Anonymous
Post 11/16/2024 17:43     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have to go to the principal. This coach needs to be fired. If you can, document your interactions with the coach. See if she will put her bullying enabling in writing. I am a teacher and this is 100% not acceptable. She is encouraging the bullying and blaming the victim. She should not get away with this. Your daughter is actively in danger and she needs help.


+1000 NP


+1000000000000
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2024 17:42     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:My daughter(15) is on the varsity cheerleading team at her high school. There are 12 seniors on her squad and only 4 lower class girls. My daughter does not fit the typical cheerleader stereotype. She does not enjoy going to parities, is not into drama/boys and is not very fashionable(jeans, tshirt kind of girl)

The senior girls on the squad are bullying her to the point my daughter no longer smiles. They drop her on purpose from stunts to see if she will cry. They force her to say swear words since she doesn't like to cuss, they tell her they lost a competition because of her ugly face, they tell her since her boyfriend doesn't have sex with her he doesn't love her. The list is endless. She says the younger girls on the squad do not join in on the bullying but are to afraid to say anything .

I spoke with the coach and she said that my daughter is too sensitive and is very shy. She said that if my daughter would stop crying, they wouldn't pick on her. She told me how she likes for the girls to work things out themselves and she always stops it if she thinks it's gone too far. From my perceptive the coach likes to be buddy buddy with these older girls and they basically run the show.

My daughter says she won't quit because then she won't get a scholarship. She wants to cheer in college and is actually very good. She says if I go to the principal, it will make it much worse and that they already were saying mean things from my conversation with the coach. I am at a loss. My husband and I feel helpless seeing her come home from practice and go straight to her room to cry. I just want her to quit and be done with it.



Dang, this sounds beyond terrible. I would get her out of there quick!
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2024 17:03     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
This is bullshit. You cannot let this continue annd condone this system. Your daughter is not the only victim of this culture. An extracurricular activity is not worth sacrificing your self worth and morals for. Report and keep reporting at higher and higher levels. Teach her to take a stand for what is right.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2024 11:54     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Adding - dance team might be an option if she wants to do something at school…


Former dancer who didn’t fit the stereotype here. Dance teams are crowded with mean girls.


It might depend on the school. At ours, dance team was the ballerina girls. My daughter left for cheerleading after freshman year bc she found the dance team girls rather boring and couldn’t connect with them. She did find them a little judgmental. Cheer was more the popular party girls (although no one has been particularly mean in either ?!!)
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2024 08:13     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have to go to the principal. This coach needs to be fired. If you can, document your interactions with the coach. See if she will put her bullying enabling in writing. I am a teacher and this is 100% not acceptable. She is encouraging the bullying and blaming the victim. She should not get away with this. Your daughter is actively in danger and she needs help.


+1000 NP


+1000. Not only this, if they are dropping your DD during stunts they are endangering a member of the team intentionally which goes against the student and athletic code of conduct and the coach can be held personally liable.

The above said, I’d have no problem putting the coach on notice that “either she says/does something to get her squad together or I will.”
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2024 06:38     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:Adding - dance team might be an option if she wants to do something at school…


Former dancer who didn’t fit the stereotype here. Dance teams are crowded with mean girls.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2024 06:37     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:I don't see how you can let this continue. This is textbook bullying.

Send an email to the coach repeating verbatim your second paragraph. Wait for a response. If the response is insufficient, forward the email to the principal.


This. You cannot let it go. You hear about these things escalating and this honestly sounds scary for your daughter.
Anonymous
Post 11/15/2024 06:26     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:You have to go to the principal. This coach needs to be fired. If you can, document your interactions with the coach. See if she will put her bullying enabling in writing. I am a teacher and this is 100% not acceptable. She is encouraging the bullying and blaming the victim. She should not get away with this. Your daughter is actively in danger and she needs help.


+1000 NP
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 19:36     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Adding - dance team might be an option if she wants to do something at school…
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 19:35     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
This is horrible. Complain to principal/athletic director and pull her.

Also if she wants to get on a college team, she should be doing all star cheer outside of school as school teams are rarely developing the tumbling skills college teams look for. I was looking at the requirements the other day for a few and all star is the way to go
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 19:30     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:Is your DD a flyer? If they drop her wrong she's going to break her pelvis or something and won't be able to cheer in college. She needs to fight back.


Fight back? OPs daughter has done nothing wrong. How about these other girls stop their behavior? Why does everyone tolerate this?

Guarantee the bullies are not very attractive, smart, or have bad personalities.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 19:10     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really would also like to know where these scholarships for cheerleading are. I know some schools will give between 500 to 4000$ in grants, but as a mom of a very good cheerleader I really can't find any real scholarships, and as pp mentioned it is not an ncaa sport. Apart from bullying in high school, any really, really good cheerleader is on an All Star team, and then maybe on a high school team as well. After all we have Twisters here in MD, and their F5 team won the worlds this year.


There is money out there for football cheerleaders. It is more competitive than most female sports. You have to be extraordinarily good, top 1%. With cheer competitions having tons of kids in them it’s tough.


Also, look up Stunt, the sport. It's essentially an official college sport that is becoming more and more popular. It's pure stunting and no tumbling or the dance stuff. Lots of colleges are offering scholarships for it and many cheerleaders are doing it for that benefit.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 14:39     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:I really would also like to know where these scholarships for cheerleading are. I know some schools will give between 500 to 4000$ in grants, but as a mom of a very good cheerleader I really can't find any real scholarships, and as pp mentioned it is not an ncaa sport. Apart from bullying in high school, any really, really good cheerleader is on an All Star team, and then maybe on a high school team as well. After all we have Twisters here in MD, and their F5 team won the worlds this year.


There is money out there for football cheerleaders. It is more competitive than most female sports. You have to be extraordinarily good, top 1%. With cheer competitions having tons of kids in them it’s tough.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 14:32     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:Look into this - cheer is not an NCAA sport so no scholarships so just drop HS cheer and continue with a competitive cheer team.


Yes there are scholarships for cheerleaders. One example is University of Kentucky

Blue squad: 16 members of the Blue squad receive a scholarship that covers the amount of in-state tuition. The amount of the scholarship depends on a cheerleader's GPA, skill level, years in the program, and need.
White squad: Members of the White squad receive some tuition scholarships.
Mr. and Mrs. Ralph McCracken, Jr. Cheerleading Scholarship Endowment: This endowment awards scholarships to both the Blue and White squads based on academic excellence.
The UK cheerleading program also offers other benefits, including:
Access to CATS, which provides academic counseling, computer labs, and free printing
Free travel for games and competitions
No out-of-pocket fees

These college teams are more entertaining and talented tha pro cheerleaders.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2024 14:29     Subject: cheerleaders excessive bullying
Anonymous wrote:I am surprised that high school cheer would be a path to scholarships. I would have thought gym/competitive teams would have been a bigger draw for a girl wanting a scholarship. If she is good at it and likes it, I would pursue a competitive team. OTOH if she likes cheer because of the extra social perks at school, well then her choice is to grin and bear it. I know you started off with how different she is from all the others but be realistic and think back to when you were in HS. Most kids wanted to be liked and admired by their peers.

As far as the coach, I bet you are right and she does want to be "popular" with the senior girls and just doesn't know herself how to effectively intervene. She might even be afraid of the girls herself to some extent.

.

The girls I knew who were amazing and ended up with scholarships to the big football schools did both school and competition team and summer camps.

My daughter did varsity cheer when she was a freshman. She needed a three month break from her training and cheer looked fun. The girls weren’t just one group, there were different personalities, different friendships. They only fought about boys. One of them was so horrible and so over the line that I called her parents. I never knew someone could be so cruel. It was all about a senior boy who liked my daughter. Her parents stopped the bullying right away and they eventually got along.

One thing you can’t change is if you’re a flyer. If you’re five feet tall you are a flyer. If the OP daughter is tiny she should definitely find a fun competition team.