Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

Yes, PP, WE GET IT!!!! You can stop ramming your opinion down OP and everyone else's throats now! Sheesh, enough is enough. Obviously OP and other posters -- like me -- don't agree with you. Maybe WE will keep stating our opinions again and again until YOU and the "several other posters" change YOUR opinions!

The style of convo you advocate sounds oppressive and insufferable. I wouldn't mind if OP asked me why I ordered salad. I'm strong enough to handle it!

You are weirdly uppity and obsessively defensive of OP for being a total stranger.

And you literally asked "who is we?" Hype the fuck down lady.

No, that was someone else. Good lord you are a seriously strange one for totally, definitely not being the crazy OP herself.

In real life, I know plenty of middle eastern harpy women just like OP describes herself. Basically, because they spend a lifetime have men control, belittle and judge their choices, the only one they can in turn do it to, are women like their daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins. It's really sad.

To the OP, I would say - every time your sister says you are wrong, say to yourself over and over "I am wrong. I am being critical in an attempt to control another person because I feel so unable to control my own life" Who knows - maybe after the 100th time you will develop some self awareness.

Basically OP - you are wrong and your sister is right. You are hypercritical, judgmental, lack self awareness and have almost no ability to be an independent adult. Your parents are controlling your life and you can't make choices and decisions without them. You are angry at your sister because she becoming an actual adult and you are just waiting around for another adult male to step in and control your life so you don't need to do it for yourself.

Some people in life are self-starters and go-getters. That's your sister. You are neither.

Also, your mom no doubt treats you the same way you treat your sister. Being your mom's punching bag for criticism and her own sucky life, doesn't mean she loves you more or better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may think it's an innocent question, but younger siblings can be super-sensitive to implied disapproval. When you ask questions about her choices, it feels like you are questioning her judgment.

This +1 - my younger sister blows up quite a bit at questions that sound like I may be judging her for her decisions. I've sort of learned to tiptoe around most of it. Half our family is middle eastern on my mother's side, so I understand the pressure of living up to familial expectations. Especially if you are more successful or your family seems to favor you more, it becomes harder for your sister to disassociate their bad behavior with your own relationship with her.

It's hard and sometimes my sister and I still have rocky moments, but we make it work.

It's hard for you because you are obnoxious and judgmental. The problem is all you.

Also, how the fuck would you be able to handle a sibling's constant unsolicited criticism of your life choices when you can't handle solicited opinions that differ from yours about a topic that doesn't affect you in any way?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

Yes, PP, WE GET IT!!!! You can stop ramming your opinion down OP and everyone else's throats now! Sheesh, enough is enough. Obviously OP and other posters -- like me -- don't agree with you. Maybe WE will keep stating our opinions again and again until YOU and the "several other posters" change YOUR opinions!

The style of convo you advocate sounds oppressive and insufferable. I wouldn't mind if OP asked me why I ordered salad. I'm strong enough to handle it!

You are weirdly uppity and obsessively defensive of OP for being a total stranger.

And you literally asked "who is we?" Hype the fuck down lady.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

Yes, PP, WE GET IT!!!! You can stop ramming your opinion down OP and everyone else's throats now! Sheesh, enough is enough. Obviously OP and other posters -- like me -- don't agree with you. Maybe WE will keep stating our opinions again and again until YOU and the "several other posters" change YOUR opinions!

The style of convo you advocate sounds oppressive and insufferable. I wouldn't mind if OP asked me why I ordered salad. I'm strong enough to handle it!

You are weirdly uppity and obsessively defensive of OP for being a total stranger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

+1

If anyone's bothered to read the other questions by OP (and responses), they'd clearly see that more of the same is going to continue until OP changes her attitude and approach. Because after months it's the same old cycle of basically "Why doesn't my sister love me for correcting her?"

There are plenty of other attitudes about the situation the OP is in -- like the post directly above yours -- and yet you insist it's the OP who doesn't get it. You sound like a broken record, PP.

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

+1

If anyone's bothered to read the other questions by OP (and responses), they'd clearly see that more of the same is going to continue until OP changes her attitude and approach. Because after months it's the same old cycle of basically "Why doesn't my sister love me for correcting her?"

OP, as children grow up, it's a natural thing to separate from one's family of origin and strike out on one's own. Conflict and anger at this stage is a normal way adolescents manage the separation and create distance. It would otherwise feel very painful. That is likely the developmental stage your sister is at now and so her conflicts are not likely quite as much about you as you're thinking. She may say deeply hurtful things to you, but deep down inside she loves you more than either of you know right now. She seems to be trying very hard to jump out of the family nest, but to her, you keep trying to pull her back in.

Give her space. Wait for her to come back to you. You really do need to turn your attention to your own interests and friends right now. Your sister will eventually come around, but it may take a while. Have patience.

If this is causing you a lot of grief, don't be afraid to seek out some counseling for yourself. It will be helpful.

Chick Fil A makes some delicious salads. Your sister was eating one because they are delicious. The best fast food salad offering around (yes, I know, I know...). They come with like 3 kinds of unnecessary toppings per salad AND really rich, fattening dressing. Don't knock the chick Fil a salad until you've tried it.

Anonymous wrote:We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

Yes, PP, WE GET IT!!!! You can stop ramming your opinion down OP and everyone else's throats now! Sheesh, enough is enough. Obviously OP and other posters -- like me -- don't agree with you. Maybe WE will keep stating our opinions again and again until YOU and the "several other posters" change YOUR opinions!

The style of convo you advocate sounds oppressive and insufferable. I wouldn't mind if OP asked me why I ordered salad. I'm strong enough to handle it!

We = the several posters on several threads who find the older sister's behavior to be too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your questions of why to everything remind me of my mother. I always feel like she's judging my every move because of it. It's exhausting trying to maneuver a conversation with her. Just listen to her, not everything requires a why.

"Mom, why are you always questioning me? I feel like you're judging my every move. It's exhausting. I don't owe you a why." Done.

Or, perhaps remove the chip from your shoulder and think that maybe she is just interested in what you're doing???

I think this PP probably goes around asking why everyone chooses what they chose, or how much they make, or tells people they look tired.

Op, you sound like you're very socially awkward and your sister isn't. Give her space, and get yourself some therapy to help you navigate your life here without close family nearby. You don't seem used to being on your own. If you treat everyone the same way you treat your sister, you risk pushing more people away, and right now you probably need friends more than you realize.

Or you can keep doing what you're doing, and posting threads wondering why it's not working well for you. We'll keep answering the same way, and maybe one day it'll click.

Who is "we"? Not me. You sound very shallow and boring to me, PP, like someone who can't have a genuine conversation -- not even with your own sister. The tyranny of the shallow right here -- you are only permitted to make chit-chat, nothing more.

I like people who actually talk about real things, and I don't like people who insist everyone around them remain superficial. So boring.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. Why are people jumping all over OP? For asking questions? For being what I would describe as questioning? This is not "critical", base on what I've read. Some of you are incredibly thinned skinned and obviously defensive.

Why did you do X? Answer or not. This is more about the sister's over-sensitivity in my book. Just b/c you're the youngest doesn't mean you were born without a spine. You're offended by questions??? GMAFB.

OP, this is your sister's issue. I think it's fair to reflect to see if there is a pattern of criticism here. Unreasonable criticism. If there is, maybe you apologize. But, your sister is acting like a spoiled horse's ass. And there's really nothing you can do about it. Back off. Give her time. Either she'll come around or she won't, and you'll have to mourn that. But, this is on her. There is not a single post on here, just a lot of speculation, to support her behavior as described.

I think there are just a couple of posters who feel like the sister, and doing to the OP what they can't do IRL. There is at least one obsessive OP-hater -- she posted a link to all the sister-related threads in the Feedback forum. Seriously and weirdly obsessive hater....

She sounds immature, and like my DH. I will ask him an innocent question and he will get all offended so easily. Seriously, she might have a mental illness because when someone's behavior makes no sense, that's probably the reason. At least in your case, you know what she thinks. My sister doesn't reciprocate my attempts at communication but has never come out and said why, but it hurts just the same. You have to take the high road and hope that one day she will realize the error of her ways and forgive you for whatever you supposedly did.