Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ten isn't old. Why is everyone so desperate for their kids to grow up? :-/

Why are parents so desperate for their big kids to believe in it??
I adore the magic of Santa. But kids don’t “grow up” when they learn the truth. They remain kids. It’s not a marker of adulthood.

So if it isn’t a marker of growing up, why does it matter if they believe for longer? My 11 year old either believes or wants us to believe she does. So we let her. I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:
I know many of you will hate this, but we have always told our kids that Santa was pretend. It doesn't ruin the magic because we still talk about Santa and give gifts from him. When my kids were younger, they kind of convinced themselves for a while that Santa was real despite the way we had framed it. We didn't correct them but periodically reminded that he was pretend and always answered honestly when asked. The one trick has been telling them not to tell others, but since we always framed it as a fun story, they never really have felt like they needed to discuss with anyone whether Santa was or wasn't real. They play and watch pretend characters all the time in videos and books, so I don't think it's that odd to have a pretend character at the holidays.

This is exactly what we did. We would remind the kids in the summertime that Santa was pretend, but they wanted to play along at Christmas time and would wonder what Santa would bring (sometimes with a wink). They loved Christmas just as much and never ruined it for anyone else because they liked to play the Santa game too.

Like a PP I hated having to pretend I didn't "know" so I wouldnt hurt my mom's feelings, as she was very invested in making sure all her kids believed. It became more about making sure my mother enjoyed Christmas, and I had to play along through college. It made things tense around Christmas time because we kids had to make sure we didn't let anything slip to my mom, even when the youngest of us was in high school!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably knows the truth and is just playing along for your sake and/or to get more presents.

This. My 10 yr old told me that he was faking believing for the last couple of years because he didn't want ME to be sad! Also, he said, it's more fun to believe. What your kids say to you might be different than what they say on the playground, etc.

+1

I hated having to pretend Santa was real, but I kept up the charade for my mom.

Anonymous wrote:Ten isn't old. Why is everyone so desperate for their kids to grow up? :-/

Why are parents so desperate for their big kids to believe in it??
I adore the magic of Santa. But kids don’t “grow up” when they learn the truth. They remain kids. It’s not a marker of adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:She probably knows the truth and is just playing along for your sake and/or to get more presents.

This. My 10 yr old told me that he was faking believing for the last couple of years because he didn't want ME to be sad! Also, he said, it's more fun to believe. What your kids say to you might be different than what they say on the playground, etc.

My son asked, Is Santa real. I'm honest and don't like so I said it's not real but we like to believe he's real because sometimes we want to believe in miracles.

Ten isn't old. Why is everyone so desperate for their kids to grow up? :-/

My 10 yo son still believes. I think in part because he is sure he saw Santa last year and a minute later the gifts were out. He is still super into the elf on the shelf as well. I can remember as a kid in 2nd or 3rd grade questioning it....but then my mom let it slip to me via telling me the Easter Bunny wasn’t real and I can still remember the terrible conversation about it. So as long as he believes I will be holding out telling him

Anonymous wrote:Do I tell her he's not real or just wait it out and hope no one from school makes fun of her or spills the beans? I have to confess I totally love that we get another year of Santa, but I don't know if I should tell or not. She does have some cognitive issues/LDs so she hasn't put together the logic part of it (a man going around the world in one night delivering toys, flying reindeer, etc.) which is how I and I think most kids figure it out. WWYD?

I would let her be. Anecdotally, I don't know if LD has to do with it. I was very academically advanced, skipped 5th grade, ended up at an Ivy, but I still believed in Santa around 9, 10. I tested it out too, by not telling anyone, especially my mom, what I wanted for Xmas. But when Santa delivered that precise present, I continued to believe in Santa and went back to school to tell the kids about it. I don't recall how I learned it wasn't for real, just this one anecdote.

But if you want to tell her, it's fine too. she enjoyed it all these years.

I think my 9 yo still believes, or he wants us to think he does.
I figured it out around age 7/8 but never said anything to my parents about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I told my then 13 year old (I thought he already knew), I saw the crushed look on his face and it made me realize how innocent children are.

Ok, this makes me so sad! This tells me that parents go way far beyond with the Santa charade. If we didn’t do all these little things—notes, reindeer food, apps that show Santa came—then maybe the kids wouldn’t have been sooo convinced.

What are those? Never heard of them, but it sounds like a good idea. )

Anonymous wrote:When I told my then 13 year old (I thought he already knew), I saw the crushed look on his face and it made me realize how innocent children are.

Ok, this makes me so sad! This tells me that parents go way far beyond with the Santa charade. If we didn’t do all these little things—notes, reindeer food, apps that show Santa came—then maybe the kids wouldn’t have been sooo convinced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The rule in our house is that those who don't believe in Santa, don't get gifts.

I have twin 9 year olds -- one is on the fence, and one either still believes or is really good about not showing she doesn't believe. Regardless, it keeps the magic in Christmas. And I'll do it until I leave this life.

Gross.

I'm the PP who keeps up the charade, but I'd never be such a sick twisted cu%t and deny gifts in the spirit of being controlling.

You are foul.

Whoa. You need to calm down and not be so hateful. A lot of us disagree with you.

I’ve known since I was 4, when my older sib told me Santa wasn’t real. I remember feeling slightly disappointed at the time, but I still loved Christmas growing up. My family was mainstream Protestant but fairly religious and always emphasized those aspects, so Santa was never a big deal.

I’m surprised that people here are saying their tweens and even teens believe in Santa Claus?! That really seems implausible. When I was growing up, I remember classmates laughing about a kid who was 9 and still believed in Santa Claus. How have these kids not encountered classmates who told them Santa’s not real?

My 7yo is on the fence (I never pushed Santa, but spouse did somewhat). I think she knows the truth but wants to believe, which is fine, although I’ll tell her the truth if she asks.