Anonymous
11/29/2016 15:08
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone here feel so bad for Mary. She needs to grow up and live her life. If Mary were a 50 yr old man living with his mom, you would all be saying to kick him out. From what has been posted, it seems like Mary is perfectly capable of being a functional adult but just chooses not to.
I don't feel bad for Mary so much. It is just that this is just such an unusual scenario. When the facts are so different from the usual, I think it is a good idea to get legal advice, just to be safe. That is what I'd suggest to Mary and Roy.
OP still hasn't really explained how it happened that Thelma made the decision to leave her family home to Larla, a niece/goddaughter, over the children she gave birth to. Her family home which, btw, is worth four times the amount she left for her own children.
This is not at all a typical inheritance situation. i wonder if there are any other nieces and nephews and if they inherited anything. It wouldn't occur to me to leave anything at all to my nieces and nephews with living parents, unless maybe one moved in with me in my old age and was my caretaker.
Larla has not mentioned doing any care taking for her aunt, so I'm interested to know why Thelma left more to her niece than to both her children combined. OP, could you give any more information about your aunt's reasons for leaving you such a large inheritance?
Anonymous
11/29/2016 14:52
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, you might want to talk to a lawyer about challenges and the stattered ofor limitations. If it really is an issue, and you don't want to risk a challenge, you might want to email Mary, giving her permission to live there for the time being. If you don't rock the boat for a few years, and Mary is happy, maybe you can run out the clock.
If there's no legal issue, before you decide to move in, I'd really look at your budget. A large house like that will have higher utility and maintenance costs, in addition to tax assessments. You might need or want roomies to chip in, in which case Mary might come in handy.
I get the not wanting to live with her thing, since you seem like opposite personalities, but $100,000 won't last Mary for that many years, and isn't enough for a condo of her own. She shouldn't be your problem, but I'd still feel horrible to kick her out, especially so soon after the loss of her mothet.
Maybe you could live in the basement? Turn it into your own little apartment? Then let Mary know that a couple years after college (give an exact year), when your on your feet, you have big plans for moving upstairs, like renos, etc. "Mary, I know you probably don't want to share a house with a 25 year old, but I think it could mutually beneficial while I get on my feet, and just a couple of years won't be too bad-----unless, of course, you want to move somewhere else sooner than that."
Mary could live for another 40 years, and as akward as it is, you have to establish some sort of end date. Better sooner than later. At some point you may have a spouse and children and need that space (or need to sell and use that money for a different home).
Yes if Op needs roommates, she will probably pick some friends closer to her own age. It doesn't sound like Mary is used to paying rent anyway.
Anonymous
11/29/2016 14:50
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Why does everyone here feel so bad for Mary. She needs to grow up and live her life. If Mary were a 50 yr old man living with his mom, you would all be saying to kick him out. From what has been posted, it seems like Mary is perfectly capable of being a functional adult but just chooses not to.
Anonymous
11/29/2016 14:46
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:sell the house
Seriously just sell it, even if it's somewhat below the market value $400k. Tell the family you need the money more than the house. Then Mary has no choice but to use her $100k to finally get settled on her own.
Roy may be scared that Mary would come to live with him....
Anonymous
11/29/2016 14:37
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
OP, now the owner of the house... should live in the basement, are you kidding me ???
Anonymous
11/29/2016 09:15
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
sell the house
Anonymous
11/29/2016 03:55
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Statute of limitations
Anonymous
11/29/2016 03:54
Subject: Re:Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Yeah, you might want to talk to a lawyer about challenges and the stattered ofor limitations. If it really is an issue, and you don't want to risk a challenge, you might want to email Mary, giving her permission to live there for the time being. If you don't rock the boat for a few years, and Mary is happy, maybe you can run out the clock.
If there's no legal issue, before you decide to move in, I'd really look at your budget. A large house like that will have higher utility and maintenance costs, in addition to tax assessments. You might need or want roomies to chip in, in which case Mary might come in handy.
I get the not wanting to live with her thing, since you seem like opposite personalities, but $100,000 won't last Mary for that many years, and isn't enough for a condo of her own. She shouldn't be your problem, but I'd still feel horrible to kick her out, especially so soon after the loss of her mothet.
Maybe you could live in the basement? Turn it into your own little apartment? Then let Mary know that a couple years after college (give an exact year), when your on your feet, you have big plans for moving upstairs, like renos, etc. "Mary, I know you probably don't want to share a house with a 25 year old, but I think it could mutually beneficial while I get on my feet, and just a couple of years won't be too bad-----unless, of course, you want to move somewhere else sooner than that."
Mary could live for another 40 years, and as akward as it is, you have to establish some sort of end date. Better sooner than later. At some point you may have a spouse and children and need that space (or need to sell and use that money for a different home).
If there's no legal issue, before you decide to move in, I'd really look at your budget. A large house like that will have higher utility and maintenance costs, in addition to tax assessments. You might need or want roomies to chip in, in which case Mary might come in handy.
I get the not wanting to live with her thing, since you seem like opposite personalities, but $100,000 won't last Mary for that many years, and isn't enough for a condo of her own. She shouldn't be your problem, but I'd still feel horrible to kick her out, especially so soon after the loss of her mothet.
Maybe you could live in the basement? Turn it into your own little apartment? Then let Mary know that a couple years after college (give an exact year), when your on your feet, you have big plans for moving upstairs, like renos, etc. "Mary, I know you probably don't want to share a house with a 25 year old, but I think it could mutually beneficial while I get on my feet, and just a couple of years won't be too bad-----unless, of course, you want to move somewhere else sooner than that."
Mary could live for another 40 years, and as akward as it is, you have to establish some sort of end date. Better sooner than later. At some point you may have a spouse and children and need that space (or need to sell and use that money for a different home).
Anonymous
11/29/2016 00:10
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.
It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.
If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.
Larla works full time, so maybe she goes to school part time? Or maybe she worked a couple years before starting college? Regardless, her godmother believed that Larla was on the right track and wanted to give her a head start in life.
Op again here.
After high school, I took a gap year (which became a gap 18 months) to work and earn money to pay for college. My parents are not able to help with college payments so that's why I work my way to my degree.
Op, I applaud all of your hard work to earn a college degree. And it doesn't sound to me like you or your parents/grandmother pressured Thelma into this decision. But you must admit it is unusual for a mother to leave each of her children $100k but to leave her niece/goddaughter a $400k house. I agree with some pp's that if I were in Mary or her brother's shoes, I would talk to a lawyer to confirm my rights. That having been said, you are Larla so that's not your concern at the moment. To answer your original question, I would ask Mary to pay me rent (that I could then use to rent my own apartment), or ask her to pay me some lesser rent and we live there together, and/or if she doesn't want to pay rent or I didn't want to live with her, I would give her notice and sell the house. I imagine that as a young college student, you don't have the resources to pay for maintenance, taxes, etc on this house anyway unless you receive rent from Mary.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 22:47
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.
It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.
If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.
Larla works full time, so maybe she goes to school part time? Or maybe she worked a couple years before starting college? Regardless, her godmother believed that Larla was on the right track and wanted to give her a head start in life.
Op again here.
After high school, I took a gap year (which became a gap 18 months) to work and earn money to pay for college. My parents are not able to help with college payments so that's why I work my way to my degree.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 21:55
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.
It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.
If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.
Larla works full time, so maybe she goes to school part time? Or maybe she worked a couple years before starting college? Regardless, her godmother believed that Larla was on the right track and wanted to give her a head start in life.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 21:47
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Op here.
I wasn't a minor when the will was written 5 yrs ago. Depending on the month it was drafted, I was either 19 or 20.
I think that plainly, my godmother left me the house as she has been attempting to kick her DD out for several decades. I don't feel entitled to the house just as I don't feel entitled to get my parent's house when they die. However, this house has been given to me an the reality is that I want to live there. My cousin has been cordial yet passive aggressive over the years and especially about her mother giving me gifts. About 3 yrs ago, my godmother invited me on a vacation, I was so excited and grateful so of course I accepted... not knowing that they had just had a fight and I would be taking my cousin's place on the vacation.
My grandmother and my dad both say that my godmother was tired of supporting her "ungrateful daughter" and that she should have kicked her out years ago.
This story just doesn't make sense. Why would a mother choose a niece over her own children? Is there any chance at all that Thelma was not completely of sound mind or was pressured in any way?
Mary and Roy should at least talk to a lawyer about the possibility that the will is defective.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 21:39
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
It's possible that Thelma, knowing her daughter is flighty and might not be able to handle the responsibility of home ownership, left the house to Larla believing that she would allow Mary to live there while Larla ensures the house is properly maintained. If that's the case she should have stated that in her will but too late for that now.
- Does Mary have any extenuating issues? Health problems, mental or physical disability? If so, suck it up and let her stay there in peace. Perhaps ask her to just pay the taxes on the house.
- Was there ever a concern that Mary was not treating her mom right or was stealing money from her? If yes, I'd be more inclined to suggest that Larla move in with Mary.
Otherwise, if she's a decent person and family with no other home, remember that karma is a bitch.
- Does Mary have any extenuating issues? Health problems, mental or physical disability? If so, suck it up and let her stay there in peace. Perhaps ask her to just pay the taxes on the house.
- Was there ever a concern that Mary was not treating her mom right or was stealing money from her? If yes, I'd be more inclined to suggest that Larla move in with Mary.
Otherwise, if she's a decent person and family with no other home, remember that karma is a bitch.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 20:53
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Everyone, Larla isn't just the niece, she's the GODDAUGHTER.
It makes sense that Thelma would leave a house to her young(ish) unmarried but on the right track student goddaughter and leave money and not the house to her children. Especially with one child being established with his own house and family and the other child a spinster squatter who never had to do much for herself. Roy and Mary are also in their 50s. Larla is basically a generation under them.
If you believe Larla/OP's premise (doesn't write like her story). Mary has 2 degrees - Larla is 25 and in her 3rd year of college, living at home - not exactly a career superstar even in comparison.
Anonymous
11/28/2016 20:40
Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Mary is really mad right?
Why is this relevant?