Anonymous
10/04/2016 12:05
Subject: Apology 12 years after the incident
Not to excuse his behavior, but it sounds like he has matured a lot since then & still feels bad for how bad he treated you back then.
Making amends perhaps makes him feel better.
There are a lot of people who never take the time + effort to apologize so I would forgive him.
Making amends perhaps makes him feel better.
There are a lot of people who never take the time + effort to apologize so I would forgive him.
Anonymous
10/04/2016 10:37
Subject: Apology 12 years after the incident
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"So kind of you to send this message. It has long been water under the bridge but I really appreciate it. Hope all is well."
This. I would also hide my feed from him and block his. Don't know why you'd want to be friends with him.
+1 I think it's weird you friended him. He could have simply sent you a message via FB, no need to be friends.
Anonymous
10/04/2016 10:21
Subject: Apology 12 years after the incident
NP here. I went to our prom with a guy I've known since 1st grade, in my class but a friend of my brother's so we hung out outside of school, too.
As we were driving to the prom, he went on and on about who he REALLY wanted to take to the prom, but she was from a different school and her dad had said no. Then he ignored me at the table; bottom line, I ended up crying in the bathroom. (Sounds dumb now, but it was really upsetting because where I was developmentally.)
At our 5 or 10 year reunion, he apologized to me. It was nice. And it's nice to get closure on that--not saying OP needs closure--she didn't ask for it or mention that in her OP, but you know, it's pleasant when you can take a crummy experience and have a chance to make a choice, and one of the choices is to take the high road, and then you actually take the high road.
Not for the guy's sake, but for your own sake, because it does make you feel better. It gives a little closure where you were the last person--YOU were the one who finally "tied it up in a bow."
PPs who say to not to respond are focusing on how your behavior will affect the guy. ("he does not deserve" an apology, "don't give him the closure," etc). Forget him, focus on you.
So I'm with many of the PPs that favor the "water under the bridge, but I appreciate it" approach. Not for him, sure, it benefits him, but that's really a side effect. Don't do it for him, but for you.
As we were driving to the prom, he went on and on about who he REALLY wanted to take to the prom, but she was from a different school and her dad had said no. Then he ignored me at the table; bottom line, I ended up crying in the bathroom. (Sounds dumb now, but it was really upsetting because where I was developmentally.)
At our 5 or 10 year reunion, he apologized to me. It was nice. And it's nice to get closure on that--not saying OP needs closure--she didn't ask for it or mention that in her OP, but you know, it's pleasant when you can take a crummy experience and have a chance to make a choice, and one of the choices is to take the high road, and then you actually take the high road.
Not for the guy's sake, but for your own sake, because it does make you feel better. It gives a little closure where you were the last person--YOU were the one who finally "tied it up in a bow."
PPs who say to not to respond are focusing on how your behavior will affect the guy. ("he does not deserve" an apology, "don't give him the closure," etc). Forget him, focus on you.
So I'm with many of the PPs that favor the "water under the bridge, but I appreciate it" approach. Not for him, sure, it benefits him, but that's really a side effect. Don't do it for him, but for you.