Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, one sign of giftedness is this intense empathy/feeling the injustice others may be suffering. To me, and I'm no expert, your daugher may be gifted and this may be one of the manifestations. It becomes a problem when these feelings affect her and cause her to feel depressed.

I have a gifted friend with similar traits and as she got older, she had a more difficult time coping with her strong feelings of empathy. I think your daughter just needs some tools from a knowledgeable professional to help her cope with these feelings as she gets older.

Interesting. DS is gifted but he actually lacks empathy or at least a deep empathy.

He probably is loosely on the spectrum.

Nope. Definitely not.

Then I guess he is just a self-centered brat then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is this way. He is 11, and has gotten better about not dwelling so much on the sadness of the world. At 8 though, he would cry about a schoolmate who could not walk or run, and how unfair and sad he found this. It's interesting because his sister lacks empathy for others.

My children are like this. I say my older DD sucked all the empathy out of my body before she was born leaving none for younger DD.
My older DD has a huge heart. My younger one.... not so much.

It appears all common sense was also sucked out of you at some point if you ever actually say this out loud!

Why the PP has a point. Many parents parent firsts better than seconds/thirds. It is not necessary a bad thing. I am not a helicopter to my 2-4th kids and they are much better equipped to handle their feelings and the real world. But then again, my 2nd fights me for attention and has shown an increase in anxiety at times. You are oblivious if you don't think parents raise each child a little different. I lost my mom during my 3rd child. I was depressed. It was tough. Things happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, one sign of giftedness is this intense empathy/feeling the injustice others may be suffering. To me, and I'm no expert, your daugher may be gifted and this may be one of the manifestations. It becomes a problem when these feelings affect her and cause her to feel depressed.

I have a gifted friend with similar traits and as she got older, she had a more difficult time coping with her strong feelings of empathy. I think your daughter just needs some tools from a knowledgeable professional to help her cope with these feelings as she gets older.

Interesting. DS is gifted but he actually lacks empathy or at least a deep empathy.

He probably is loosely on the spectrum.

Nope. Definitely not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter should not be running around playing Lady Bountiful. Inappropriate.

She's a little kid! She did what she thought was the right thing to do - give her a break. We need more of this little kid than you! The world would be a much better place.

Sorry, I don't want anyone giving me a piece of gum and a hug because they feel sorry for me and want to cry. I'd much rather get a High Five and a You Rock! I'm a survivor, not a victim.

You are hotrible and what makes this country at its worst.

Whereas you, I'm sure, will "Make America Great Again."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is this way. He is 11, and has gotten better about not dwelling so much on the sadness of the world. At 8 though, he would cry about a schoolmate who could not walk or run, and how unfair and sad he found this. It's interesting because his sister lacks empathy for others.

My children are like this. I say my older DD sucked all the empathy out of my body before she was born leaving none for younger DD.
My older DD has a huge heart. My younger one.... not so much.

It appears all common sense was also sucked out of you at some point if you ever actually say this out loud!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shame on all you buffoons telling OP her daughter needs therapy and medication. I have lived in England, Sweden, and Canada before here and no one would bat an eyelash at these type of kids. There needs to be more kids like yours in this country OP. Embrace her. Don't make her feel strange. Don't turn her into a non-feeling selfish robot.

You may need to simmer down. I'm a proponent of therapy and it's not to "fix" anything-- it's to help OP's daughter put these extremely strong emotions into context so that she can remain empathetic without feeling distressed. When emotions spill over into distress and sadness they needs to be addressed proactively. Therapy can teach self regulation and reflection-- these are life skills and people who learn these skills are much happier than people who don't. If OP wasn't concerned about how her daughter is dealing with her feelings she wouldn't have said "I have some worries."
I agree that there is nothing here to suggest medication as an answer. I also agree that some responses were unduly harsh and not taking into account that this is a child grappling with emotions that she does not have the skills and experience to handle.

wrong

Anonymous wrote:Shame on all you buffoons telling OP her daughter needs therapy and medication. I have lived in England, Sweden, and Canada before here and no one would bat an eyelash at these type of kids. There needs to be more kids like yours in this country OP. Embrace her. Don't make her feel strange. Don't turn her into a non-feeling selfish robot.

You may need to simmer down. I'm a proponent of therapy and it's not to "fix" anything-- it's to help OP's daughter put these extremely strong emotions into context so that she can remain empathetic without feeling distressed. When emotions spill over into distress and sadness they needs to be addressed proactively. Therapy can teach self regulation and reflection-- these are life skills and people who learn these skills are much happier than people who don't. If OP wasn't concerned about how her daughter is dealing with her feelings she wouldn't have said "I have some worries."
I agree that there is nothing here to suggest medication as an answer. I also agree that some responses were unduly harsh and not taking into account that this is a child grappling with emotions that she does not have the skills and experience to handle.

Shame on all you buffoons telling OP her daughter needs therapy and medication. I have lived in England, Sweden, and Canada before here and no one would bat an eyelash at these type of kids. There needs to be more kids like yours in this country OP. Embrace her. Don't make her feel strange. Don't turn her into a non-feeling selfish robot.

OK, I"m 50 years old and I have to CHANGE THE CHANNEL whenver those homeless dogs/SPCA/etc ads come on tv. Or leave the room, whichever works better and faster. I just can't even. Also those poor children ads in other countries ads. so I GET HER.

I think she should pick 2 charities/organizations/ 'things' and work on those. She could sell lemonade and give it to the MSPCA. Or make something (does she knit? crochet? is she crafty, could she make cute magnet animals, sell them and give to the MSPCA or whatever?)

Also, giving her time might be important - she could have a towel drive at her school and give to a shelter. She could run a gently used coat drive and give to a homeless shelter... she could....

She's old enough to make posters, hang them up, go and talk to other classrooms, then take the towels to the shelter, coats to the shelter, etc.

Or she could do a Pennies for Pandas drive and collect pennies (and other coins) and then roll them thar coins and change it to a check and mail it to that organization which helps pandas in China by replanting bamboo to keep the natural habitat (yes, that's a real organization).

And so on.

OP- I suggest first, that your daughter needs an outlet for her feelings. She should choose something that she cares deeply about and become involved. Emotional empathy is a great, first step to learning true compassion (which is the feeling *and* and the doing). Doing something may relieve some inner stress.

Second, I do recommend therapy for some of these emotions. Your daughter is young, but now is a great time to learn how to put things in perspective (what can and can't be controlled) and what is a productive use of our emotional energy. If she doesn't learn this now, it can set her up for anxiety later.

Third- I think people are being way too harsh. At eight, kids are still learning about friendships and how to interact with each other and show caring. She is not an adult- a hug and a piece of gum is very within the norm for how a child would show care. She should be gradually taught to look for what *other* people need in a given situation - a kind word, encouragement, silence, etc. A lot of typical adults struggle with reacting appropriately to situations that make us emotional or reading what other people might want us to say or do.