for example, exert yourself to call your SIL to ask her when she'd be back, in case you had to cook a little pasta for your children in her kitchen? With her permission, of course, and couched as "can I cook a little something to go with what you're buying"?

There are ways and means, OP, to try to get what you want and still look graceful.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:29     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.


Op here - actually no, I showed up with several birthday gifts, a bottle of wine (which disappeared after I gave it to them) and a bath of cookies my kids made for their cousins.

I DID offer to order or pick up food, I asked if there was anything there we could feed he kids.


eh, honestly I can see both sides. She was tired from the kiddie party planning/logistics, knew that you had driven a distance to attend the party and she probably wasn't thinking of "hosting" you after the party...she was just thinking "Oh, we should give the kids time to play together" so she invited you to come on over.

Do you think that she was deliberately being rude to you or do you think that maybe she was busy with a million things going on at the party and sort of invited you over spur of the moment?
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 21:20     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.


Op here - actually no, I showed up with several birthday gifts, a bottle of wine (which disappeared after I gave it to them) and a bath of cookies my kids made for their cousins.

I DID offer to order or pick up food, I asked if there was anything there we could feed he kids.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 20:54     Subject: Bad hosts
You showed up to her house empty handed? Yikes.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 20:50     Subject: Bad hosts
Isn't this your family? In my family we're more forgiving. Can you try that? Realize she was busy with the party and cut her some slack. Ask if you can make the kids a sandwich. Offer to order Chinese. "Mind if we raid your fridge?"
In my sil's house, I open the cabinets and browse around until I find a box of Mac and cheese. Same goes for her in mine.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 20:46     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your dinner was served at 4:45. It was pizza. I don't expect "guests I invited over to my house" to require a second meal less than an hour after the first was served. If your kids weren't hungry then, too bad. She is not a short order cook.

Why do you invite people over?[/quote

The hosts hosted a birthday party. That was the meal! If I invite you out to dinner, and then to hang at my house, I don't think I'm going to need to feed you again in 45 minutes. Jesus christ, you people are the same ones that insist on snacks for every single outing. No wonder there is an obesity problem in this country.


She said several times that it was over an hour after the party ended and that the birthday kid was the first one to be hungry. A slice of pizza served to kids and nothing to adults who you've hen invited over during the dinner hour doesn't count as dinner.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 20:32     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your dinner was served at 4:45. It was pizza. I don't expect "guests I invited over to my house" to require a second meal less than an hour after the first was served. If your kids weren't hungry then, too bad. She is not a short order cook.

Why do you invite people over?[/quote

The hosts hosted a birthday party. That was the meal! If I invite you out to dinner, and then to hang at my house, I don't think I'm going to need to feed you again in 45 minutes. Jesus christ, you people are the same ones that insist on snacks for every single outing. No wonder there is an obesity problem in this country.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2017 20:18     Subject: Bad hosts
Anonymous wrote:Your dinner was served at 4:45. It was pizza. I don't expect "guests I invited over to my house" to require a second meal less than an hour after the first was served. If your kids weren't hungry then, too bad. She is not a short order cook.

Why do you invite people over?