I have a theory based on my own experience and the experience of moms I know in my peer group (almost 40). When I was elementary age, there were lots of sleepovers, my parents and my friends parents did not think twice about them, and at the sleepovers there was very little supervision. Lots of weird things happened. Parents smoking and passing out drunk, driving kids home drunk, sexual exploration in the basement. We watched Madonna music videos on the tv, the Exorcist, Chucky, Freddie Krueger and put girls bras in the freezer. One of my friends dad walked around the house in his underwear and wkth his penis hanging out. Parents did not supervise their kids like we do today (or at least the way I do today), and out expectations are low.
To me sleepover means trouble. Simple. It's not that we don't trust you dads, it's that we have these memories seared into our brains, and we tbink better safe than sorry.

Being Gay has nothing to do with being a pedophile, so why would I care if you're gay? When did every man suddenly become a suspected pedophile? Everyone here saying "no men allowed" must be worried that their own husband is a child molester as well, since he is a man....

As another heterosexual normal dad, it is depressing to see how biased the response is against dads.

But it looks like the answer to OP's unwritten question is that he and his husband should plan to have some sort of social event, inviting the families of girls that might be invited to a sleepover before the sleepover. Maybe host a brunch even to a lunch event some weekend so that the families can get to know OP and husband as a family before a sleepover event. This will give those families that need to know the dads a chance to meet the dads before getting a sleepover invitation.

Just because a woman is in the house, does not mean she would know or be willing to protect a child (she could be scared of the man). Likewise, plenty of women abuse kids.

I'd need to meet you and your DH first, but otherwise I can't imagine saying my DD couldn't sleep over in a house with a man present... just because man? How bizarre. Gay dads would, if anything, concern me less than straight dads, but neither would be of particular concern.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer there be a woman in the house. Is there an "aunt" that could spend the night?

I never get this.

You'd rather have an aunt you don't know (she could be a meth addict) vs. two gay dads.

Please keep your family away from mine - I don't want your values to spill over onto my child.

You think I should trust my children to somebody who would invite a meth addict over?

Obviously we're speaking in generalities. I don't know the 2 gay dads (this is an anonymous post - even if I did know them I wouldn't know that I know them).

In general, I would feel more comfortable with a woman in the house for a sleepover than just male adults (whether it's a divorced dad, a dad alone because Mom's on a business trip, a divorced hay dad, 2 gay dads, etc.)

Yes, I realize that sometimes women choose to ignore abuse, or may be abusers themselves, but I still feel that having a woman in the house that the people I'm trusting my child to feel is trustworthy will be an extra safeguard.

But it isn't a woman you know or trust. You sound silly and paranoid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer there be a woman in the house. Is there an "aunt" that could spend the night?

I never get this.

You'd rather have an aunt you don't know (she could be a meth addict) vs. two gay dads.

Please keep your family away from mine - I don't want your values to spill over onto my child.

You think I should trust my children to somebody who would invite a meth addict over?

Obviously we're speaking in generalities. I don't know the 2 gay dads (this is an anonymous post - even if I did know them I wouldn't know that I know them).

In general, I would feel more comfortable with a woman in the house for a sleepover than just male adults (whether it's a divorced dad, a dad alone because Mom's on a business trip, a divorced hay dad, 2 gay dads, etc.)

Yes, I realize that sometimes women choose to ignore abuse, or may be abusers themselves, but I still feel that having a woman in the house that the people I'm trusting my child to feel is trustworthy will be an extra safeguard.

If you aren't comfortable with men, then you shouldn't be sending your children to other people's houses ever. Are you comfortable with your own DH? Why? Wouldn't you think other people should trust him too?

I get that abuse happens, but it really does seem highly unlikely. Of course you have to know your kid, and it's probably best to get to know the parents of your kid's friend. But honestly? No men allowed to supervise kids at sleepovers? Huh?

Fine

Hey, if my kid is going to sleep over, then I would want to know you....I don't care about anything except, if your kid is happy, if my kid is comfortable, plays well with your kid, familiar with your house....safe environment....I would
ask that of any other parent as well....is this offensive, if I say, gay dads are the best? I mean they usually are not judgemental, want the best for their kids, the world, etc.

As long as I knew both of you well - which is my standard for all sleepovers. I have married gay friends with kids and wouldn't have an issue at all with the kids having a sleepover.

I don't like the idea of sleepovers at the homes of people I know only casually as a general rule.

Interesting. I was thinking I need my dh there to help me entertain the kids (like the active run around and build the fire). I would be exhausted. Now, I see why that might not be a good idea to have him be the entertainer of kids-other parents might not be comfortable. Especially when kids tend to climb on my dh, whether sitting or standing.

I guess it depends on what type of person you are? How well you get along with me and my kids, not so much your orientation. Also, if i know your pattern of responsibility. If i see you holding a bottle of beer or smoking most of the time i see you, it's better i don't let you watch my kids overnight without me around. If you are always eyeing my kids, probably not going to happen. You are talking about overnight. That's a long time to have someone watch my kids.
So, I would start with camping in a public place. Or maybe campout in the yard.

This thread is weird. My kids spent the night with friends and had sleepovers at our house all the time when they were younger. I have never heard of the "no dads" thing. Literally it has never even come up in the 28 years I have been parenting. And with five kids, there were a lot of sleepovers.

OP, for me it would be no different than any other sleepover. As long as I knew you, I would be completely fine with a sleepover.

This thread is so ugly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gay men and daughter sleepover: maybe.

Gay men and son sleepover: sorry, no way.

why?

Because the troll is implying that gay men will get turned on by a 6 yo boy and spend the night engaging in ritualistic sex abuse.