Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP here. I'm honestly not the person from Chicago that you seem to have me confused with, and I haven't read that thread (nor do I want to, since it sounds like it involves a lot of insult slinging!). I was a little shocked at the tone of some of these messages until I realized that you all think I'm someone who posted something else about this and am continuing to harbor on it or said something stupid in a previous post. Anyway, I'm totally new to this part of the forum and usually hang out in the "General Parenting" zone.

So, I don't disagree that it may not be possible for us, but I'm considering options and was curious about how people make it work. I have considered the possibility of moving to cheaper area with worse public schools so that prices are cheaper. I have also considered going back to work and absolutely plan to do so eventually but would prefer to wait until my youngest is 2 or 3. I have no intention of being a SAHM while they are in school full-time.

As for earning potential, I love that people are slamming my DH and me for choosing low-paying jobs. Do you live in the real world? It's not like there are tons of $200K+ jobs out there. And it's not like we can just magically become lawyers or doctors who may make higher salaries based on our fields. Whether or not I wanted to, I can't think of a job I could walk into with my background and make even $150K. And I have some very good experience and a master's. But not every field pays that well, and education is not one that typically does. Is it my fault for choosing that field? Sure. But don't pretend I'm being lazy for getting paid a low salary because I didn't search in the right place for a job in my field.

Honestly, I appreciate the snark because you've convinced me that I probably don't want my children going to school with a bunch of people like you. Thank you to those we were nice and offered helpful suggestions, even if they involved some harsh realities.

It's fine that you chose a lower paying career and to stay at home. What is means is that you can't afford private schools, the same way you can't afford a mansion or a maseratti. It's weird that you even have to ask this. If you're middle class you can't afford rich people things.

I'm middle class and I am sending my DC to a "rich people" school. It doesn't take mansion or maseratti money to afford private school. More importantly, just because she chose to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government does not mean their kids don't deserve the best education available in the DMV. You need a reality check.

Okay, if we need a reality check, can you please share your actual expenses, income, and savings? I am very curious how people actually afford private school.

Oh please. It's called knowing how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents -- a concept you probably couldn't begin to grasp.

Good to know PP. I will alert the ministry of magic and alert them that you performing magic outside of Hogwarts. I'm sure professor mcgonegal would support your thriftiness (she IS Scottish!) but your blatant misuse of your magic needs to be addressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP here. I'm honestly not the person from Chicago that you seem to have me confused with, and I haven't read that thread (nor do I want to, since it sounds like it involves a lot of insult slinging!). I was a little shocked at the tone of some of these messages until I realized that you all think I'm someone who posted something else about this and am continuing to harbor on it or said something stupid in a previous post. Anyway, I'm totally new to this part of the forum and usually hang out in the "General Parenting" zone.

So, I don't disagree that it may not be possible for us, but I'm considering options and was curious about how people make it work. I have considered the possibility of moving to cheaper area with worse public schools so that prices are cheaper. I have also considered going back to work and absolutely plan to do so eventually but would prefer to wait until my youngest is 2 or 3. I have no intention of being a SAHM while they are in school full-time.

As for earning potential, I love that people are slamming my DH and me for choosing low-paying jobs. Do you live in the real world? It's not like there are tons of $200K+ jobs out there. And it's not like we can just magically become lawyers or doctors who may make higher salaries based on our fields. Whether or not I wanted to, I can't think of a job I could walk into with my background and make even $150K. And I have some very good experience and a master's. But not every field pays that well, and education is not one that typically does. Is it my fault for choosing that field? Sure. But don't pretend I'm being lazy for getting paid a low salary because I didn't search in the right place for a job in my field.

Honestly, I appreciate the snark because you've convinced me that I probably don't want my children going to school with a bunch of people like you. Thank you to those we were nice and offered helpful suggestions, even if they involved some harsh realities.

It's fine that you chose a lower paying career and to stay at home. What is means is that you can't afford private schools, the same way you can't afford a mansion or a maseratti. It's weird that you even have to ask this. If you're middle class you can't afford rich people things.

I'm middle class and I am sending my DC to a "rich people" school. It doesn't take mansion or maseratti money to afford private school. More importantly, just because she chose to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government does not mean their kids don't deserve the best education available in the DMV. You need a reality check.

Okay, if we need a reality check, can you please share your actual expenses, income, and savings? I am very curious how people actually afford private school.

Oh please. It's called knowing how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents -- a concept you probably couldn't begin to grasp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't mean big changes like what age you had a child or whether you decided to go to med school or not. I mean smaller changes. Like a govt lawyer looking for a higher paying job at a firm, or the sahm going back to work.

Obviously you live in a bubble. As a 20 year government attorney it is darn near impossible for me to all of sudden switch to a private firm. Also, it's not that easy for SAHM to transaction back into the workforce either. Have you been paying any attention to the hiring market over the past 10 years? So sick of people who think everyone's life should be as simple as the one they have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

The vast majority of people could make more money if they had made different choices. For example, every sahm out there could earn an income. All of those parents who had kids very young or single moms who had babies out of wedlock. All of these decisions result in families earning a lower income than others. My husband and I waited to have kids and now earn 400k plus. Had we had kids going we would have been making much much less and wouldn't have time to save up a downpayment for a home.

I don't mean big changes like what age you had a child or whether you decided to go to med school or not. I mean smaller changes. Like a govt lawyer looking for a higher paying job at a firm, or the sahm going back to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

The vast majority of people could make more money if they had made different choices. For example, every sahm out there could earn an income. All of those parents who had kids very young or single moms who had babies out of wedlock. All of these decisions result in families earning a lower income than others. My husband and I waited to have kids and now earn 400k plus. Had we had kids going we would have been making much much less and wouldn't have time to save up a downpayment for a home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP apply to the school's you like and apply for aid. There are one too many FA haters on this board who have nothing better to do but tell you what's not possible. #250KHHItwokidsandreceiving50%FA

I agree with this poster. OP, apply for aid and you will be pleasantly surprised. Our HHI is 250 as well with both spouses working and we receive $15k in aid for 2 kids. Annual tuition is 56k for 2 kids. We could make it work without the aid, but the aid allows us some breathing room. I truly believe everyone with hhi of 350k or less should apply for aid. The schools recognize that these tuitions are ridiculous even for those who make a ton of money.

Such entitlement. You do know you are taking it away from the truly needy, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

The vast majority of people could make more money if they had made different choices. For example, every sahm out there could earn an income. All of those parents who had kids very young or single moms who had babies out of wedlock. All of these decisions result in families earning a lower income than others. My husband and I waited to have kids and now earn 400k plus. Had we had kids going we would have been making much much less and wouldn't have time to save up a downpayment for a home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP apply to the school's you like and apply for aid. There are one too many FA haters on this board who have nothing better to do but tell you what's not possible. #250KHHItwokidsandreceiving50%FA

I agree with this poster. OP, apply for aid and you will be pleasantly surprised. Our HHI is 250 as well with both spouses working and we receive $15k in aid for 2 kids. Annual tuition is 56k for 2 kids. We could make it work without the aid, but the aid allows us some breathing room. I truly believe everyone with hhi of 350k or less should apply for aid. The schools recognize that these tuitions are ridiculous even for those who make a ton of money.

Anonymous wrote:OP apply to the school's you like and apply for aid. There are one too many FA haters on this board who have nothing better to do but tell you what's not possible. #250KHHItwokidsandreceiving50%FA

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP here. I'm honestly not the person from Chicago that you seem to have me confused with, and I haven't read that thread (nor do I want to, since it sounds like it involves a lot of insult slinging!). I was a little shocked at the tone of some of these messages until I realized that you all think I'm someone who posted something else about this and am continuing to harbor on it or said something stupid in a previous post. Anyway, I'm totally new to this part of the forum and usually hang out in the "General Parenting" zone.

So, I don't disagree that it may not be possible for us, but I'm considering options and was curious about how people make it work. I have considered the possibility of moving to cheaper area with worse public schools so that prices are cheaper. I have also considered going back to work and absolutely plan to do so eventually but would prefer to wait until my youngest is 2 or 3. I have no intention of being a SAHM while they are in school full-time.

As for earning potential, I love that people are slamming my DH and me for choosing low-paying jobs. Do you live in the real world? It's not like there are tons of $200K+ jobs out there. And it's not like we can just magically become lawyers or doctors who may make higher salaries based on our fields. Whether or not I wanted to, I can't think of a job I could walk into with my background and make even $150K. And I have some very good experience and a master's. But not every field pays that well, and education is not one that typically does. Is it my fault for choosing that field? Sure. But don't pretend I'm being lazy for getting paid a low salary because I didn't search in the right place for a job in my field.

Honestly, I appreciate the snark because you've convinced me that I probably don't want my children going to school with a bunch of people like you. Thank you to those we were nice and offered helpful suggestions, even if they involved some harsh realities.

It's fine that you chose a lower paying career and to stay at home. What is means is that you can't afford private schools, the same way you can't afford a mansion or a maseratti. It's weird that you even have to ask this. If you're middle class you can't afford rich people things.

I'm middle class and I am sending my DC to a "rich people" school. It doesn't take mansion or maseratti money to afford private school. More importantly, just because she chose to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government does not mean their kids don't deserve the best education available in the DMV. You need a reality check.

Okay, if we need a reality check, can you please share your actual expenses, income, and savings? I am very curious how people actually afford private school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP here. I'm honestly not the person from Chicago that you seem to have me confused with, and I haven't read that thread (nor do I want to, since it sounds like it involves a lot of insult slinging!). I was a little shocked at the tone of some of these messages until I realized that you all think I'm someone who posted something else about this and am continuing to harbor on it or said something stupid in a previous post. Anyway, I'm totally new to this part of the forum and usually hang out in the "General Parenting" zone.

So, I don't disagree that it may not be possible for us, but I'm considering options and was curious about how people make it work. I have considered the possibility of moving to cheaper area with worse public schools so that prices are cheaper. I have also considered going back to work and absolutely plan to do so eventually but would prefer to wait until my youngest is 2 or 3. I have no intention of being a SAHM while they are in school full-time.

As for earning potential, I love that people are slamming my DH and me for choosing low-paying jobs. Do you live in the real world? It's not like there are tons of $200K+ jobs out there. And it's not like we can just magically become lawyers or doctors who may make higher salaries based on our fields. Whether or not I wanted to, I can't think of a job I could walk into with my background and make even $150K. And I have some very good experience and a master's. But not every field pays that well, and education is not one that typically does. Is it my fault for choosing that field? Sure. But don't pretend I'm being lazy for getting paid a low salary because I didn't search in the right place for a job in my field.

Honestly, I appreciate the snark because you've convinced me that I probably don't want my children going to school with a bunch of people like you. Thank you to those we were nice and offered helpful suggestions, even if they involved some harsh realities.

It's fine that you chose a lower paying career and to stay at home. What is means is that you can't afford private schools, the same way you can't afford a mansion or a maseratti. It's weird that you even have to ask this. If you're middle class you can't afford rich people things.

I'm middle class and I am sending my DC to a "rich people" school. It doesn't take mansion or maseratti money to afford private school. More importantly, just because she chose to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government does not mean their kids don't deserve the best education available in the DMV. You need a reality check.

Every kid deserves "the best educaiton available in the DMV." OP doesn't deserve it just because she wants it. She has to pay for it. It's just weird that she's asking such as obvious question, as if there were a secret to how people do it. It's basic math and budgeting. It makes it seem like she feels like her kids are entitled to something extra just for being her kids.