I think the ES years are a lull. But, things get expensive fast in MS and HS. Some luxury, some not. ADHD kid at TJ. Best free public school in the nation. But, he can't do it without an executive functioning coach. With one, he can perform at a very high academic level. So is it optional? Yes, but... he gets an amazing education that is perfect for him for the $4000 a year we spend on tutoring. And of course a psychiatrist to manage meds (can't get a good one on health insurance). No sports, but serious musician. Private lessons, plus marching band, plus curricular band, plus concert outfit, plus traveling to marching competitions, plus, plus. It adds up fast. It's optional. But, he's very good at it, and loves it, and he needs to do something besides study if he wants to apply to good colleges. And every activity at the HS level is expensive.

He does not have a car, but we do have to carry auto insurance. She does have a cell phone. We are past the age of hand me down clothes.

But the kicker for us is that we never really lost childcare expenses. Once they started K, the aftercare was still expensive, and we used the difference for his 529. Once aftercare stopped, we upped the 529 contributions.

PP is right. Expenses like band and tutoring and music lessons are optional, and childcare is not. But, I wouldn't feel good about cutting anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are older now and the majority of our money spent on them is the costs associated with travel sports teams. It's not really the cost of the team as much as the trips out of town and hotels and food and flights etc. With 3 kids it's non stop.

For us they were expensive when they were babies until kindergarten. Then there was a few years where we got a bit of a break cost wise. Now we have 2 teens and a 10 year old and they're much more expensive than the baby phase.

I don't doubt 3 kids can add up but we are about to say good bye to our nanny as oldest heads for ft kindergarten. Does it cost you more than 55k annually? This year it cost about 45k for nanny and 11k for pt preshool (5 days for older and 1 day for younger). Next year with summer camps and 1 ft preschool tuition and 2 aftercare for both kids we'll probably save 15k. Once dc2 is in k we will save 22k. We have then both in classes and some summer camps even with nanny. This quarter I spent about 1000 for soccer, 2 lacrosse, ice skating, 2 swimming nd 3 gymnastic classes. Summer camp cost about 1500 total for 4 weeks for kid 1 and a week for 2nd kid.

I looked at our work dental insurance and for $10 per pay period, it will cover up to 5k in orthodontia for each kid, so that should help some. Although not looking forward to driving more I can't wait to see them get into their respective activities. Dc is really starting to live gymnastics and ice skating.

Most people, even with multiple kids, aren't spending nearly $5k/month on daycare in any given year -- you have a very expensive nanny. OPs post was about her $1200/month daycare, and that will likely be a wash. Your own numbers say that summer, camp, preschool, and 2 aftercare will be $15k, which works out to $800/kid/month -- add in a sport or lesson and you hit OP's daycare cost pretty quick.

So yes, if someone is really lavish in the infant years (all the gear and gadgets, breast feeding and formula feeding, nannies and night nurses), it will get cheaper. For most of us working stiffs with kids in plain old daycare, don't expect some bonanza of savings.

Anonymous wrote:I've read it too, but it's not true for us. The kids is a less picky eater now, the aftercare is only $200 and he is old enough to sit with me at work if needed. Doesn't care what he wears as long as the clothes are comfortable. He doesn't go to camps, summer is for doing nothing. Don't need a tutor and he has no expensive hobbies.

So you leave your kid alone all summer at home? Since he was 5 an in kindergarten?

$200 for aftercare is exceptionally cheap.

Most employers will frown about children at work, and some would even require you take leave.

I've read it too, but it's not true for us. The kids is a less picky eater now, the aftercare is only $200 and he is old enough to sit with me at work if needed. Doesn't care what he wears as long as the clothes are comfortable. He doesn't go to camps, summer is for doing nothing. Don't need a tutor and he has no expensive hobbies.

Anonymous wrote:We have one 14 year old. 7 weeks of camp this summer is $6000+. Her sport is $4000+ year. I won't count her private school since that is our choice. Clothing, shoes, uniform pieces, food, birthday gifts for friends bday parties (gone are the days when I could buy $1 Melissa & Doug toys at the consignment store), entertainment, etc. Much more expensive than daycare.

All of the above mentioned items are your choice! A 14 year old is old enough to have a job actually making money and certainly not in need of child care costing almost $900/week. It is amazing to me that so many people in the upper economic tiers can't seem to comprehend the difference between fixed child care expenses and pure luxury items.

We have one 14 year old. 7 weeks of camp this summer is $6000+. Her sport is $4000+ year. I won't count her private school since that is our choice. Clothing, shoes, uniform pieces, food, birthday gifts for friends bday parties (gone are the days when I could buy $1 Melissa & Doug toys at the consignment store), entertainment, etc. Much more expensive than daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What rubs me wrong about OP's original post is that she/he THINKs they know what to expect, but honestly, you have no idea. You can plan on saving $ when they start public school - but they need private. You can plan on only doing rec sports - but your kid is really good and loves it, so you end up on a travel team. You think you'll be fine in your apartment - then you realize you are all going crazy and end up buying a house. Shoes are really expensive, consignment stuff is less available, equipment costs more, and food costs are REAL.

I hope that your older kids don't cost more than your baby, but odds say that you will end up like most of us and end up spending more money on them than you planned.

we are Saved a lot of money in the baby and elementary school years, but that was mainly luck, having a sahm, and a fortuitous move to a lower cost of living area.

Yep. Good luck finding anything decent on consignment for kids between 8-12. I used to donate most of my son's school uniforms after he outgrew them, now they are TRASHED by the time he grows out of them, and sometimes need replacing mid-year! It's awful. They go through shoes crazy fast.

And sure, public school is cheaper than daycare, but somehow I'm not saving anymore of my money. My income is increasing, and my 401k is growing, but I'm still just not able to save money! It's outrageous.

I consign all my son's clothing that age. I get a decent price for it and usually about what I paid. He has rarely trashed or damaged his clothing. Maybe teach your kid to take care of things.

Anonymous wrote:What rubs me wrong about OP's original post is that she/he THINKs they know what to expect, but honestly, you have no idea. You can plan on saving $ when they start public school - but they need private. You can plan on only doing rec sports - but your kid is really good and loves it, so you end up on a travel team. You think you'll be fine in your apartment - then you realize you are all going crazy and end up buying a house. Shoes are really expensive, consignment stuff is less available, equipment costs more, and food costs are REAL.

I hope that your older kids don't cost more than your baby, but odds say that you will end up like most of us and end up spending more money on them than you planned.

we are Saved a lot of money in the baby and elementary school years, but that was mainly luck, having a sahm, and a fortuitous move to a lower cost of living area.

Yep. Good luck finding anything decent on consignment for kids between 8-12. I used to donate most of my son's school uniforms after he outgrew them, now they are TRASHED by the time he grows out of them, and sometimes need replacing mid-year! It's awful. They go through shoes crazy fast.

And sure, public school is cheaper than daycare, but somehow I'm not saving anymore of my money. My income is increasing, and my 401k is growing, but I'm still just not able to save money! It's outrageous.

Anonymous wrote:What rubs me wrong about OP's original post is that she/he THINKs they know what to expect, but honestly, you have no idea. You can plan on saving $ when they start public school - but they need private. You can plan on only doing rec sports - but your kid is really good and loves it, so you end up on a travel team. You think you'll be fine in your apartment - then you realize you are all going crazy and end up buying a house. Shoes are really expensive, consignment stuff is less available, equipment costs more, and food costs are REAL.

I hope that your older kids don't cost more than your baby, but odds say that you will end up like most of us and end up spending more money on them than you planned.

we are Saved a lot of money in the baby and elementary school years, but that was mainly luck, having a sahm, and a fortuitous move to a lower cost of living area.

Look, all you can do is make reasonable projections. And it's entirely reasonable to see how expensive daycare is compared to public school, and see that there will be considerable savings down the road. It's just math. Of course there can be emergencies and changes in plans (which is why I'd never counsel maxing out on a house, see the other threads!) But for the vast majority of us, the end of daycare means a chunk of change.

What rubs me wrong about OP's original post is that she/he THINKs they know what to expect, but honestly, you have no idea. You can plan on saving $ when they start public school - but they need private. You can plan on only doing rec sports - but your kid is really good and loves it, so you end up on a travel team. You think you'll be fine in your apartment - then you realize you are all going crazy and end up buying a house. Shoes are really expensive, consignment stuff is less available, equipment costs more, and food costs are REAL.

I hope that your older kids don't cost more than your baby, but odds say that you will end up like most of us and end up spending more money on them than you planned.

we are Saved a lot of money in the baby and elementary school years, but that was mainly luck, having a sahm, and a fortuitous move to a lower cost of living area.

You have no idea how much food a growing child can eat! Groceries are KILLER, especially once you get to the teen years (there's a reason my parents had a Costco membership with 3 teens).

It's not necessarily that you are paying more for ONE thing, but that you start to feel like an ATM machine because of how much you spend just to keep everyone alive/healthy/active.

I am a lawyer who works from home (solo practitioner). At one point I had 3 kids in daycare. What a financial nightmare! What has made life a lot cheaper now is that my kids don't really need aftercare. They come home from school at about 4pm and I can work for another hour-1.5 hours while they play, and then after bedtime. They know I am working and that I must be left alone. Of course, for the summer, they will need camps, but we do cheapo community center camps. They are 6,6, and 8. For me this age is much cheaper.

I have a 2 year old, and think that we're kind of in a "cheaper" phase -- far fewer diapers (soon to be none!), clothes last a few seasons now, his few activities are really cheap through the city parks programs, and his daycare costs have fallen since he's now with older kids. Still eats much less than a full-sized person, and can still be entertained by library books and the occasional new toy car. Plus, WE do a lot less now that he's this age because going to restaurants and bars with him is harder than it was when he was an infant.

So, I fully expect him to get more expensive on some dimensions while getting cheaper on others. If we do send him to public school, in our district we'd need to pay for after care and camps for summer and spring break, and almost inevitably some enrichment activities. His daycare now is $900/mo, and I can easily see those basic "care" expenses equaling that over the course of a year -- but everything else is going to get more expensive.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are older now and the majority of our money spent on them is the costs associated with travel sports teams. It's not really the cost of the team as much as the trips out of town and hotels and food and flights etc. With 3 kids it's non stop.

For us they were expensive when they were babies until kindergarten. Then there was a few years where we got a bit of a break cost wise. Now we have 2 teens and a 10 year old and they're much more expensive than the baby phase.

I don't doubt 3 kids can add up but we are about to say good bye to our nanny as oldest heads for ft kindergarten. Does it cost you more than 55k annually? This year it cost about 45k for nanny and 11k for pt preshool (5 days for older and 1 day for younger). Next year with summer camps and 1 ft preschool tuition and 2 aftercare for both kids we'll probably save 15k. Once dc2 is in k we will save 22k. We have then both in classes and some summer camps even with nanny. This quarter I spent about 1000 for soccer, 2 lacrosse, ice skating, 2 swimming nd 3 gymnastic classes. Summer camp cost about 1500 total for 4 weeks for kid 1 and a week for 2nd kid.

I looked at our work dental insurance and for $10 per pay period, it will cover up to 5k in orthodontia for each kid, so that should help some. Although not looking forward to driving more I can't wait to see them get into their respective activities. Dc is really starting to live gymnastics and ice skating.

Mine are older now and the majority of our money spent on them is the costs associated with travel sports teams. It's not really the cost of the team as much as the trips out of town and hotels and food and flights etc. With 3 kids it's non stop.

For us they were expensive when they were babies until kindergarten. Then there was a few years where we got a bit of a break cost wise. Now we have 2 teens and a 10 year old and they're much more expensive than the baby phase.