Anonymous wrote:OMG OP. What an MIL fail. If I can manage to say on FB "we wish you were here too," when someone I kinda sorta maybe remember from high school posts that it looks like we had fun at our 20 year reunion, you could manage a similar response for your DIL. Has it not hit you yet that she controls your access to your son and GD? Or do you just not care, because your DD and her DD are all you need?

This +1000! I don't think these bitchy MILs even think about this. If I was that DIL, I would tell you to go piss off and enjoy your other GD.

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP. What an MIL fail. If I can manage to say on FB "we wish you were here too," when someone I kinda sorta maybe remember from high school posts that it looks like we had fun at our 20 year reunion, you could manage a similar response for your DIL. Has it not hit you yet that she controls your access to your son and GD? Or do you just not care, because your DD and her DD are all you need?

+1

Why couldn't you have just been nice about it? "Wish you were here too" would've been perfect.

You hurt her feelings.

OMG OP. What an MIL fail. If I can manage to say on FB "we wish you were here too," when someone I kinda sorta maybe remember from high school posts that it looks like we had fun at our 20 year reunion, you could manage a similar response for your DIL. Has it not hit you yet that she controls your access to your son and GD? Or do you just not care, because your DD and her DD are all you need?

What a staggeringly rude response. I would have a hard time ever forgetting this if my MIL did it.

All you needed to say was, "Yes, I would love to have one with your DD, too! This was a totally impromptu pic today but I would LOVE to have one with all the girl descendants of our family through the generations!"

Be really honest, OP. What else do you do to favor your daughter's daughter? I doubt that other FB post came out of nowhere.

Usually we talk about DILs overthinking small issues. This time MIL is the one doing it. DIL commented how she wishes her DD was included. She didn't say, how dare you not include her. OP, what was her comment exactly? It sounds innocent enough "Oh too bad my DD wasn't included/in it." And then you took that small comment, which really meant in my mind that she sees her DD and herself as part of your family and it would have been great if her DD was in it. Did she say included? Or just in it? She may not have even thought that you excluded her DD on purpose, but you sure put her in her place with your "your DD doesn't belong in my photo, she belong in your mom's photo."

I'm guessing this was not the first time she felt snubbed by you.

Anonymous wrote:The other day DIL shared meme on Facebook. Part of it mentioned hoe grandparents play favorites. I blew it off and made no assumptions. Well today I post a picture of my mother, myself, my daughter and granddaughter and the caption said 4 generations. DIL commented about how she wishes her daughter had been included. I explained to her that was a picture that was for her with her own mom. Well she deleted her comment and didn't respond. Is this her passive aggressive way of letting me know she's mad or am I putting too much into it?

Stupid. You should have explained it was an impromptu picture and you couldn't wait for Larla to be included.

You are rude as hell, OP. You know it. That is why you are here. You are waiting for someone to tell you otherwise. Why don't you be the grown up and apologize to your DIL. Do the right thing. And don't exclude your granddaughter or DIL in the future. You know how she feels. Be nice.

Anonymous wrote:I guess a lot of people don't understand that these kinds of pictures are taken all the time. Sometimes it's a line of multi-generation women, and other times it's a line of multi-generation men. The DIL was out of line and maybe she finally figured out that her child does not get called for every single family picture.

But, her DD is a direct line from her MIL. Now, I admit that I wouldn't have cared if I was her DIL, nor brought it up. So, yes DIL overreacted, but MIL's comment is just so rude, that was also uncalled for. She should have been flattered that her DIL wanted her DD in that picture. Now, I understand what OP meant, daughter of my daughter, but there was no reason to spell it out so rudely.

I can see both sides, yours and hers. Her DD is your granddaughter and unless you had excluded several other granddaughters, then I can see why could interpret it as a snub. But, your comment that that picture is for her and her mother and her DD, that would sting. She does sound sensitive, but all she wanted is for her DD to be in that picture. If you just omitted the comment and then refrained from telling her how her DD didn't belong in that picture, she probably wouldn't have been hurt. I think you didn't mean anything bad, just didn't think what you were saying. If you really mean it, yes it is hurtful. Now, I would never have brought it up, but if you life in the same town and it is not difficult to get her DD in the picture, your comment about 4 generations was fine, but it did exclude one, so I think she was picking on that little
"fine print," but you saying that her DD is not part of this picture, that was just thoughtless and makes me wonder why do you feel that her DD, who is your blood granddaughter doesn't belong in that pic. If you said, I wish my other granddaughter was in it, that would have been fine. So sensitive DIL, thoughtless MIL. And I am usually on MIL sides in these posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may have you babysit this weekend but she will see you as free labor rather than as a cherished woman in her child's (and her) life. The wedge you constructed will be there too. and you have helped her design and build it for her daughter too. You may have been 100% right (wow science apparently can back you up!) but you really lost something here OP - especially as you continue to build your defenses and cling to your righteousness. I am a new MIL and I keep note of acts like this as guides of how not to be.

This was a pic taken with my cell phone today when my daughter and I went to visit my mother. This wasn't planned

It is NOT the photo - it was how you acted/responded to your DIL. You could have so easily said - isn't it amazing? I want to get one with Larla too! We should get all the girls in it - and then the boys. Have you done this with your mother?

Yes. The DIL was really immature to have said anything. It's just a picture of the generations. Posting a photo on FB that doesn't include her kid is not offensive. Was she offended?

But op, your response us what was offensive. It doesn't matter that you have this opinion about what "generation" means. Instead of responding like pp suggested, you essentially said "no, your daughter isn't really one of us."

You should reach out and apologize. Just eat crow, and put it behind you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't her daughter also your granddaughter and great granddaughter?

This wasnt a planned photo. DIL wasn't there and neither was her daughter. I put the caption because quite frankly it was a picture of 4 generations. DIL felt the caption was rude because it didn't include all of her grandkids.

You just can't admit that you didn't respond with grace or kindness, can you?

I did respond and say that I see where I came off as rude. Wasn't my intention to

Why are you telling US? Tell the person you unintentionally hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't her daughter also your granddaughter and great granddaughter?

This wasnt a planned photo. DIL wasn't there and neither was her daughter. I put the caption because quite frankly it was a picture of 4 generations. DIL felt the caption was rude because it didn't include all of her grandkids.

You just can't admit that you didn't respond with grace or kindness, can you?

I did respond and say that I see where I came off as rude. Wasn't my intention to

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But isn't her daughter also your granddaughter and great granddaughter?

This wasnt a planned photo. DIL wasn't there and neither was her daughter. I put the caption because quite frankly it was a picture of 4 generations. DIL felt the caption was rude because it didn't include all of her grandkids.

Keep telling yourself that, see how far it gets you!