Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

I read all the pages, including the first paragraph. Pointless to advice someone to invest in high time/money routine when she says she doesn’t have the 60 seconds it takes to put on blush. But I’m sure it’s helpful to someone else, just not the OP.

I would love to hear some de-frumping tips that require no time investment whatsoever.

De-frumping tips that take no time whatsoever-

1. Eat fewer calories. Lose weight. This could even save you time if you are spending time snacking. This can be easier if you have the money or insurance coverage for a GLP-1 prescription. (Not relevant to OP since she's slim and pleased with her weight.)

2. Drink enough water and quit drinking alcohol. I am amazed at how much a lot of middle aged women drink and it really shows up in their skin, weight, and general appearance. Again, if you are drinking booze as an activity this could save you time. If it's how you socialize you can go for walks with friends instead thereby adding in exercise.

3. Stop biting your nails if you do so. Ditto for any other body focused repetitive behaviors like feet picking or hair plucking.

4. Wear colors that suit you.

Your defrumping tips, while useful to some people, will not be useful to the op who described her main issues as hair (color and style) and clothes, not her weight or bloat.

Anonymous wrote:OP claims to have no time to shop, shower, style hair or apply makeup...but can post on DCUM. Priorities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

I read all the pages, including the first paragraph. Pointless to advice someone to invest in high time/money routine when she says she doesn’t have the 60 seconds it takes to put on blush. But I’m sure it’s helpful to someone else, just not the OP.

I would love to hear some de-frumping tips that require no time investment whatsoever.

De-frumping tips that take no time whatsoever-

1. Eat fewer calories. Lose weight. This could even save you time if you are spending time snacking. This can be easier if you have the money or insurance coverage for a GLP-1 prescription. (Not relevant to OP since she's slim and pleased with her weight.)

2. Drink enough water and quit drinking alcohol. I am amazed at how much a lot of middle aged women drink and it really shows up in their skin, weight, and general appearance. Again, if you are drinking booze as an activity this could save you time. If it's how you socialize you can go for walks with friends instead thereby adding in exercise.

3. Stop biting your nails if you do so. Ditto for any other body focused repetitive behaviors like feet picking or hair plucking.

4. Wear colors that suit you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

I read all the pages, including the first paragraph. Pointless to advice someone to invest in high time/money routine when she says she doesn’t have the 60 seconds it takes to put on blush. But I’m sure it’s helpful to someone else, just not the OP.

I would love to hear some de-frumping tips that require no time investment whatsoever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

I read all the pages, including the first paragraph. Pointless to advice someone to invest in high time/money routine when she says she doesn’t have the 60 seconds it takes to put on blush. But I’m sure it’s helpful to someone else, just not the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

I read all the pages, including the first paragraph. Pointless to advice someone to invest in high time/money routine when she says she doesn’t have the 60 seconds it takes to put on blush. But I’m sure it’s helpful to someone else, just not the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Read the first paragraph. If OP wants to look better, then she’ll need to invest time and energy in it. Everyone would always look incredible if it was quick and easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Except it completely missed that OP did not want to spend this much time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.

this is a super helpful and kind post. thank you from a new poster.

Anonymous wrote:Being stylish and well groomed takes a lot of time, effort, and usually money. It doesn’t just happen. If you want to be less frumpy, then you need to approach personal maintenance as a hobby.

Your hair color is probably too dark. Go to a well-reviewed salon for a consult and say you want a color that will blend your grays, grow out nicely, and won’t require you to come in more than every 6-8 weeks for a touch up. Discuss options for a flattering cut, watch closely and ask questions as they style it, buy the products suggested, then schedule a series of appointments to have your stylist help you practice styling your hair. It’s a fast process once you know what you’re doing. I love and recommend Ferro Salon.

Visit a cosmetic dermatologist to discuss skincare treatments like Botox, PDL, and Fraxel. Do NOT go to an med spa. I see Dr. Adrian at the Center for Laser Surgery.

Invest in medical-grade skincare products if you don’t already use them. Follow your skincare routine religiously. If your skin is glowing, you really don’t need more than maybe a brow pencil or gel, some smudge-free liner tightlined under your top eyelashes, a swipe of mascara, a skin tint or tinted moisturizer, and maybe some concealer under your eyes. I keep Dior Lip Glow in my bag and apply throughout the day.

Use cuticle oil and cream religiously - at least 2-3 times per day. I use Dior for both. Keep your nails trimmed, filed and buffed and push your cuticles back. I like the glass nail care kit from Tweezerman. Slather Kerasal on your feet before bed and pull on some cotton socks to take care of any dead, dry skin.

Go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year. Stay away from prints and stick to solids in colors that are flattering to you. Invite a brutally honest friend over, try on everything in your closet, and ask for their feedback. Focus on buying fewer, better things. Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt to show off your waist. Keep proportions in mind when dressing - pair a tighter top with looser bottoms and vice versa.

Update the silhouette of your jeans and pick up some new sunglasses.

Find a good tailor to ensure your clothing fits perfectly. I go to and love Cheryl Lofton Tailoring.

Whiten your teeth! Makes an amazing difference.