Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 there shouldn't be any parents milling around.
Maybe your mom to help or one close parent friend.

Just write. Drop off at 10am, pick up at 2pm.
Lunch and cake.

No siblings.

OP here. We are friendly with several of the families. Half are classmates. Half are people we hang out as families and/or do play dates regularly including our other children. I just don't want the siblings around for the activity. I don't mind if they come at 5 to hang out and eat. I don't want to make the invitation too confusing though.

Party time will be 2:30-4:30 or 3-5. I was leaning towards 3-5 and serving food at 4:30.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

I am seeing why your friend is enforcing boundaries. You are a pain in the neck to interact with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just decline if you don't want to go. I think that's fine.

Here is my own odd no siblings story. My kids went to a Montessori school and they are 1 year apart, so they were basically in the same classroom, playing with the same kids, etc. for about two years. For some reason, they were always invited to parties separately with one being invited and one not. I couldn't figure out the pattern. It wasn't sex or age because my older DD was invited to parties for boys that were the same age as my son. And vice versa. I just chalked it up to parents asking their kids who they wanted to come and either kid being left off the list. The big thing is that we didn't attend these parties because I didn't want to introduce a dynamic -- why doesn't Larla like me or Larlo like me, etc. I just declined and kept it moving because in the big scheme of things it's a huge nothingburger.

Montessori classes tend to be larger. I'm sure birthday child just picked the friends s/he wanted. Don't think there is anything strange about it.

I declined some preschool birthday parties when it just wasn't worth the tears of younger child of not being able to attend, especially if it was a child we had no relationship with. We don't have that problem now that kids are in elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:OP, just decline if you don't want to go. I think that's fine.

Here is my own odd no siblings story. My kids went to a Montessori school and they are 1 year apart, so they were basically in the same classroom, playing with the same kids, etc. for about two years. For some reason, they were always invited to parties separately with one being invited and one not. I couldn't figure out the pattern. It wasn't sex or age because my older DD was invited to parties for boys that were the same age as my son. And vice versa. I just chalked it up to parents asking their kids who they wanted to come and either kid being left off the list. The big thing is that we didn't attend these parties because I didn't want to introduce a dynamic -- why doesn't Larla like me or Larlo like me, etc. I just declined and kept it moving because in the big scheme of things it's a huge nothingburger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are family friends. This is a pin the tail on the donkey party with neighbors. The younger child has spent countless hours over there and we are all friends. They do not go to school together. It's only moms because the hostess is a single mom. Otherwise dads would probably come, but the vibe over there is not that dad friendly. It's not laser tag. It's someone's house she is normally invited to and now she's being left out. My husband, who is very very low drama, is more annoyed than I am about this.

None of this matters.

She is not invited and that is the family's prerogative.

You are being rude in trying to tell them how to do their (*their*) social event.

Yeah, I guess. I thought we were closer friends than I think we are. I had just finished helping her get into a therapist I know for her daughter and we had been dealing with some fairly personal issues. It felt natural to just say both girls are free (she had called to ask about the date-like we are close enough that she wouldn't hold the party when we weren't available) and if you would invite them both, i would hang out during and bring some adult drinks. Oh well. I suppose I am the rude one. I will be with my younger child now instead of us all going. We all used to hang out there a lot until we moved one neighborhood away. I can't imagine paying a sitter or asking my husband to reschedule plans so we will play by the rules and just drop off the older one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

OP here. I don't care about cost. It is about the mess and would like to keep organized chaos to a minimum. If it was a venue party, I would be more lenient about siblings because we could just pay $20-30 per extra kid. I care more about keeping headcount small because it is at our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

OP here. I don't care about cost. It is about the mess and would like to keep organized chaos to a minimum. If it was a venue party, I would be more lenient about siblings because we could just pay $20-30 per extra kid. I care more about keeping headcount small because it is at our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

I am seeing why your friend is enforcing boundaries. You are a pain in the neck to interact with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are family friends. This is a pin the tail on the donkey party with neighbors. The younger child has spent countless hours over there and we are all friends. They do not go to school together. It's only moms because the hostess is a single mom. Otherwise dads would probably come, but the vibe over there is not that dad friendly. It's not laser tag. It's someone's house she is normally invited to and now she's being left out. My husband, who is very very low drama, is more annoyed than I am about this.

None of this matters.

She is not invited and that is the family's prerogative.

You are being rude in trying to tell them how to do their (*their*) social event.

Yeah, I guess. I thought we were closer friends than I think we are. I had just finished helping her get into a therapist I know for her daughter and we had been dealing with some fairly personal issues. It felt natural to just say both girls are free (she had called to ask about the date-like we are close enough that she wouldn't hold the party when we weren't available) and if you would invite them both, i would hang out during and bring some adult drinks. Oh well. I suppose I am the rude one. I will be with my younger child now instead of us all going. We all used to hang out there a lot until we moved one neighborhood away. I can't imagine paying a sitter or asking my husband to reschedule plans so we will play by the rules and just drop off the older one.