Anonymous
04/10/2017 09:36
Subject: Curfew for my 20 y/o living at home?
Anonymous wrote:This has to be a troll!!
When visiting my parents, we can't stay out past midnight. It's my parents rules and it drives me insane. They say that if we're out later it wakes us up. I don't mind it so much now that we have kids and we're older, but still annoying. 8pm would be a deal breaker.
WTH? How old are you? Are you leaving your kids with them to watch?
Anonymous
04/10/2017 09:00
Subject: Curfew for my 20 y/o living at home?
This has to be a troll!!
When visiting my parents, we can't stay out past midnight. It's my parents rules and it drives me insane. They say that if we're out later it wakes us up. I don't mind it so much now that we have kids and we're older, but still annoying. 8pm would be a deal breaker.
When visiting my parents, we can't stay out past midnight. It's my parents rules and it drives me insane. They say that if we're out later it wakes us up. I don't mind it so much now that we have kids and we're older, but still annoying. 8pm would be a deal breaker.
Anonymous
04/10/2017 08:56
Subject: Curfew for my 20 y/o living at home?
I think we're conflating a number of things here. I bet most posters live in upscale areas of the city and their kid would be driving home into a nice driveway. If that's the case in this situation, then my personal rule would be "midnight unless you let me know (before I go to sleep) that it will be later." That's just a courtesy so I don't worry when I realize she isn't home at 2am. In the case of post-midnight, I'd probably ask who she would be with, etc. (I may even text her along the way to make sure everything is fine.)
If she would be taking metro/bus home, then I'm with the poster-- Depending on the amount of street traffic, I don't walk home from the metro after dark and I wouldn't want my daughter to, no matter her age. In that case, I'd suggest figuring out a protocol. For instance, agreeing on a spot that is safe after dark to catch an Uber agreeing to pay for her to Uber home. (Or if you don't trust Uber, then suggesting she take metro to a hotel and catch a taxi from there?) Or agreeing that she has to Uber/taxi with someone else.
A 20 year old really can't be expected to be home by 8 every night, but in a city, there are very real safety precautions to think of.
If she would be taking metro/bus home, then I'm with the poster-- Depending on the amount of street traffic, I don't walk home from the metro after dark and I wouldn't want my daughter to, no matter her age. In that case, I'd suggest figuring out a protocol. For instance, agreeing on a spot that is safe after dark to catch an Uber agreeing to pay for her to Uber home. (Or if you don't trust Uber, then suggesting she take metro to a hotel and catch a taxi from there?) Or agreeing that she has to Uber/taxi with someone else.
A 20 year old really can't be expected to be home by 8 every night, but in a city, there are very real safety precautions to think of.
Anonymous
04/10/2017 01:53
Subject: Curfew for my 20 y/o living at home?
OP, where do you live? You say DD doesn't have a car, so if you live in a rough area of a city, it is legitimate to be concerned about a young woman taking public transportation and walking the streets alone after dark. It's not so much a question of curfew as of teaching DD to exercise good judgment. It's important to help our children learn street smarts and how to mitigate risks - and that works a lot better than simply saying "no" and fruitlessly trying to impose that from the top down.