Less educated

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From a southern friend of a friend's blog on the church in his southern state (i think this is a young minister). There's just so much wrong with this culture.
The church teachings amount to an emotional 'female genital circumcision/cutting' as these church people brainwash girls to believe that their own sexual pleasure is 'wrong'.

http://mashable.com/2016/07/07/vagina-is-a-sandwich-tweet/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#zoK2pa6Hhaqh


This is not a departure from the norm when it comes to how many church people talk about sex. It goes like this

1. Women, this one is really just for you because your sexuality is pretty much bad. Even in married life you should feel kinda bad for having (and, God forbid, liking sex).
2. Women, you will irreparably damage your body and soul if you have sex. Jesus forgives sins, but it's really hard for him to forgive people who have sex. Plus he doesn't like to.
3. Women, a good man will not want you if you have sex with people, and then where would you be? Remember your place in life entirely relies on a man to validate your existence.
4. Boys, your sexuality is basically good, but try not to let women destroy you with their bad sexuality.

My hope is that I am on the fringe in having experienced numerous purity talks that sound like this tweet, but I know too many people who have been hurt and trapped in guilt and shame because of this type of message.

Not much different than as each one involves girls not using their own genitals for sexual pleasure:

http://www.wusa9.com/mb/news/local/genital-mutilation-victims-break-their-silence-this-is-demonic/433630142


Not wanting to participate in this ignorant group freak show some of you call 'church' and 'being religious' doesn't make someone an atheist, it makes you someone that doesn't want to participate in an ignorant group freak show.

Why are you linking to an obscene pic of Taylor Swift’s vagina as a sandwich? I’d ask the moderator to delete but anything goes on the Religion forum so why bother.

Wow, that is not even a little bit a picture of Taylor Swift’s vagina, and pictures of sandwiches are not obscene. Perhaps you need to read the article instead of just look at the pictures?

Anonymous wrote:The populations of the southern states are much less educated and celebrate ignorance. I think it is as simple as that.

Nice. You’re not bigoted at all.

I’m curious where they rural small south towns are? Anyone care to name nearby areas?

Anonymous wrote:From a southern friend of a friend's blog on the church in his southern state (i think this is a young minister). There's just so much wrong with this culture.
The church teachings amount to an emotional 'female genital circumcision/cutting' as these church people brainwash girls to believe that their own sexual pleasure is 'wrong'.

http://mashable.com/2016/07/07/vagina-is-a-sandwich-tweet/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#zoK2pa6Hhaqh


This is not a departure from the norm when it comes to how many church people talk about sex. It goes like this

1. Women, this one is really just for you because your sexuality is pretty much bad. Even in married life you should feel kinda bad for having (and, God forbid, liking sex).
2. Women, you will irreparably damage your body and soul if you have sex. Jesus forgives sins, but it's really hard for him to forgive people who have sex. Plus he doesn't like to.
3. Women, a good man will not want you if you have sex with people, and then where would you be? Remember your place in life entirely relies on a man to validate your existence.
4. Boys, your sexuality is basically good, but try not to let women destroy you with their bad sexuality.

My hope is that I am on the fringe in having experienced numerous purity talks that sound like this tweet, but I know too many people who have been hurt and trapped in guilt and shame because of this type of message.

Not much different than as each one involves girls not using their own genitals for sexual pleasure:

http://www.wusa9.com/mb/news/local/genital-mutilation-victims-break-their-silence-this-is-demonic/433630142


Not wanting to participate in this ignorant group freak show some of you call 'church' and 'being religious' doesn't make someone an atheist, it makes you someone that doesn't want to participate in an ignorant group freak show.

Less than 5% of the US pop is pentacostal. 5.3% are southern Baptist. Typically, you claim this represents all churches or churchgoers. So typical of DCUM’s dishonest haters….

The populations of the southern states are much less educated and celebrate ignorance. I think it is as simple as that.

I grew up in the South. I grew up going to church but my family wasn't really religious; going to church was just what people did on Sunday mornings. In my family, we never talked about religion or God or Jesus at all, never prayed together besides saying a quick blessing before eating dinner, never read the Bible together, none of that. We just went to church on Sundays. It was more of a social/cultural expectation than being about religion for us. Now that my siblings and I are grown, none of us go to church any more, not even my parents.

Everyone I knew growing up went to church. I can't think of any of my friends, classmates (in public schools), or neighbors who didn't attend church. I didn't know anyone who was Jewish or Muslim or any other religions until I was in college. There was a lot of ethnic and racial diversity where I lived but hardly any cultural/religious diversity. About 80% of my classmates were African American, about 5% Asian American, and 15% white. The African American students mostly went to Baptist church or African Methodist Episcopal church or non-denominational Christian church. The Asian American students mostly went to Korean Baptist or else Presbyterian churches. And the white kids mostly went to Presbyterian, Methodist, or Southern Baptist church.

It just wasn't even a question that you went to church. The question when you first meet people isn't 'what do you do for a living?' it's 'where do you go to church?' Most people went multiple times per week (Sundays of course but also Wednesdays, some of the Episcopal kids I knew went Saturdays too). A lot of the African American kids I knew would be at church literally all day on Sundays-morning service, Sunday school, then they'd stay for 'fellowship'/lunch all afternoon and have another church service Sunday evenings.

Even though I went to public school, we did pray in school and before most school events/functions like sports games. School recitals/concerts almost always included religious songs/hymns. We had Christmas and Easter themed programs at school. This was in the 90s-early 00s.

Peer pressure. It’s how people in the lower middle class makes social acquaintances. They don’t have college friends like we do.

Anonymous wrote:From a southern friend of a friend's blog on the church in his southern state (i think this is a young minister). There's just so much wrong with this culture.
The church teachings amount to an emotional 'female genital circumcision/cutting' as these church people brainwash girls to believe that their own sexual pleasure is 'wrong'.

http://mashable.com/2016/07/07/vagina-is-a-sandwich-tweet/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#zoK2pa6Hhaqh


This is not a departure from the norm when it comes to how many church people talk about sex. It goes like this

1. Women, this one is really just for you because your sexuality is pretty much bad. Even in married life you should feel kinda bad for having (and, God forbid, liking sex).
2. Women, you will irreparably damage your body and soul if you have sex. Jesus forgives sins, but it's really hard for him to forgive people who have sex. Plus he doesn't like to.
3. Women, a good man will not want you if you have sex with people, and then where would you be? Remember your place in life entirely relies on a man to validate your existence.
4. Boys, your sexuality is basically good, but try not to let women destroy you with their bad sexuality.

My hope is that I am on the fringe in having experienced numerous purity talks that sound like this tweet, but I know too many people who have been hurt and trapped in guilt and shame because of this type of message.

Not much different than as each one involves girls not using their own genitals for sexual pleasure:

http://www.wusa9.com/mb/news/local/genital-mutilation-victims-break-their-silence-this-is-demonic/433630142


Not wanting to participate in this ignorant group freak show some of you call 'church' and 'being religious' doesn't make someone an atheist, it makes you someone that doesn't want to participate in an ignorant group freak show.

Why are you linking to an obscene pic of Taylor Swift’s vagina as a sandwich? I’d ask the moderator to delete but anything goes on the Religion forum so why bother.

Anonymous wrote:From a southern friend of a friend's blog on the church in his southern state (i think this is a young minister). There's just so much wrong with this culture.
The church teachings amount to an emotional 'female genital circumcision/cutting' as these church people brainwash girls to believe that their own sexual pleasure is 'wrong'.

http://mashable.com/2016/07/07/vagina-is-a-sandwich-tweet/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#zoK2pa6Hhaqh


This is not a departure from the norm when it comes to how many church people talk about sex. It goes like this

1. Women, this one is really just for you because your sexuality is pretty much bad. Even in married life you should feel kinda bad for having (and, God forbid, liking sex).
2. Women, you will irreparably damage your body and soul if you have sex. Jesus forgives sins, but it's really hard for him to forgive people who have sex. Plus he doesn't like to.
3. Women, a good man will not want you if you have sex with people, and then where would you be? Remember your place in life entirely relies on a man to validate your existence.
4. Boys, your sexuality is basically good, but try not to let women destroy you with their bad sexuality.

My hope is that I am on the fringe in having experienced numerous purity talks that sound like this tweet, but I know too many people who have been hurt and trapped in guilt and shame because of this type of message.

Not much different than as each one involves girls not using their own genitals for sexual pleasure:

http://www.wusa9.com/mb/news/local/genital-mutilation-victims-break-their-silence-this-is-demonic/433630142


Not wanting to participate in this ignorant group freak show some of you call 'church' and 'being religious' doesn't make someone an atheist, it makes you someone that doesn't want to participate in an ignorant group freak show.

Curious what do they say to the boys that says their sexuality is good or natural? In my religion sex outside of marriage was sinful but it was sinful for everyone. I didn't grasp the difference in teaching to each gender.

Southern culture is like this even in the North. I belonged to the NYC chapter of Sons of Confederate Veterans, an offshoot of the Virginia chapter. My family was Jewish and originally from Alabama. I was disappointed by how Christian the organization was. They seemed oblivious to the fact that many Jews fought for the South and that the second most powerful person in the South, the brains behind the Confederacy, Secretary of State Judah Benjamin, was Jewish. I was glad that the first flag carried in the parade of flags was the American flag, but was disappointed when the main speaker started off by saying "the Confederacy, the country that should have been!" I honor my great great grandfather for fighting in the war, but I'm glad his side lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a small town in Mississippi. People aren't necessarily "highly religious", although some are. The reason it appears that way is because church is like a social club. Even in high school, my life was about youth group and band. And they overlapped. While there was some religion, youth groups were mostly about hanging out with friends and going on great trips. We went skiing, to the beach, camping, white water rafting, to amusement parks, etc. The religious part was almost secondary. The same was true as an adult. All of our friends were from church. Wednesday night suppers, Sunday school parties, supper clubs,... Church was part of it, but it was also where we made friends. Where business connections were made. And where you knew you could find support in times of crisis.

I'm not suggesting those are bad reasons to be involved in church. But they have little to do with religion and spirituality.

Right. But if you don't conform, you're sort of a social outcast. It sucks if you don't feel like playing along. It's easy to say the religious aspects were secondary when you don't have opposing beliefs.

I felt like this living in Utah. We lived in an extremely Mormon community. Our neighbors/coworkers were all nice, pleasant people...but it's just uncomfortable when everyone else partakes/believes and you don't. Especially with something as important (to many, at least) as religion.

In law school I did a summer internship in Salt Lake City and definitely felt like an outcast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing. It sounds like it could create a lot of stress for kids if they didn't share those beliefs. Was that in the South?

Np here. I don't think it would cause stress.
Just a fact of navigating it.

You're usually in the literal and figurative clubs. Or you're not. And everyone knows where you stand pretty much. And everyone knows if you are religious but being wayward anyway.

What about the slut shaming the PP described? That would stress me out if it happened to me or even if I thought it could happen to me.

Eh - I'd rather go for the slut shaming than participate in that stupid trash. Bring on the slutting!

Geez. I grew up in DC and my mother dragged me to church every darned Sunday but i just couldn't get anything out of it. I'm a pretty moral and good person but I didnt like the sexism and hippocracy of the church (the meanest most self centered people go to church the most), didn't get anything out of praying, and I dont 'fear anything' including god. I don't understand people who go for all of this stuff verbatim. Not even 15 years of Catholic school could make me a robot - I'd much rather be known as a slut.

Don't get it. And yes we have religious relations in the south and they say ignorant off the wall things - it's really like they are in a cult.

I think part of what people who didn't grow up in a small, rural community tend to miss is that it is much harder to blend in and not be noticed as it is in more densely populated areas. Your absence or lack of participation is much more obvious when there are fewer people an the community is more insular. My DH was raised in a rural, Southern community, and what kept him toeing the line was not his neighbors' perceptions of HIM but rather the judgment and blowback from his lack of belief on his mother. People whose children didn't play the game were publicly prayed for and there was definitely questioning of their parenting skills. These are people who look skeptically upon Catholics, think Mormonism is a cult, to say nothing of Jews and Muslims (whom they cannot differentiate from Sikhs and Hindus). My father-in-law is agnostic at best, and that gave DH someone to relate to and an outlet for his faith-doubting. But FIL's lack of church attendance and being "saved" was not unnoticed and had consequences. HE didn't care, but my MIL worries more about the perceptions, and, of course, about his soul.

I grew up in a large, suburban area in the south, and it was very different. There is a huge church community, but a wide array of faiths (Christian and not) and a lot less emphasis on being "saved". I had no idea what being saved meant until I was in high school, and, when my MIL called my husband to tell him our nephew had been saved, it was odd to me because I didn't get what a huge thing this was in their community. When she excitedly got started, I thought that someone in their family had had a medical event or something given her tone. She worries a lot about our souls, we have a don't-ask-don't-tell policy on our lack of belief/church attendance and the variety of religions in which my family members participate (at last count, we had a few United Methodists (who do baptism/confirmation and not "saving"), a Jew, a Mormon, a Jehovah's Witness, and a couple of Buddhists).

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South as a child of immigrants and we are not Christian. It was awful.

The whole "being saved" is really a thing and people are not shy to tell you that you will be going to hell since you refuse to allow them to help you be "saved".

Yes to the Christian clubs in school being the most popular. Yes, the first thing strangers ask you is "what church do you attend?". Lots of invites from so called friends to go to church with them. Not just the sermons but to all the social things. And there are a LOT of social events. Ski trips, Lock-Ins, 'fun' bible study, carnivals, etc. All with the angle to "save" the lost souls that will otherwise wind up in hell.

During Halloween, everyone of those haunted houses or haunted tour things ended with the last room being a place where you get rounded up and are preached to about salvation and accepting Jesus. These are big events that are advertised heavily on regular top 40 radio stations, but none of the ads tell you what to expect at the end. The first time this happened to me I was completely taken aback and actually quite scared because it was so unexpected.

It's completely socially acceptable to ostracize those in the community that do not want to be 'saved'. These people become the outcasts.

So sorry this happened to you, but thanks for telling us about it. How along ago did this happen. Do you think it's still going on?

I grew up in the South as a child of immigrants and we are not Christian. It was awful.

The whole "being saved" is really a thing and people are not shy to tell you that you will be going to hell since you refuse to allow them to help you be "saved".

Yes to the Christian clubs in school being the most popular. Yes, the first thing strangers ask you is "what church do you attend?". Lots of invites from so called friends to go to church with them. Not just the sermons but to all the social things. And there are a LOT of social events. Ski trips, Lock-Ins, 'fun' bible study, carnivals, etc. All with the angle to "save" the lost souls that will otherwise wind up in hell.

During Halloween, everyone of those haunted houses or haunted tour things ended with the last room being a place where you get rounded up and are preached to about salvation and accepting Jesus. These are big events that are advertised heavily on regular top 40 radio stations, but none of the ads tell you what to expect at the end. The first time this happened to me I was completely taken aback and actually quite scared because it was so unexpected.

It's completely socially acceptable to ostracize those in the community that do not want to be 'saved'. These people become the outcasts.