DH and I are both 41. We hit $1M combined in our 401(k) right when we turned 40 - it was a goal of ours. We both have been contributing the max for at least 10 years, and started contributing right out of college.

Right now, our accounts look like:
Me (DW): $610K IRA, $25K in 401(k) - Started a new job last year. Had great matching at prior job.
DH: $500K IRA, $60K in 401(k)
We also have $35K in stocks, $50K in cash, $60K in 529s for 2 kids (5 and 9) and some restricted employer stocks.

OK, I'll give a non-braggy one. Which is funny because I'm actually pretty proud of how we're doing; I grew up poor and earn 60k a year (DH makes around 110k).

I'm 39 with 102k in my retirement account. DH is 49 and has about 300k in his. We have a small house in DC with about 300k in equity. $7,000 total in our 529s.

We will never be rich and our kids will have to take out loans for college but we save until it hurts--not sure what more we could do.

Anonymous wrote:"Saving" money is vulgar. I have, however, created a series of income streams that will result in myself, my spouse, my children, my grandchildren, and my great grandchildren never having to work.

I did this shortly after turning 39.

What income streams have provided this multi-generational wealth? Sounds pretty unlikely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

I'm one who didn't answer individually earlier and just said 500k combined 401k/IRA retirement savings with DH. Even though my 401k/IRA balance is $430k and his IRA is at $70k, we view the retirement funds as ours. I have a 401k at work and max it out and he's never had a 401k.

Then again, we're a couple who pools our income and assets and neither of us would expect the other to be responsible for specific bills like childcare.

43 - 863k in 401k

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

My theories would be:

1) Maybe the men get started saving earlier while the women party on in their 20s?
2) Women take time out from work to care for children -- opportunity cost.
3) Yes, salary disparity.

I doubt it's "additional bills."

Don't think No 1 is the case - women have been shown to be savers more than men even at young ages. Though I do think disproportionately more men go into engineering and finance and start career jobs at 22, while more women get liberal arts degrees and start in lower paid office jobs as they find their career ladder; those yrs in your 20s matter. And then when there are babies - far more women can't or won't travel, need to be done work at 5 pm, and now more and more require 1-2 days of work from home per week. You just can't do that and expect your salary to grow as fast as men who will travel many days per month or week, can stay late or work a weekend anytime, and don't seek work from home situations. I think more 10-20 yrs that leads to DHs having bigger 401ks. I do know a few households where daycare bills fall on the wife -- it's seen as her expense so she can work, so then there's even less chance to max out while the DH leaves his contributions untouched.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

My theories would be:

1) Maybe the men get started saving earlier while the women party on in their 20s?
2) Women take time out from work to care for children -- opportunity cost.
3) Yes, salary disparity.

I doubt it's "additional bills."

Anonymous wrote:It's a PRE NUMP
not a prenump

Who cares?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and have only $119k in my 401k and we have $20k in savings. Very little debt, but also don't own a house (we rent). We have had to dip into retirement accounts several times due to medical issue with one of our kids. We are paying for 2 other kids in college out of pocket without dipping into those amounts. My husband has little in his plan.
Having a sick kid has killed us financially but we are doing the best we can. It's pretty terrifying.

Dumb move. Every spare penny you have should be going towards retirement.

DP.. that's harsh, but yes, PP should be putting max into retirement. For college, your DCs can always get loans; not ideal, but possible. You, oth, no one will loan you money for retirement.

If you have a high deductible health insurance plan, open an HSA and max it out. It probably won't pay for all the medical expenses, but it's tax deductible. Every bit will help.

Forget about trying to save or pay for college right now. Medical costs and your retirement should take precedence.

We don't have uncovered med expenses now- we have good insurance now. The medical debt was from years of uncovered medical bills when we were very young and our daughter was young. When she was 3 we owed nearly 200k in medical bills - we werent even 30 yet. We've paid it off over time but at times it nearly bankrupted us.
I do max out my 401k and thankfully the 2 kids got a lot of merit aid and the college bills aren't bad. We just had a rough first 10 years with our daughter and even though we are financially sound now, we are behind for sure. We are working on getting the savings up to ensure we have six months of savings to live on just in case one of us ever loses our job. Then my husband will max his 401k out too. And once we turn 50 we will do the max plus catch up max.

Anonymous wrote:It's a PRE NUMP
not a prenump

Oh, PP... Shaking my head.

It's a PRE NUMP
not a prenump

Anonymous wrote:DH has about $400k in his TSP. We contribute the max now. We have about $8,000 in savings. No debt other than our home (nearly paid off) and a small car note. Thankfully, DH has a decent pension. We are 50 and getting close to retirement age. I SAH. Four kids through college. One about to leave for college.

I think we are doing ok considering some set backs several years ago. TSP + Pension + social security = comfortable retirement.

Well done

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

And when the divorce comes, mothers are much more likely to prioritize staying in the marital home or obtaining promises of college funding from their exes, and give up valuable pension and/or retirement funds in exchange. This is why many more women are living on razor thin margins in retirement than men.

I can only speak from experience living in Virginia. My parents divorced when we were in high school. My mom got half of everything, she even gets some of his SS when he dies even though he is remarried. He also had to pay for our college (part of the settlement).

She walked away with almost 7 figures in retirement, half the proceeds of the sale of the house, half of ALL taxable investments, the dog and the kids. 19years later she has a modest admin job, no mortgage to speak of, that retirement has sat there for 18years and has had compounded and is now over 7 figures. She also hasn't touched the taxable investments which has also doubled.

In Virginia, everything gets split in half. No questions asked. No fight, unless you have a prenump. Yes, my dad is better off because he has a career, but she didnt gwt screwed.

b

1. I have no idea why your mom would share such specific info with you about her divorce settlement.

2. Your statement is wrong. VA isn't a community property state. It is an equitable distribution state.

I help her balance all of her investments. Made her 16% in 2016 accross everything, retirement went up 200k. Went very bullish and it paid off. More conservative this year. I know exactly what she started with, exactly where is all is and exactly how fast its growing, so of course i know all of the specifics of what she walked away with.

It is great knoeing my mom will never have to worry about money. She is now 62, and still working, she makes only 45k/yr as basically a receptionist, but loves it.

Me, 39: TSP = $273k, Roth IRA = $125k
DH, 41: TSP = $255k, Roth IRA = $116k

2 kids (age 5 and 2), we have about $45k saved in 529 plans

Cash savings = $30k

We also have an additional $140k in stocks and mutual funds

At 40, I had about 500K in my tsp. Tapped a bit of it later for a residential loan for a down payment. I'm a fed lifer.