Anonymous wrote:Does it differ if you are going out with other couples or families with different numbers and ages of kids?

We alternate who pays for everything. I'll pickup the tab one time, they'll pick up the tab the next.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.

Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)

I would not deliberately stick a friend with a big bill for food/drink they did not eat, but then again I'm not monitoring everyone's consumption. If you can't afford to go out, you just shouldn't. It's not fair to your friends to make them be your party and spending monitors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.

Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)

Being able to afford YOUR MEAL is not the same as being able to afford to pay for the meal of a millionaire buying bottles of wine. Is this really hard to grasp? You are either clueless or deliberately obtuse.

Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.

Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former server, just split it evenly. Separate checks are a nightmare.

One check itemized by person isn't complicated at all, particularly if everyone pays by CC.

Another former server here, and I agree with PP. Unless you have an operating system that allows you to itemize by customer by default - adding items to Seat 1/Seat 2 etc - it IS a nightmare. Giving the table the check to make notes on, creating new checks for each customer and then splitting off each dish from the original check, in addition to splitting wine/Pellegrino/appetizers/desserts four (or more!) ways equally. It takes forever (as OP noted).

Never worked at a restaurant that didn't have that option. Even so, that's part of the job. People shouldn't have to subsidize someone's meal to make the server happy.

You're right, but it's common courtesy to make it a seamless experience for all involved. Gets to be a bit much with people counting down to the penny who had how much of what.

We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here^ I can also guarantee your server hates you when you ask for separate checks too, so good luck with that.

I don't care is a server hates me.

Nice. Great way to treat people who bust their ass for less than minimum wage plus tips. Better hope karma doesn't catch up to you.

Bring cash, tally in head + tip, place cash in receipt holder.

I'm so glad that I'm friends with decent, sane people

We try to do it the simplest way possible (usually splitting evenly), but if it looks like that won't be fair then we don't. When someone hasn't had drinks or has clearly ordered less, we just ask everyone to chip in what they owe. Occasionally someone will just choose to pick up the whole thing. If it's a place that offers to do separate checks then we'll probably take them up on that. How the bill is handled varies, but no one feels taken advantage of and no one has to worry if this time they're not drinking that they'll be subsidizing everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:PP here^ I can also guarantee your server hates you when you ask for separate checks too, so good luck with that.

Wrong. Former server here and it makes no difference to me as long as they aren't jerks about it. And yes, it IS part of the job. You can't expect to like every part of every job.

We just take turns paying.

Anonymous wrote:PP here^ I can also guarantee your server hates you when you ask for separate checks too, so good luck with that.

I don't care is a server hates me.

PP here^ I can also guarantee your server hates you when you ask for separate checks too, so good luck with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former server, just split it evenly. Separate checks are a nightmare.

One check itemized by person isn't complicated at all, particularly if everyone pays by CC.

Another former server here, and I agree with PP. Unless you have an operating system that allows you to itemize by customer by default - adding items to Seat 1/Seat 2 etc - it IS a nightmare. Giving the table the check to make notes on, creating new checks for each customer and then splitting off each dish from the original check, in addition to splitting wine/Pellegrino/appetizers/desserts four (or more!) ways equally. It takes forever (as OP noted).

Never worked at a restaurant that didn't have that option. Even so, that's part of the job. People shouldn't have to subsidize someone's meal to make the server happy.

Well, there's a reason why lots of restaurants don't do separate checks, or only allow splitting the bill by X amount of ways. It's a time suck for the server, which leads to lower profits. It forces the server to spend 5+ minutes, which is a LONG TIME when you're waiting tables, standing in front of the computer, splitting everything up, printing everything out, running credit cards, bringing everything back.
"It's part of the job" is a ridiculous thing to say. Why not just bring cash if you know you're going to need to be splitting?

We always get separate checks.