OP again, just to add that part of setting boundaries is helping DD learn organize her things so she has her own baseline room tidiness, not putting it all on those who help us around the house.

OP here, this last post has me a little sad as I previous posts made me optimistic we could rebuild it. We are actually temporarily overseas, so I am trying not to be mad at our local nanny even though I asked her not to touch the lego set and my daughter asked her to stop before she put the pieces away. Seems something was lost in translation, but we need to be clearer about respecting boundries. Based on this DCUM input (thanks everyone!) I am not buying a new set during the work trip I am on now (these things are not available in the country we live in), and am blocking out some time without my other children around to try and find all the pieces with DD. If that doesn't work out I may buy a new set when I have the opportunity in a month or so. Wouldn't normally be so indulgent, but she has literally wanted this for years and was so excited to get it for her 8th birthday. The set we have is about 30% built with 4 out of 11 bags of pieces unopened, so maybe there is hope to find the missing pieces.

My DD laboriously built the lego hotel - it was honestly a complicated and unique set with tons of little details. A friend of hers two year old brother ended up breaking much of it a month or two later. DD was really upset - she was very proud of having built it, had been carefully keeping it in tact. and enjoyed carefully playing with it from time to time. We tried reassembling but found it incredibly hard b/c there were so many small details and if you can't find one or two key pieces you're screwed. Our kids are big lego fans - both sets and free play. Generally sets end up in buckets for free use after a while but there are a few pride sets. I literally feel your pain about seeing your kid work hard at something and not be able to finish it. We've reconstructed other sets but for this one, is give up. Sorry.

Also to everyone arguing that these sets kill creativity - seriously? They are so much fun and so much of the fun is learning how the parts all fit together, playing with the set after, and making your own creative modifications. Everything in moderation ...

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is a simple problem to solve. Not as if there is a list and pictures of the specific lego pieces.

I would buy another set, and use that set to locate the pieces within the big bin.

End result, you will have 2 sets and can donate one.

The instructions often do have a list of the specific lego pieces with pictures in the back. This happened to us once with a Star Wars set and DH and DC spent the better part of the day sifting through legos to recreate the set but were able to do it (also at least some of the pieces will be fungible with other sets). I'd help your DD do that. Also going forward lay down some rules and be clear with everyone on clean up (i.e., legos in progress on this one table should be left out for building but anything else is fair game for clean up and should be cleaned up by DD when done for the day. Also we store certain big sets in their original boxes separate from the general big bins of legos to avoid this issue).

Anonymous wrote:Long term solution: stop buying toys that need to be played with in such specific ways. You're building a lifetime of neuroticism.

This!!

Anonymous wrote:This research shows that " structured block play has intellectual benefits. It makes sense that copying models would improve a child’s ability to analyze spatial relationships."

http://www.parentingscience.com/Lego-bricks-construction-toys-and-STEM-skills.html

"Research" an AP mommy blog is not research.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find people who buy these sets (hotel, amusement park) usually have passive boring kids.

And I find these type of comments so odd. And silly in their generalizations based on their own, limited experience. I once heard someone say that they find woman who take their husband's last name once married as woman who are not very interesting. Such silly comments.

You use silly twice but don't make a real argument to come back. And what a strange non sequitur, this hits close to home?

This research shows that " structured block play has intellectual benefits. It makes sense that copying models would improve a child’s ability to analyze spatial relationships."

http://www.parentingscience.com/Lego-bricks-construction-toys-and-STEM-skills.html

Anonymous wrote:I find people who buy these sets (hotel, amusement park) usually have passive boring kids.

Just the opposite!!

My girls LOVE lego friends and have built many of the sets. Then they use their imagination and make up stories using their sets.

OMG! Do NOT be mad at this nanny.

Oh my. We have all our Legos in one bin and from time to time my son wants to re-build something. We pull out the directions and sift through them all. It is not that hard. Have the nanny help.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of nanny doesn't know not to do this?

What kind of parents have a nanny to cleanup after them?

Jeez, finding the pieces from the giant box is half the fun. It's so boring to put together the first time when there's no hunting or sorting.

I seriously am surprised so many people would be mad at the nanny for cleaning up. At 8, your daughter is old enough to say, "this one is special, please leave it out."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just turned 8 and has been wanting the lego friends hotel for years. She finally got it for her 8th birthday. Fast forward two days later, DD has been happily building and nanny dumps all the pieces into the bins of lego parts, making them pretty much impossible to find and assemble into the different pieces of the hotel. Poor DD is heartbroken about this. I am contemplating buying the hotel set again, but wondering if that is ridiculous. This is about $100... but I feel so bad she has been looking forward to building this for so long and didn't really get to enjoy it. WWYD?

So take the time to find the pieces with your kid. You would seriously buy another set when this is such a simple problem to solve? Tedious, but simple. No wonder people in the workplace don't have problem solving skills.

+1