This is not going to end well, OP. He doesn't have the empathy to understand your need to sleep. Also, shaking people awake is literally a form of torture. I briefly had a bf in my younger days that did this. Reading your story made me feel ill. Sleep deprivation is serious and in my house, sleep is respected. Only young children or emergencies override sleep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

You give him too much credit. He woke you up as punishment for being out of milk and to make sure you don't let that happen again. He's terrible.

THIS!! Not sweet!! Sweet is getting milk just in case you want cereal when you wake up.

+2

+1-fucking-thousand. Sweet is going out to get the milk and picking you up a coffee and bagel and leaving it on the kitchen table with a note. THIS is stupid and mean and controlling and vindictive. You have set your standards way too low.

+4
Nothing about this is sweet. He sounds slow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

You give him too much credit. He woke you up as punishment for being out of milk and to make sure you don't let that happen again. He's terrible.

THIS!! Not sweet!! Sweet is getting milk just in case you want cereal when you wake up.

+2

+1-fucking-thousand. Sweet is going out to get the milk and picking you up a coffee and bagel and leaving it on the kitchen table with a note. THIS is stupid and mean and controlling and vindictive. You have set your standards way too low.

OP - pelase answer the question about how you respond when this happens. My husband and my family of origEn know better than to wake me up because I turn into a grumpy evil bitch when women up and they are all to smart and self preserving to want to deal with that unless absolutely necessary.

Don't answer him if he wakes you up.

DO answer him if you are just "lounging." It sounds like he has no common sense and you ignore him most of the time, which probably contributes. He probably knows you need to sleep and doesn't care because he is irritated that even when you're awake, you don't want to be spoken to.

Lock the door. Tell him if the doors locked that's you wanting to sleep and not be woken up. Get earplugs.

I really, really hope your wedding planning includes premarital counseling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

You give him too much credit. He woke you up as punishment for being out of milk and to make sure you don't let that happen again. He's terrible.

THIS!! Not sweet!! Sweet is getting milk just in case you want cereal when you wake up.

+2

Anonymous wrote:Yes we are actually engaged and actively planning a wedding.

Run! Please don't marry this guy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

You give him too much credit. He woke you up as punishment for being out of milk and to make sure you don't let that happen again. He's terrible.

THIS!! Not sweet!! Sweet is getting milk just in case you want cereal when you wake up.

Yes we are actually engaged and actively planning a wedding.

He doesn't sound sweet, he sounds insensitive and stupid and disrespectful. Try having a conversation about this over dinner and make it very clear he is not to wake you up unless someone needs to go to the hospital. And then Remind him every time you go down for a nap. Can you lock the bedroom door? Maybe a sign with a bright marker to hang on the door that says 'do not wake except in case of emergency'? I do not understand why you would want to marry someone who continually disregards your stated desires.

Anonymous wrote:Is he your fiance or are you just living with him?

I don't know about OP but what is up with this new trend of people using "fiancée" to just mean very serious boyfriend/girlfriend but have no immediate plans to marry?

I'd leave him.

Anonymous wrote:He is a lovely man and that's why we are engaged but this is the one thing that I can't stand. He cares for me, he is loving, he cleans up after himself, and he doesn't leave the seat up, but his one flaw is constantly, abruptly waking me

He cleans up after himself is not an asset. It's a minimum qualification.