Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 16:00     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
NP.

Why are the bitter assholes here pretending that it is not OK for people to seek to maximize their wealth in marrying? Marriage is not only a joining of hearts, it is also a merging of finances. What exactly is the point of having a partner if achieving an upper-middle-class lifestyle is entirely on the OP alone?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:58     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.

So, the issue here is not just his current salary and earning potential. It is that he made a very stupid choice regarding which degree to get and how much to spend on it, and that you are going to be on the hook for that if you marry him. Tread carefully.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:49     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.


It cost 180K for a masters in German? That is nuts. What do you do with a masters in German?


He does not really use his language and history skills. He works in compliance for a small company.


OP, why aren't you answering questions about your own earning potential and efforts to achieve the lifestyle you want?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:48     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's all very specific to your own situation.

Yes, millions have married low-earning spouses and it has turned out okay. There are also those who have married low-earners and it's turned out poorly.

What is your income like? What's the COL in your area? What kind of lifestyle do you want? What kind of lifestyle does he want? How many children?

No one can reassure you. You and your partner should discuss this together. Perhaps see a financial counselor.


I am currently between jobs as I was recently let go. I do not earn very much and did not focus on making a ton thinking it would fall on my husband when I eventually married.

I'd like a decent UMC lifestyle with 2 children. I realize with this man that seems out of the question. We will probably live a stressed out paycheck to paycheck life with maybe 1 kid?

Every relationship is a compromise right? No one is perfect.


Well, it's on you to make that happen. If you want a certain lifestyle, YOU have to earn it for yourself!
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:46     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.


It cost 180K for a masters in German? That is nuts. What do you do with a masters in German?


He does not really use his language and history skills. He works in compliance for a small company.


If he made a decision to spend 180K on a 1-2 year German degree, that raises questions. What are his money management skills like? If you have someone who is savvy with money, 90K can be worked with - if not it will be a disaster.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:45     Subject: Re:Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Makes me wonder how we are raising our girls, if a 29 year old woman has so little ambition and so much entitlement.


Errr ... do you SEE the posts from some of the SAHMs on here?


Yup, one every few days. . . for the sake of our future, I really hope they're troll posts.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:42     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.


It cost 180K for a masters in German? That is nuts. What do you do with a masters in German?


He does not really use his language and history skills. He works in compliance for a small company.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:40     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.


It cost 180K for a masters in German? That is nuts. What do you do with a masters in German?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:34     Subject: Re:Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
I would focus more on the type of spender he is- like does he spend all of his money? Does he have compatible financial views/habits to you? Those things are more of a challenge than just a lower income career- and I don't even think that is low LOL.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:29     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


He has a masters degree in German from an Ivy.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:14     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
Anonymous wrote:In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?


you can rack up that much in loans pretty easily even just at a private 4 year college. they don't necessarily have to be loans from professional school.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 15:04     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
In fairness, 180k of student loans is quite a burden for someone making 90k. I'm curious how that happened. Did he fail out of medical/law school?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 14:56     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
I married a teacher turned sahd.

And yes it turned out more than okay.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 14:52     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
I would not take on a partner with 180k in student loans. If you take on that much school debt you better have the income to back it up. Doesn't seem like a sharp guy. 90k and no loans, no problem. If he doesnt step it up, he will br saddled with those forever. Even of he pays doen 1k/mo that's 15 years and 45yrs old.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2017 14:50     Subject: Did anyone marry a low-earner DH and it turned out okay?
If are already feeling this way, OP, just move on. Don't marry potential. The worst thing you can do is marry some poor guy who can't live up to your expectations, only to despise him for it when he can't live up to your expectations.