Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
One person can do it
Single and military parents do it all the time.
And parents of multiples do it all the time. For us, when the kids were infants, we slept in shifts so that we could each get a realistic amount of sleep. We both had some travel that the family did not go on when the kids were toddlers and preschoolers. Agreed that it is much easier with two parents, but after a few months, both parents should be able to take care of the kids without the other.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
One person can do it
Single and military parents do it all the time.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
One person can do it
Single and military parents do it all the time.
Anonymous wrote:Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
One person can do it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you are waiting.
for dinner. I guess I'll go ahead and make it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:there's a middle ground. in my family it would be like this:
spouse A--hey, do you mind if I go to HH?
spouse B--sure, fine, should I wait for dinner for you?
Spouse a-yes, I'll be home by 7:30 or No, dont wait.
Spouse B--okay, text me before you leave
If, for some reason, 9 pm rolls around and spouse A hasn't come home? Spouse B--hey, are you okay? please let me know when you'l be home and take uber if you've been drinking.
Spouse b-sorry, leaving in 15 mins.
This isn't a good example of middle ground and in your example, you are more like OP than you think.
Sure it is. Key difference here: spouse A checks in to see if the behavior is an inconvenience. OP's spouse simply announces that he is going out, and does not communicate that he won't be home to eat.
Anonymous wrote:If we didn't have plans my DW would be fine with me going to HH with co-workers. But at 9 she would be concerned that 4 hours of HH might result in diminished driving skills or that something had already happened. She would be right to be concerned but being irate and pissed is ridiculous. I would likely have called or texted at around 7 or so to say I'd be late. Or, she would likely have texted at 8 asking if I was OK. Both approaches are very normal. But sitting home at 9 venting on DCum is childish.
Anonymous wrote:Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
One person can do it
Because it leaves one parent to do bedtime duty. If they have small kids, that's a job that requires all hands on deck
Anonymous wrote:NP here. We have a good relationship that is based on mutual respect. My wife has no problem if I decide to go out with some friends after work. If this were to happen on a week night, it just means that the next night (or some night of her choice), I am responsible for dinner for the kids and myself (her choice if she wants to join us or go out) and bedtime for the kids. In other words, a trade, I get tonight, you get tomorrow night. She could pull the same stunt and text me that she wants to go out with a friend, so I have to come up with dinner plans (if I don't have time to cook, then I can take the kids out) and put the kids to bed. It means that I get tomorrow night off. If it were on a Friday or weekend, then she would get her pick of morning afternoon or evening either Saturday or Sunday to leave me with the kids and responsible for meals. When I get home, she'll let me know when and what she'll be doing and I get to plan around that. Otherwise, we pretty much co-parent and share responsibilities.
We tend not to do things outside the family too often, but we're very flexible when we do want to do something and we make sure that we balance it out with the partner getting time off to do what they want.
Since we have young kids, if one of us wanted off for happy hour, it would mean they were not joining kids and the other parent for dinner. Our kids are not going to wait until after happy hour for dinner, so it means that parent is on their own for dinner.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:there's a middle ground. in my family it would be like this:
spouse A--hey, do you mind if I go to HH?
spouse B--sure, fine, should I wait for dinner for you?
Spouse a-yes, I'll be home by 7:30 or No, dont wait.
Spouse B--okay, text me before you leave
If, for some reason, 9 pm rolls around and spouse A hasn't come home? Spouse B--hey, are you okay? please let me know when you'l be home and take uber if you've been drinking.
Spouse b-sorry, leaving in 15 mins.
This isn't a good example of middle ground and in your example, you are more like OP than you think.
+ 1
A grown man must:
Ask for agreement
Establish a curfew
Call / text when en route home
Just put the ankle bracelet on him and make everyone happy.