Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. We talked several times throughout the day today. Around 5, he stopped by to say goodbye before heading home. He looked sad, I asked what happened and he said that she declined him again. It looked pathetic. I am now realizing that he might be using me because he doesn't get any physical contact from his wife. They haven't been close in 3+ months now. He asked if he could have a hug. I said yes. We hugged and and I was thinking why I am doing this. What do I get from this? Why do I need this? I have a husband who is waiting at home why I am here hugging this man who was rejected by his wife.

He then kissed my neck. And then he kissed my lips. And all this time I was thinking what the heck I am doing and why does it feel so pathetic. My body reacted to his in a usual way, but I didn't feel a connection. I felt like I was being used. I kissed him with all my passion for a minute, pulled away and said, "Let's never do that again." He apologized and left.

I need to remind myself that it is pathetic, he is pathetic, we are pathetic together. This is not going anywhere, except to a hole that will destroy my and my life.

Reading all the advice and common sense comments make me understand what I can lose: my family, my job, respect of my colleagues and children.

Can't wait for your post tomorrow that's the exact opposite of this. Find a new therapist. You are seriously pathetic and need help with your self esteem. Even your posts read like someone who is all "omg you guys I know this is wrong. Tell me I'm wrong. Omg you guys it happened again. Can you believe me!?!". Hate woman like you

Anonymous wrote:OP. We talked several times throughout the day today. Around 5, he stopped by to say goodbye before heading home. He looked sad, I asked what happened and he said that she declined him again. It looked pathetic. I am now realizing that he might be using me because he doesn't get any physical contact from his wife. They haven't been close in 3+ months now. He asked if he could have a hug. I said yes. We hugged and and I was thinking why I am doing this. What do I get from this? Why do I need this? I have a husband who is waiting at home why I am here hugging this man who was rejected by his wife.

He then kissed my neck. And then he kissed my lips. And all this time I was thinking what the heck I am doing and why does it feel so pathetic. My body reacted to his in a usual way, but I didn't feel a connection. I felt like I was being used. I kissed him with all my passion for a minute, pulled away and said, "Let's never do that again." He apologized and left.

I need to remind myself that it is pathetic, he is pathetic, we are pathetic together. This is not going anywhere, except to a hole that will destroy my and my life.

Reading all the advice and common sense comments make me understand what I can lose: my family, my job, respect of my colleagues and children.

Anonymous wrote:

I need to remind myself that it is pathetic, he is pathetic, we are pathetic together. This is not going anywhere, except to a hole that will destroy my and my life.

Reading all the advice and common sense comments make me understand what I can lose: my family, my job, respect of my colleagues and children.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know if people at work suspect anything. I don't think so. No one changed in how they talk to me, so I would think no.

I have not seriously thought about leaving yet. I think about it as a possibility and consider "what if" and "how" but I think I will be too afraid to act on it unless be become very serious with AP.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know if people at work suspect anything. I don't think so. No one changed in how they talk to me, so I would think no.

I have not seriously thought about leaving yet. I think about it as a possibility and consider "what if" and "how" but I think I will be too afraid to act on it unless be become very serious with AP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you looking for a new job, OP?

Got a job after grad school where I stayed for a year. Didn't like it because it was not a good fit (it was a very prestigious company but I didn't like the way things were run there), then left for this job several months ago. In my field (technical), it's not a good thing to change jobs so frequently. In addition, I always wanted to work for this company and was very happy when I was hired. This is what I went to grad school for; my job responsibilities, growth potential, educational opportunities, and many other things about this job are what I was looking for. My productivity did not change with this affair.

Thank you, this is very insightful. Yes, he feels like a drug. But also a friend I can share feelings with. We have a connection, a mutual understanding, we speak the same language of love.

The longest we were apart during these few months was four days, and it felt like torture. It was when we decided to stop and figure out what we truly wanted from our lives. I understand I was going through withdrawal and should have stuck with it. But we started talking again, and next thing I know I am in his arms. I know he is selfish in that regard. He admits it too that when he sees me he is drawn to me.

Quitting my job is not an option, unfortunately, for many reasons. Leaving for a few days is not an option either. My parents live very far, and I don't have close friends I can visit, only out if state. But yes, thinking clearly is difficult when everything reminds me of him daily.