Infidelity is less about the specific activity and more about dishonesty and disconnecting. For some, porn does neither, for some porn does both. OP, only you know the circumstances relating to your question.

This reminds me of a talk show DW and I saw once where it was asked "is masterbation cheating?" The one's in the audience who raised their hands to vote "yes" were all overweight women. DW and I both thought this was ridiculous. DW has also seen this thread and thinks it's ridiculous.

OP you are never going to get a majority of people that think porn is cheating. When used in moderation it is a part of many many people's sexual experiences and is more often watched than not.

If it is a problem in your relationship, than it is a problem in your relationship. But porn itself simply can't be labeled infidelity when it is such a healthy and normal part of so many couple's sex lives (individually, couple, whatever). Infidelity is almost never a healthy and normal part of people's lives (especially if you don't include open relationships and the like in the definition).

I'm open minded, and generally think that porn is ok. There are many ways to CHEAT your spouse without cheating ON your spouse. In order for porn to cross that line, the following elements would have to be involved:

- lying
- takes something away that would otherwise be devoted to the relationship - time, affection, consideration, physical or emotional intimacy, and potentially money.
- is something that makes you feel less special or unimportant or degraded

Man and this is my take. Men are generally more interested in porn videos while women are more into erotic stories. Not true for everyone but most of the time. If my wife was ready these stories or even a 50 shades type thing that boosts her energy and interest in trying new things, I would be perfectly happy. And why not? I don't want some dead bedroom DCUM scenario. On the other hand, I can see that certain porn content if watched by me would freak her out and create an issue. For example and without being explicit, scenes involving total disrespect or practices considered extreme.

Anonymous wrote:No, but it's vulgar and disgusting, so it would be a deal-breaker.

You're supporting a really bad industry so that would be a deal breaker.
My ex sil got married and found a huge porn collection he had been hiding. She had younger kids and was horrified when she found it. My niece told me he went from the bed to the couch and out the door pretty fast. I always thought that was too funny when she told me the story. Also, his collection wasn't Playboy. It was offensive but I wonder how she missed that about his character.