Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 12:11     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.


that makes me sad


I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 12:10     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

I'm sorry.


Thanks. It's not great. We've had discussions about low frequency being a problem in our marriage. Theoretically, she thinks that once a week would be a healthy frequency. In practice, this hasn't happened. I asked her to read a book I thought would be helpful; she read about 30 pages and now it's gone unread for a few months.

I posted in one of the other threads about how this has led to increased porn use by me, which - as I age - seems to be leading to some performance issues on my part. That, in turn, makes the sex not great and, I can see a downward spiral emerging. If I only have sex once a month, I feel the pressure to knock it out of the park whenever I get the opportunity. When that doesn't happen, I have another month to dwell on it. So, maybe we'll have to give scheduling a try. I'm not sure if she'll be up for it or if she'll regard it as pressure on her end that will make sex less enjoyable.


Hi friend. Most married men with kids don't have a lot of sex, join the club.

We schedule. It helps, a lot. For me, its not the porn or masturbation that affects performance. Its the time between last ejaculation. If its been a day, especially two days, I have the performance of a teenager. Scheduling lets me save my energy for my wife for the scheduled day. Then I don't have to be caught with an unloaded gun in the days after the scheduled date, and my wife doesn't have to worry about me trying to have sex with her.

Aside - I assume women reading us loser men whose wives don't want to sleep with them picture us old and fat, and the irony is I am none of those things, and neither are my friends in the same boat. There is no way to tell pre-marriage who married the woman with the independent sex drive and who married the woman with the fragile sex drive that dies with exhaustion, kids, familiarity, and all those things my wife can't control.


You want some real irony? My husband has gotten fat - 40 pounds up since our marriage - and yet he gets all the sex he wants. Just because I'm high drive. I would have sex 5X a week if he wanted to, but he doesn't. Ironic.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 12:07     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:Relevant here: in Outlook you can assign someone a recurring task of High Importance and it will track percentage of completion.


I love this!!
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 12:03     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.


That's all? that tracking record seems depressing. I'd rather not know how often I didn't have sex if I were in your position.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 11:55     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.


that makes me sad
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 11:46     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

I'm sorry.


Thanks. It's not great. We've had discussions about low frequency being a problem in our marriage. Theoretically, she thinks that once a week would be a healthy frequency. In practice, this hasn't happened. I asked her to read a book I thought would be helpful; she read about 30 pages and now it's gone unread for a few months.

I posted in one of the other threads about how this has led to increased porn use by me, which - as I age - seems to be leading to some performance issues on my part. That, in turn, makes the sex not great and, I can see a downward spiral emerging. If I only have sex once a month, I feel the pressure to knock it out of the park whenever I get the opportunity. When that doesn't happen, I have another month to dwell on it. So, maybe we'll have to give scheduling a try. I'm not sure if she'll be up for it or if she'll regard it as pressure on her end that will make sex less enjoyable.

I'm one of the PPs from the other thread. You and I are in exactly the same situation. We talk about it, she'll work on it, nothing changes, so we talk about it again. We'll keep at it and I'll keep trying to avoid the porn usage since that kills my chances of success if she surprises me by being ready to go one night.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 11:36     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

I'm sorry.


Thanks. It's not great. We've had discussions about low frequency being a problem in our marriage. Theoretically, she thinks that once a week would be a healthy frequency. In practice, this hasn't happened. I asked her to read a book I thought would be helpful; she read about 30 pages and now it's gone unread for a few months.

I posted in one of the other threads about how this has led to increased porn use by me, which - as I age - seems to be leading to some performance issues on my part. That, in turn, makes the sex not great and, I can see a downward spiral emerging. If I only have sex once a month, I feel the pressure to knock it out of the park whenever I get the opportunity. When that doesn't happen, I have another month to dwell on it. So, maybe we'll have to give scheduling a try. I'm not sure if she'll be up for it or if she'll regard it as pressure on her end that will make sex less enjoyable.


Hi friend. Most married men with kids don't have a lot of sex, join the club.

We schedule. It helps, a lot. For me, its not the porn or masturbation that affects performance. Its the time between last ejaculation. If its been a day, especially two days, I have the performance of a teenager. Scheduling lets me save my energy for my wife for the scheduled day. Then I don't have to be caught with an unloaded gun in the days after the scheduled date, and my wife doesn't have to worry about me trying to have sex with her.

Aside - I assume women reading us loser men whose wives don't want to sleep with them picture us old and fat, and the irony is I am none of those things, and neither are my friends in the same boat. There is no way to tell pre-marriage who married the woman with the independent sex drive and who married the woman with the fragile sex drive that dies with exhaustion, kids, familiarity, and all those things my wife can't control.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 11:20     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

I'm sorry.


Thanks. It's not great. We've had discussions about low frequency being a problem in our marriage. Theoretically, she thinks that once a week would be a healthy frequency. In practice, this hasn't happened. I asked her to read a book I thought would be helpful; she read about 30 pages and now it's gone unread for a few months.

I posted in one of the other threads about how this has led to increased porn use by me, which - as I age - seems to be leading to some performance issues on my part. That, in turn, makes the sex not great and, I can see a downward spiral emerging. If I only have sex once a month, I feel the pressure to knock it out of the park whenever I get the opportunity. When that doesn't happen, I have another month to dwell on it. So, maybe we'll have to give scheduling a try. I'm not sure if she'll be up for it or if she'll regard it as pressure on her end that will make sex less enjoyable.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 10:30     Subject: Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

I'm sorry.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 10:20     Subject: Scheduling sex
Relevant here: in Outlook you can assign someone a recurring task of High Importance and it will track percentage of completion.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 10:07     Subject: Scheduling sex
I schedule everything - stuff I have to do, stuff I want to do. I get excited at seeing stuff on the calendar or on my to-do list. So I don't see why scheduling sex needs to be a weird thing. Just call it date night.

My sister and her husband made a deal a few years back on how many times a week they would have sex. He would prefer to have it every day. With a full-time job and more of the kid responsibility, she would pick sleep over sex most of the time. So they agreed on 2x a week.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 10:06     Subject: Scheduling sex
Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 06:38     Subject: Scheduling sex
My ex hated scheduling. He thought sex should always be passionate, spontaneous, and of course, porn video quality.

I believed in regular sexual marriage maintenance sex (at the very least) too. Didn't help.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2016 06:36     Subject: Re:Scheduling sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I might be weird, gross, and apparently I may also be anal. I'm messed up, and a completely selfish F***. But yup, I'm having sex, my DH is having sex, and we are ahead of schedule this week! So we might get it 3-4 times instead of 2. And, no I don't track positions, orafices, or Os or anything else. Simply frequency.


You're not the only weirdo out there. I track my sex frequency too.


I might have gotten the idea from you (last year, on the explict board???) !!


NP and a third tracker here! I know I posted about it last year on the explicit board, so you might've gotten the idea from me. Yay!


I thank you sir/ma'am!
Anonymous
Post 11/30/2016 23:32     Subject: Re:Scheduling sex
Let's create a DCUM app in honor of this thread. Sex counter. With multi-variate stats built in for the geeks