Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my first and just starting to announce and people are surprised and saying I'm "really" young to be having a baby. I'm 26 and married, not 17! We both have good jobs and I'll be returning to work after the birth.

Nope. It's young for DC, but no. I had mine at 28, and got the same reaction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, yes its young. My sister had her kids young (started at 26) and now she is late 40s with an empty nest. She is highly educated and she and her DH live in a wealthy area (not DC). The major downside, she says, is that they are so out of step with their friends from college in terms of life phases that they lost touch with most of them and she says they are always the youngest parents in any setting, in some cases by 10+ years. So she's found it difficult, at times, to connect with parents of other kids.

Should she have delayed having kids so she can connect better with other parents? That's lunacy.

Agree.

I'm a previous poster that had my first at 25 in NYC. All of my 'mom' friends were much older than me. We got along really well and they've stayed good friends even after I moved here.

All of my friends here are older than me too, though the gap is slightly less than in NYC, it hasn't made making connections any harder. I've made good friends and all of them though older than me have children that are younger than mine but we've still been able to find common ground.

Anonymous wrote:No it is perfect, especially if you want to have more.

Tell 'em you're looking forward to being really young when the kid goes off to college.

+1. It's perfect age.

Why the hell do you care, OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my first and just starting to announce and people are surprised and saying I'm "really" young to be having a baby. I'm 26 and married, not 17! We both have good jobs and I'll be returning to work after the birth.

No matter when you're pregnant, people will always have some form of commentary about it. Actually, people will always have some sort of commentary about your pregnancy the entire time you're pregnant, and then they were I'll have a running commentary about your parenting. So, I'd say rather tongue in cheek - welcome to being a parent

Signed -40 year old who is apparently so old to be starting a family and should have just stayed DINKs

No matter when. No matter when. It's always the wrong time. Too old. Too young.

Congrats on the baby, OP. Tune out the haters. There will always be haters. Learn not to listen. The judgement train is coming. Wishing you fairy-magic ear plugs!

+1

People will comment on everything, your age is just the start. Ignore them.

I think it's young, but I realize I've been conditioned to feel that way by living in cities and bwing around people working to get advanced degrees rather than getting married and settling down. I also think of the 25-27 year olds I know these days and they seem so immature! Lots of my friends in their late 20s are just settling into long term situations, buying condos and houses, thinking about school districts, and then having kids a few years into marriage... Usually around 31-33.

But I agree with PPs - it's nobody else's business and you know you/your partner/your situation best. Older moms get unsolicited opinions too. My mom was so eager for me to start having kids, but now that I'm 32 and pregnant with my first, she's been implying that I'm too old to have additional kids.

Anonymous wrote:No it is perfect, especially if you want to have more.

Tell 'em you're looking forward to being really young when the kid goes off to college.

This times a million. Good for you, OP.

I had my first at 30 and was shocked to be on the younger side in this area. My mom friends are all probably 3-10 years older than me. One other daycare mom literally said I was a baby with a baby. My friends from home who stayed in the NYC suburbs where I grew up all had kids at the same time as me, some maybe starting closer to 28. A good number of my girlfriends around here are still single or are very recently married though, so I expect if they have kids they will be 35+.

Still, I wish I had started earlier. I'm expecting #2 now and will be 34 when I deliver. I'm open to a third but don't really want to be in the baby phase in my late 30s. Most 26 year olds around here probably aren't ready for a baby, but if you are then great! You'll find your tribe and who cares if they're older than you.

When I was 26 and single and living in Pittsburgh, I was basically an old maid. No joke, my parents wanted me to start the adoption process as a single mom.

I moved to DC and had a fantastic time, like PP said, dating around until I was 31.

Then I got married and had my first at 33.

I was the youngest one in my new moms class. Such a difference from Pittsburgh, for sure!

If you are ready and at a place in your life that it makes sense, go for it.

I was married at 26, but had just finished law school. We weren't in a place mentally or financially to have a child then. Had our first at 30, which still seemed VERY young for this area given I was easily 5+ years younger than the other parents at daycare, but I was fairly lockstep with my larger friend circle from college, most of whom had gone to grad school of one sort or another. Just had our second at 35 and this time around I am the same age as the parents with their first in our daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 26, I was in grad school, dating different guys, had a huge group of friends, went out all the time, and largely did whatever I felt like whenever I wanted - tons of weekend trips and spontaneous travel.

It's certainly possible I was immature, but that's what all my friends were doing too. No regrets. Great time of my life.

So yes, for me, I can't even imagine having a baby at 26. I wouldn't have been ready or happy doing it at that time in my life.

This.

Me too! 26 was the time of my life.

In this area that is SUPER young. I was the youngest Mom in my new moms group and I am 33. Most were 35+

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:26 is the perfect age for a first baby. Anytim in your late 20s is ideal, really.

This are just has a lot of really old first time moms. I had my first baby at 33. I lived here most of my pregnancy and I often got the "your so young" comment. Everywhere else I went, including where I moved out west, I was on older first time mom.

It is just this area.

It's not just this area. First hand, I can tell you it's similar in Seattle, San Francisco, NYC, and Boston (older first-time moms). I don't have first hand experience in other areas. But I think it's close-in areas of major metropolitan areas (i.e., $$$ to live) and well-educated women. They tend to have kids later.

Exactly. It's not the only way to set up a career, but 26 is right in the middle of a lot of women's grad school/apprenticeship periods, not a great time to have kids. Given that you have another good 10 years to have kids, there's no reason to rush it in the mid-20s. But that's not to say there are not other ways to have a career and kids. Everyone should do what works for her!

Anonymous wrote:26 is the perfect age for a first baby. Anytim in your late 20s is ideal, really.

This are just has a lot of really old first time moms. I had my first baby at 33. I lived here most of my pregnancy and I often got the "your so young" comment. Everywhere else I went, including where I moved out west, I was on older first time mom.

It is just this area.

It's not just this area. First hand, I can tell you it's similar in Seattle, San Francisco, NYC, and Boston (older first-time moms). I don't have first hand experience in other areas. But I think it's close-in areas of major metropolitan areas (i.e., $$$ to live) and well-educated women. They tend to have kids later.