OP,

I totally relate to your question as one who also grew up needing to do a cost/benefit for everything. The great part is that your DC is hardworking and has taken full advantage of the education to date. Given those character traits, the likelihood is he/she has the basics in place to do well anywhere. Good problem to have but it's not easy when so much choice is available either.

I would focus in on the fit. Not so much by major as they change their minds when college broadens their horizons (although for STEM it's helpful if there is wriggle room).
Your DC has spent most of her education years in relatively small classes. One of the questions to ask yourself is if in classroom engagement with faculty and like-minded peers is very important to his/her satisfaction with the educational experience. For some kids that is a deal breaker, others not so much as outside of the classroom experiences via ECs is where their development will predominately thrive The advisory system is important. And...the track record with graduate school placement. It is not a given that private colleges are superior in both respects for all kids so you'll want to look closely at WHICH privates and WHICH state schools to assess the relative advantage. My personal opinion is there are huge differences between the Ivies and Ivy-likes. I agree with the previous poster that the best education available is the biggest gift you can provide your DC. Whether a private school expense is worth it "depends".

If your kid can get in, do it.

Anonymous wrote:Students from less developed countries are practically killing themselves to gain access to the highest reaches of the US education system. Notwithstanding the protectionist and isolationist waves sweeping through the western world right now, the compensation for jobs and labor will increasingly be valued on a world-market scale. Further, the skills that will be valued going forward are not the same as those that were valued during our generation. The only security and advantage sou can give to your child are a strong work ethic and the best education available to them (this is not to be read as some judgment that private education is superior). No one in China or India is asking themselves the question, "Was it worth it to work hard and achieve the best education available?' The answer to them is self evident.

Last point I want to make. Socioeconomic mobility is at a low point in this country right now. You settle for 'good enough' at your own peril.

Agree with you 1000%!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wow there are certainly a number of people making wild assumptions on this thread. First, DC went to a private school because it was the best fit for this child. We have another child who chose to go public--different needs for different kids. Setting the child up for an Ivy was never "the plan." Giving the child the right environment to flourish was. Second, at no point did I say that we could not afford tuition. We can indeed. We are set for retirement and for the educational costs of our children. With that said, being able to afford something and being willing to throw money away unnecessarily are two very different things. Lastly, nowhere did I say that we would not send our child to the school of his/her choice. In fact, I stated the exact opposite. Education, like everything should be a value judgment. Teaching our children to make wise financial decisions is part of the responsible parenting. The question was "Is it worth it." That is pretty plain and simple. Perhaps in the future, it would be beneficial to everyone if people looked at the the stated facts instead of interjecting their own prejudices, assumptions and yes, even insecurities into a discussion. 18:59, I thank you for your perspective. It was on topic and very helpful.

Education is never throwing away money. I think you know that and I think you answered your own question with your post. What stood out to me was your acknowledgement that you are first gen and I think there may be a bit of a class disconnect/cognitive dissonance on spending money on college. That said, don't be too hard on people on this thread. It is really confusing to me that you have been paying for a private all this time and are suddenly gun shy about college when it sounds like your ducks are all in a row financially. This raises the question: what is actually going on? Do you want reassurance? Confirmation? Are you worried that an expensive SLAC isn't a good fit vs a large state school?

+1 on this post (worded much more thoughtfully than mine attempting to express the same points would have been).

In the end, what most people think about is money.

How much money the child will make in the future - as if that is the only guage for success, which is an incorrect synonym for happiness.

There is no guarantee in life.

Students from less developed countries are practically killing themselves to gain access to the highest reaches of the US education system. Notwithstanding the protectionist and isolationist waves sweeping through the western world right now, the compensation for jobs and labor will increasingly be valued on a world-market scale. Further, the skills that will be valued going forward are not the same as those that were valued during our generation. The only security and advantage sou can give to your child are a strong work ethic and the best education available to them (this is not to be read as some judgment that private education is superior). No one in China or India is asking themselves the question, "Was it worth it to work hard and achieve the best education available?' The answer to them is self evident.

Last point I want to make. Socioeconomic mobility is at a low point in this country right now. You settle for 'good enough' at your own peril.