Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Oh, fuck no. No, no, no. Stick to your guns here, PP.

my mom went to visit my brother for a family wedding. my brother's in laws came to town too for the same wedding. My brother lost his job, and only works sporadically, radically down sized the home. Instead of staying at a hotel, the brother in law who happens to be a PHYSICIAN stayed with my brother for over a week, (along with his 3 kids, wife, wife's brothers and sisters). My brother and sister in law never set boundaries with them. They had to board the dog for 1 week $$, not to mention grocery shopping every other day. the place has ONE bathroom. My mom had to take showers at night because of the long line for the bathroom in the mornings. Physical brother in law has tons of other family, and means to stay in a HOTEL especially since he decided to bring a caravan of other people. Just cheap. Personally I would have told him Hotel California is booked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

Well played, mil!! Thanksgiving with your son!! All alone!! I'd be pissed unless I could be partying it up without them.

For real. Just tell her to reschedule the doctor's appointment!!!!

I had a weird ingrown hair on my labe, but wasn't sure what it was, hadn't had one before and couldn't hide my limping any more and in laws kept asking us to join them in their marathon. Finally I told mil "I have this thing...." And described it. She was listening, telling me she had had that before... She looked very sympathetic and I impulsively said "wanna see?" She said "oh yes"....

Dh came around the corner upon us from behind and saw us checking out my close up grisly beaver shots on my iPhone and just LOST HIS MIND. In truth I think he was tickled I cared enough to overshare.

I was the creep in this situation, sorry In-laws.... I am thinking I should corner her again, but this time have a dick pic and try to pass it off as mine. She's a good girl, a kind mil and I think she would die lolling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

Well played, mil!! Thanksgiving with your son!! All alone!! I'd be pissed unless I could be partying it up without them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL asked me if my pregnancy was "unplanned." This was our third baby and we'd been married for a decade at this point. I gathered myself together and told her it was VERY much planned and we were shocked at how quickly I got pregnant!

Before she was my MIL, she felt the need to tell me how and when and where DH was conceived. Seared forever into my memory and I don't think DH even knows.

MIL has no filter and surprise, no friends.

My mother wrote in my sister's BABY BOOK where and when my sister was conceived and why exactly she was absolutely sure of the timing and location of conception. In her defense, her own MIL had given her the same run down of where and when each of HER children were conceived, including my father.

Please god give me a better filter with my own children and their spouses.

My DH and I went on vacation to Alaska a month before I got pregnant. When the baby was 6 months old, MIL asked me out of the clear blue sky, "So was [baby] an Alaska baby?" When I said no, she asked, "Oh. Was he conceived before or after? Because I thought he was an Alaska baby." Why she wanted to pin down the time and place of her grandson's conception, I'll never know.

She also insisted that my DH be in the delivery room when I give birth because "he got to be there for the fun part."

You know, it's funny -- I find my MIL so annoying and boundary-crossing in real life, but typing this story out, I find it amusing and hilarious. Maybe I should cut her a little slack and be amused by her inappropriateness.

Good attitude, PP! I can see myself feeling the same way--very taken aback/put out in person in the moment, but thinking of it later almost as if she's a character in a novel I'd like to write.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL asked me if my pregnancy was "unplanned." This was our third baby and we'd been married for a decade at this point. I gathered myself together and told her it was VERY much planned and we were shocked at how quickly I got pregnant!

Before she was my MIL, she felt the need to tell me how and when and where DH was conceived. Seared forever into my memory and I don't think DH even knows.

MIL has no filter and surprise, no friends.

My mother wrote in my sister's BABY BOOK where and when my sister was conceived and why exactly she was absolutely sure of the timing and location of conception. In her defense, her own MIL had given her the same run down of where and when each of HER children were conceived, including my father.

Please god give me a better filter with my own children and their spouses.

My DH and I went on vacation to Alaska a month before I got pregnant. When the baby was 6 months old, MIL asked me out of the clear blue sky, "So was [baby] an Alaska baby?" When I said no, she asked, "Oh. Was he conceived before or after? Because I thought he was an Alaska baby." Why she wanted to pin down the time and place of her grandson's conception, I'll never know.

She also insisted that my DH be in the delivery room when I give birth because "he got to be there for the fun part."

You know, it's funny -- I find my MIL so annoying and boundary-crossing in real life, but typing this story out, I find it amusing and hilarious. Maybe I should cut her a little slack and be amused by her inappropriateness.

Anonymous wrote:Can you find a nice last-minute trip to go on with your immediate family?

Even a localish hotel "stay-cation," because as MIL knows, you were planning some private time with family. DH can stay the night before with MIL to take her to the appointment and then to the airport, then come join you.

Harder for her to insist on coming over when you are out of your house and paying for quiet time. Also, "the traffic," you know.

On the day of our engagement, instead of saying congrats, MIL pulled me aside and asked me point-blank if I was having sex with her son (now DH). I was dumb-founded, and didn't answer so she goes on to tell me "Come on, tell me. I was having sex with FIL before marriage. Now your turn?" I still didn't answer, but got super red in the face. I later found out from DH that she then wrote him an email and said that I had *told* her that we were having sex (I hadn't) and to make sure that we use birth control because -- and I QUOTE -- "Engagements break up all the time, and I don't want that woman to trick you into marriage when you realize she's all wrong for you."

Anonymous wrote:My cousin has posted at least two abortions.

Disgusting. Posted what? Details? Pictures? And where, Facebook?

Don't know what to say except *hugs*, *hugs* and more *hugs*!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

i would postpone the 'thanksgiving' until after she is gone. order pizza thurs night.

Yes, this might be the year to start new traditions; movies and Chinese on Thanksgiving, turkey and the trimmings on Saturday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

Can you find a nice last-minute trip to go on with your immediate family?

However you deal with it this time, might be good to be pre-emptive in the future. You didn't do anything wrong, though.

Maybe when you let it out on whatever social media or private messages that you are doing a quiet holiday at home, add in that you won't be available for visits regardless of reason, unfortunately. Of course, you shouldn't have to say it, but apparently you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We told everyone we were having a quiet Thanksgiving with just us at home this year. There have been some extended family issues and we want some time alone with the kids stress free. MIL called and said she needs to come now since she made a doctors appointment in our town that Friday. She lives 10 hours away and has never had a doctors appointment here before. DH and I are arguing over this. He thinks I am selfish. I think MIL is manipulating and has no boundaries.

Call me an ass but I'd call to confirm that appt see if it's true (a lot of offices have no hrs or a shorter day, the days around holidays) and if it is I'd then set up a whole days appts with other Drs to annoy and waste her time, while also seeming caring and lovingly pushy to her and your dh.

Does dh really believe she has an appt, especially if she hasn't done it there before? If so, ruh-ro for you! She's got him fooled.

m

Exactly!! It's the next day and we are still fighting about this. Part of him knows she is manipulating and he is caught in the middle. We have been married for 20 years so this is nothing new. The latest update, he told her he would book hotel rooms for her and him right near the appointment since traffic is a nightmare the entire holiday weekend and he wants to go to this doctor with her. We still don't have a name of a doctor. I am trying to give him some space but I am boiling mad and sick of her games.

i would postpone the 'thanksgiving' until after she is gone. order pizza thurs night.